What causes you anxiety?

[BubblyShell22]

Yep, I'm the same way when it comes to religion as well. Not a fan of it and never will be. Same goes for politics, and though these things don't cause me complete anxiety, they do make me uncomfortable as well.

[Metalwolf]

Originally Posted by pennydreadful

... all I can say is that it's a good thing Raph doesn't live in your apartment complex - the poor guy would be a nervous wreck!

I don't know if he'd be a complete nervous wreck since my apartment is in an uninfested block, but I know he'd be going off at the person who did happen to bring them in. From what I've heard, those things can be a royal pain to get rid of in a complex. I know when I thought someone had brought them in, I would look in the kitchen in the middle of the night with a flashlight to catch any early ones that did happen to make it to my apartment. Fortunately I never found any, but I've been lucky to be in a block with considerate neighbors.

Originally Posted by Netkeeper

Too much being told that I'm a slight against God simply by existing or that my "condition" isn't "natural", or that "God didn't make me this way" makes me anxious around many religious people.

That sounds like a Southern Church thing, I've never heard of anybody having that in the Northern Churches, at least in PA. They don't condone relationships or anything like that, but they've never went and told someone they were gross or whatever either. I think it's because they see it mainly as feelings that the person simply has, and that they are encouraged to practice sexual abstinence. Nobody ends up feeling upset over it or excited, and even then pretty much it's like a big 'Meh' or 'Yeah, so?' when someone announces they're gay (even the local gay population seems to be that way too.) Like I said, it's not because people are more tolerant, it's more like people don't seem to be as excitable over that kind of thing as Southerners. I'm wondering if it isn't due to the South having a bigger population of fundamentalists?

[pennydreadful]

Certain social situations make me anxious actually; mainly anything where I'm alone and there are groups of straight men around. I also really don't like to be in environments where lots of rowdy straight men and women are drinking.

That's totally not meant to come off as heterophobia, so I hope it doesn't offend anyone - I've been physically assaulted before for "looking like a dyke", so I'm a little gun-shy in those types of situations.

I used to have really really awful social anxiety in general, but I'm a lot better at managing it than I used to be.

So yeah, my sympathies to you Netkeeper and HayaMika!

[HayaMika]

Originally Posted by pennydreadful

Certain social situations make me anxious actually; mainly anything where I'm alone and there are groups of straight men around. I also really don't like to be in environments where lots of rowdy straight men and women are drinking.

That's totally not meant to come off as heterophobia, so I hope it doesn't offend anyone - I've been physically assaulted before for "looking like a dyke", so I'm a little gun-shy in those types of situations.

I used to have really really awful social anxiety in general, but I'm a lot better at managing it than I used to be.

So yeah, my sympathies to you Netkeeper and HayaMika!

It doesn't come off as heterophobic to me. And I'm sorry to hear that you have been assaulted... I really, really hate people who think that its ok to go after and harass someone just for who they are. It really pisses me off.

On that topic, I get nervous expressing my sexuality around people since its so much different than everyone else. This may be weird to say here but I am Asexual-Panromantic. I have people tell me that its wrong and I can't know I am this way unless I have actually tried it. Its just so hard to get people to understand that you don't have to be sexually active to show love towards another person but not many people get that so it makes me nervous to tell people about who I am in fear that they will push me off as weird or assume that I am sex-repulsed (which is NOT the case) and unloving.

Another problem is that there are people out there dumb enough to ask me if I reproduce like a plant and while they are right, Asexual does mean that in Biology it does not mean the same thing as a sexuality... And last time I checked humans DO NOT reproduce like plants...

[Prowler]

Originally Posted by pennydreadful

Certain social situations make me anxious actually; mainly anything where I'm alone and there are groups of straight men around. I also really don't like to be in environments where lots of rowdy straight men and women are drinking.

That's totally not meant to come off as heterophobia, so I hope it doesn't offend anyone - I've been physically assaulted before for "looking like a dyke", so I'm a little gun-shy in those types of situations.

I used to have really really awful social anxiety in general, but I'm a lot better at managing it than I used to be.

So yeah, my sympathies to you Netkeeper and HayaMika!

Damn. That must have been pretty traumatic.

I have no idea what it's like to be discriminated, but I can imagine how hard it can be.

Many people still look down upon homosexuality, from what I notice. Me and most of the people I hang out with don't have anything against them, but I've met others who go as far as claiming they'd disown a son if he turned out gay. And those weren't old people but people in their 20s. Kinda sad, actually.

