Sexuality and gender identity discussion

[pennydreadful]

Thought that there should be a thread for this where like-minded folks can talk about themselves, their feelings and associated things to do with these topics in a friendly space.

This isn't meant to be a thread for bashing anyone, regardless of their sexuality or gender identity, so let's all keep it friendly.

Originally Posted by Netkeeper

Since identity was brought up I'd like to state for the record that my sexuality is more completely described as homosexual polyamorous, but seeing as I'm single at the moment and not particularly looking that part isn't too relevant. Not that I'd say no to a dude or two that'd be interested, if I think we'd be a good match. I'd give it a try. But homosexual doesn't always describe me too perfectly either, because I've considered a few non-binary trans people and one of my exes is non-binary and adorably androgynous.

My main hangups don't lie with gender, but with sexuality, honestly -- I've had bisexual guys approach me but I'd get real uncomfortable when it was obvious they preferred women, since it made me feel like they were only lusting after me because of my feminine appearance/mannerisms. I'm still actively trying to work on it, but I've had a ******** of issues about my body and masculinity, and hearing stuff like "oh are you a twink? You look and sound so girly" doesn't really help. I mean, I guess it's flattering that they find it cute? But I worry that they'd expect me to crossdress or something that'd make me incredibly uneasy. That's actually a large part of why I don't classify myself as "looking", because I don't want bi guys hitting on me in that way.[/SPOILER]

In response to your last post Net, I do understand how you feel - both gay and straight people a lot of the time fear that bi men and women are always going to leave them for the gender that they're not getting. Nobody ever wants to play with us.

I mean, I'm actually more attracted to butch and androgynous women than femmes, and again, due to my orientation, they're the type that are least likely to want anything to do with me. But that doesn't mean that I want them to be men, because again, gender-conforming cis-men are definitely not my preferred type. (I was surprised that I did end up with the partner that I did, because I had never pictured myself as being in a relationship with a man... I view it more as, I'd be with my partner regardless of their gender).

Whoops, I'd better wrap this up as I'm just about to go out for a family dinner - but yeah, I do understand how you feel Net but you may find a lovely guy who just happens to be bi.

[Netkeeper]

Ah yes, thanks for the thread!

Oh, it isn't fear of being left or anything like that, because if I'm in a relationship with somebody I am secure; I wouldn't say yes to anybody if I was in an emotional state where I wouldn't be. I just don't like the emphasis on my body or mannerisms. That they're only with me because "I'm a guy that acts girly, best of both worlds", which isn't what I'm about at all. I probably wouldn't have too much issue with a bi dude that preferred guys. Bi dudes that prefer chicks tend to come off as pretty... dudebro-like, sometimes only liking guys that are really really feminine, and their secret wish is like, a futa or something. Nooo, not my type of guy, please don't message me

That said, I don't really think I HAVE a "type". Muscular guys look amazing, but so do slender, androgynous types. The only thing that really predisposes me towards attraction would be a high pitched, gentle, nurturing voice. Luckily there is no shortage of gay dudes that talk this way.

But on the topic of bisexuality, I do get that it's more about "liking someone regardless of gender" than it is "wanting both genders in your life". I feel really sorry for people that can't get this message through their heads, because that's where a large majority of biphobia and misunderstandings of the sexuality come from. And it REALLY is not a hard concept to get. Bisexuals aren't greedy, most of them are monogamous, and even if they aren't, polyamory isn't about being GREEDY. Polyamorous people don't do ANYTHING without full consent of EVERYONE they are in a relationship with.

[Eiko]

I sometimes wonder if my 11 year old is gay, not that it bothers me it he is. just the things he does could be a faze I suppose, but if it turns out he is I don't want him to be afraid to tell me or others when he is older. I love him not matter what.

[Zulithe]

Hi Eiko,

Probably won't be a big deal because you sound like you're prepared. I'm sure you've already taken in lots of advice through various sources on how to handle raising a potentially LGBT child and whatnot, so I won't condescend by offering suggestions

And if he is, you just never know when he'll come out with it. Young people are doing it younger and younger these days. I just would not assume that it's some far off thing, if it indeed happens to be the case.

BTW just thought I should mention i'm gay so, glad we have a strong contingent of TMNT fans who can identify with these sorts of things.

[Netkeeper]

Well, if he is gay, he's not likely to say anything about it until he's in like, middle or high school or something. If you want him to feel comfortable, I'd make sure he knows you're for gay rights or something like that, but don't say it in a way that implies you're suspecting he's in the closet. If what I'm saying makes any sense.

I wasn't afraid of coming out to my dad because he got on his soapbox about gay rights all the time, getting angry about Prop 8 and stuff like that. It was really easy to find my dad's stance on a subject, because all you had to do was listen to him yell at the TV about it.

EDIT: Zulithe ninja'd me. And you're gay too! Awesome!

[Kanon]

I am a normal girl, who likes boys.
The only difference is that I would even be fine with Quasimodo as a boyfriend.
I don´t care about looks.
(I am also not the pretty type of girl, sooo)

[Eiko]

Hey thanks you guys. Zulithe, and Netkeeper,. I am ready for when or if it happens. I will stand by his side always. I really don't quite understand how so many people will shame or hate someone for being gay just really sad.

[Lethal Lullaby]

Ooh. Finally this thread has been made.