[Dirty Blond]

That whatever looks you have is DECLINING daily. Your SMV is decreasing by virtue of you breathing. You don't have a whole lifetime to date. You have up until your late 20s. The peak of your looks isn't normally distributed halfway, around 40yo. You peak around 18. By 35, you're GARBAGE but still have like 45 years left to witness your skyrocketting decline. 45 years left of EXISTENCE, paying taxes, balding, working, losing appeal.

[Katie]

Originally Posted by Metalwolf

I don't know if he'd be a complete nervous wreck since my apartment is in an uninfested block, but I know he'd be going off at the person who did happen to bring them in. From what I've heard, those things can be a royal pain to get rid of in a complex. I know when I thought someone had brought them in, I would look in the kitchen in the middle of the night with a flashlight to catch any early ones that did happen to make it to my apartment. Fortunately I never found any, but I've been lucky to be in a block with considerate neighbors.

That sounds like a Southern Church thing, I've never heard of anybody having that in the Northern Churches, at least in PA. They don't condone relationships or anything like that, but they've never went and told someone they were gross or whatever either. I think it's because they see it mainly as feelings that the person simply has, and that they are encouraged to practice sexual abstinence. Nobody ends up feeling upset over it or excited, and even then pretty much it's like a big 'Meh' or 'Yeah, so?' when someone announces they're gay (even the local gay population seems to be that way too.) Like I said, it's not because people are more tolerant, it's more like people don't seem to be as excitable over that kind of thing as Southerners. I'm wondering if it isn't due to the South having a bigger population of fundamentalists?

Way to generalize about a whole population. I'm from Alabama. Born and raised. And I am a churchgoer. I've never heard anyone call anyone gross or an abomination because of their sexual orientation.

If anything hits a fundamentalist (of any area) vs. Mainstream issue. I'm in a mainstream denomination. We welcome everyone to our services and if you are a good and honest person, no one cares what you do otherwise.

[Metalwolf]

Originally Posted by Katie

Way to generalize about a whole population. I'm from Alabama. Born and raised. And I am a churchgoer. I've never heard anyone call anyone gross or an abomination because of their sexual orientation.

If anything hits a fundamentalist (of any area) vs. Mainstream issue. I'm in a mainstream denomination. We welcome everyone to our services and if you are a good and honest person, no one cares what you do otherwise.

Sorry if I did come off as that, it was sort of a quick knee jerk post trying to get across the point that not all churches are like that, as often right after the subjects of homosexuality and religion come up, the one right after that often is how Christians suck and are nothing but bigots. I've seen that happen a lot on other forums, and even me mentioning that I'm 'bi' even though I don't do the 'bi' part for Christian reasons, fails to stop folks. Not that I'm saying folks would do that here, but I've seen it on other forums and it's always a perpetual anxiety of mine.

[pennydreadful]

Thanks for the kind words Prowler and Mika!

Originally Posted by HayaMika

On that topic, I get nervous expressing my sexuality around people since its so much different than everyone else. This may be weird to say here but I am Asexual-Panromantic. I have people tell me that its wrong and I can't know I am this way unless I have actually tried it. Its just so hard to get people to understand that you don't have to be sexually active to show love towards another person but not many people get that so it makes me nervous to tell people about who I am in fear that they will push me off as weird or assume that I am sex-repulsed (which is NOT the case) and unloving.

Another problem is that there are people out there dumb enough to ask me if I reproduce like a plant and while they are right, Asexual does mean that in Biology it does not mean the same thing as a sexuality... And last time I checked humans DO NOT reproduce like plants...

Oh hey Mika, you shouldn't be nervous about being different. Look, if it makes you feel any better, I fit into one of the more unusual orientations myself, and struggled with it for a while - but hey, I'm happy with who I am now and wouldn't give it up for anything.

(A bit about my orientation spoilered so nobody has to read my off-topicness):

Spoiler:

I identify as queer, because it sums up my orientation, gender identity and socio-political leanings quite comfortably... and because it's less of a mouthful than saying "I'm a female-bodied feminist bisexual person who's not really bi because I'm attracted to people outside of the "male" and "female" gender identities, and who uses both male and female pronouns to describe myself because sometimes I feel male, sometimes I feel female and sometimes I don't feel like either, and is not always gender-conforming."

Add into that the fact that I'm in an open relationship, which also weirds some people out (as they automatically make a lot of assumptions like you're gross, or a swinger, or you're available to absolutely anybody, or that there's something wrong with you if you're not monogamous and omg you're contributing to bad bi stereotypes etc etc), and the fact that my partner is a gender-conforming cis-male even though gender-conforming cis-men are actually the gender group that I'm least attracted to generally (with one kink exception which I won't go into), and you begin to see how I can feel like a bit of an outsider within the GLBT community as well as the straight community!