I am bisexual. So I feel attracted to both genders. I started getting into Yuri. Might watch Yaoi. In fact I've been finding out that many of my friend/aquiantances are gay, bi, or lesbian. :3 Plus a lesbian couple moved in the house next to us. They seem nice. Maybe my family could have them over for dinner one night. (As long as mom is comfortable with it. Still unsure of her viewpoint on homosexuals. )

[Redeemer]

This thread brings up bad memories of the "Volcanic Astroid" endeavor
hopefully it doesn't get too outrageous

[Prowler]

Originally Posted by Redeemer

This thread brings up bad memories of the "Volcanic Astroid" endeavor
hopefully it doesn't get too outrageous

It's quite a shame there being no room to discuss these issues in the technodrome forums

[RaphAndDonnie]

I'm bisexual as well! Not only am I attracted to men and women but I'm also Ok with dating trans people as well. My ex-boyfriend was trans and he educated me on trans issues and all of that. I came out to my parents about a month ago as well and, to my surprise and delight, they accepted me (though they still mislabel me as a lesbian ) I'm also friends with some LGBT people in my real life and I even know an asexual person!

[Whatswiththeheadbands?]

This looks like a great idea for a thread.

I'm straight, but I have been told a couple of times that I look Gay, so there's something

[Redeemer]

Originally Posted by Prowler

It's quite a shame there being no room to discuss these issues in the technodrome forums

The reason I don't agree with you.....

Originally Posted by CyberCubed

I'm straight and I love girls way too much to even think about a guy but I have no problem with homosexuals at all. One of my co-workers was gay and we all treated him like any other guy.

Of course being a straight guy like myself I enjoy lesbian porn or kissing in movies and TV. I know those girls aren't "real lesbians" as it's male gaze lesbianism but who cares?

Two girls kissing is two girls kissing.

Is this right here, we have younger member on this forum. When I joined I was a minor I believe, but I know we have definitely younger members. I think we just need to watch what we say on here. I don't mind discussing a topic like this and have no problem with it.
Its just little sentences like this we need to watch out for is all.

[CyberCubed]

Girls kissing on TV and movies is not adult oriented. It's for everyone.

If you're going to promote equality for gays than two girls kissing on TV is no big deal.

I await the day Disney gives us the first lesbian princess. Most people already think its Elsa.

[Turo602]

No mention of porn... Man, you're dumb.

[Katie]

Originally Posted by Redeemer

Is this right here, we have younger member on this forum. When I joined I was a minor I believe, but I know we have definitely younger members. I think we just need to watch what we say on here. I don't mind discussing a topic like this and have no problem with it.
Its just little sentences like this we need to watch out for is all.

Ah see, Cyber Cubed is an adult, he just acts like a child for the negative attention.

I'm straight as straight can be, but I say do what you want. Just be honest with people up front if you are trans. Know a girl who was dating and in love with a guy who turned out to still have girl plumbing. Since she's not a lesbian she broke it off and never really got over it. Never seen someone so hurt before in my life. They were together for a year and a half and he didn't care enough to be honest before things went to far.

[Redeemer]

Originally Posted by CyberCubed

Girls kissing on TV and movies is not adult oriented. It's for everyone.

If you're going to promote equality for gays than two girls kissing on TV is no big deal.

I await the day Disney gives us the first lesbian princess. Most people already think its Elsa.

I didn't mean to underline the tv part, but I hope you get the point.

Originally Posted by Turo602

No mention of porn... Man, you're dumb.

Exactly

Originally Posted by Katie

Ah see, Cyber Cubed is an adult, he just acts like a child for the negative attention.

I'm straight as straight can be, but I say do what you want. Just be honest with people up front if you are trans. Know a girl who was dating and in love with a guy who turned out to still have girl plumbing. Since she's not a lesbian she broke it off and never really got over it. Never seen someone so hurt before in my life. They were together for a year and a half and he didn't care enough to be honest before things went to far.

Literally laughed out loud at that one. (Underlined)

The rest of the post is pretty depressing
I can only imagine how shocked she was, embarrassed, heart broke ect...

[CyberCubed]

As far as I know the only younger user on this forum is snake. Which surprises me he is only 12, I thought he was about 15 from reading his posts. His posts are very mature for his age.

[pennydreadful]

Originally Posted by Lethal Lullaby

Ooh. Finally this thread has been made.

I am bisexual. So I feel attracted to both genders. I started getting into Yuri. Might watch Yaoi. In fact I've been finding out that many of my friend/aquiantances are gay, bi, or lesbian. :3 Plus a lesbian couple moved in the house next to us. They seem nice. Maybe my family could have them over for dinner one night. (As long as mom is comfortable with it. Still unsure of her viewpoint on homosexuals. )

Hey, you're in good company - I was into yaoi before I started getting into yuri... I am an absolute yaoi fiend!!! Not as familiar with yuri, but maybe we could swap some suggestions? Do you like Strawberry Panic?

Originally Posted by Redeemer

This thread brings up bad memories of the "Volcanic Astroid" endeavor
hopefully it doesn't get too outrageous

Originally Posted by Redeemer

The reason I don't agree with you.....

Is this right here, we have younger member on this forum. When I joined I was a minor I believe, but I know we have definitely younger members. I think we just need to watch what we say on here. I don't mind discussing a topic like this and have no problem with it.
Its just little sentences like this we need to watch out for is all.

Ah, I didn't know that there had been a Volcanic Asteroid attempt at this type of thread - though I did check the Disintegrator Unit. I think we can make the thread work as long as everyone is respectful and age-appropriate in their posts - obviously we shouldn't talk about porn, fetishes or particular kinks but general discussion about our identities, fears and experiences shouldn't hurt.


Also Eiko, you are wonderful - I wish there were more people out there like you. However your son ends up identifying, it's good to know that he will have a loving and supportive parent - and trust me, that makes a really big difference.

[Lethal Lullaby]

Originally Posted by pennydreadful

Hey, you're in good company - I was into yaoi before I started getting into yuri... I am an absolute yaoi fiend!!! Not as familiar with yuri, but maybe we could swap some suggestions? Do you like Strawberry Panic?

Heck yeah! I think it's so cute. Another one i liked was "Sasameki Koto"