Anyway, I struggled for a while with my identity as I just didn't feel like I fit anywhere, and it was kind of lonely and confusing... I was like, "Am I a failed lesbian? Why do I not feel like a girl sometimes? Am I bi? I'm not pan because I am attracted to specific genders. What's wrong with me? I have to pick a side, I have to belong to a group, I'm too much of a freak to fit into the straight or gay communities and no woman will ever want me because lesbian women won't touch me and I'm too dykey for a lot of bi girls so I might as well just give up on having any of these feelings and just be straight".



Behold, all the hangups that I had! Needless to say, I've put all that ish behind me - I'm queer and proud.



But please don't be nervous about however you identify - and that goes for everyone out there. Whatever your orientation, you live your life and love yourself for who you are. And if anybody here ever wants to chat about this kind of thing - my ear is open, if you care to use it!

[Netkeeper]

Originally Posted by Metalwolf

That sounds like a Southern Church thing, I've never heard of anybody having that in the Northern Churches, at least in PA. They don't condone relationships or anything like that, but they've never went and told someone they were gross or whatever either. I think it's because they see it mainly as feelings that the person simply has, and that they are encouraged to practice sexual abstinence. Nobody ends up feeling upset over it or excited, and even then pretty much it's like a big 'Meh' or 'Yeah, so?' when someone announces they're gay (even the local gay population seems to be that way too.) Like I said, it's not because people are more tolerant, it's more like people don't seem to be as excitable over that kind of thing as Southerners. I'm wondering if it isn't due to the South having a bigger population of fundamentalists?

I wouldn't know about that sort of thing since I've never been any further east than where I currently live in Texas, but it's possible since I've been around those type of people my whole life. Luckily my parents weren't like that, but other family members were.

And on that note I just wanted to say that while encouraging abstinence is fine if coupled with actual legitimate sex education, the fact that schools teach abstinence INSTEAD OF legitimate sex education is such a huge, huge problem and I hate it. Not saying that's what you're talking about, but it's a related subject.

Originally Posted by pennydreadful

That's totally not meant to come off as heterophobia, so I hope it doesn't offend anyone - I've been physically assaulted before for "looking like a dyke", so I'm a little gun-shy in those types of situations.

Don't worry about it. Heteros aren't oppressed, they can take it. Your emotions are justified and don't let anyone let you think otherwise.

Also some LGBT talk for you under the spoiler.

Spoiler:

Since identity was brought up I'd like to state for the record that my sexuality is more completely described as homosexual polyamorous, but seeing as I'm single at the moment and not particularly looking that part isn't too relevant. Not that I'd say no to a dude or two that'd be interested, if I think we'd be a good match. I'd give it a try. But homosexual doesn't always describe me too perfectly either, because I've considered a few non-binary trans people and one of my exes is non-binary and adorably androgynous.

My main hangups don't lie with gender, but with sexuality, honestly -- I've had bisexual guys approach me but I'd get real uncomfortable when it was obvious they preferred women, since it made me feel like they were only lusting after me because of my feminine appearance/mannerisms. I'm still actively trying to work on it, but I've had a ******** of issues about my body and masculinity, and hearing stuff like "oh are you a twink? You look and sound so girly" doesn't really help. I mean, I guess it's flattering that they find it cute? But I worry that they'd expect me to crossdress or something that'd make me incredibly uneasy. That's actually a large part of why I don't classify myself as "looking", because I don't want bi guys hitting on me in that way.

[pennydreadful]

Hey Mika and Net (and any other GLBT, QUILTBAG, poly, pan, non-normative or otherwise minority sexuality or gender groups) - I made a thread for us so we can talk about stuff like this... I'm really enjoying the discussion but I was feeling bad for derailing the OP's thread.

http://forums.thetechnodrome.com/sho...12#post1293112

[Katie]

Originally Posted by Metalwolf

Sorry if I did come off as that, it was sort of a quick knee jerk post trying to get across the point that not all churches are like that, as often right after the subjects of homosexuality and religion come up, the one right after that often is how Christians suck and are nothing but bigots. I've seen that happen a lot on other forums, and even me mentioning that I'm 'bi' even though I don't do the 'bi' part for Christian reasons, fails to stop folks. Not that I'm saying folks would do that here, but I've seen it on other forums and it's always a perpetual anxiety of mine.

A lot of Christians forget the part where only God can judge and that we're supposed to do unto others as you'd have done to you. A lot of people who say Christians suck only have experience with "christians" who think they are God's jury and that nothing could possibly be right outside of the Bible.

(I have to stop here and explain that I do not belive the bible is literal truth and am quite fond of science and my denomination is cool with that)

Don't be ashamed to be Bi and Christian and don't be afraid to explore what you need to explore. The way I figure, God knows better than man and if He allowed all sorts of orientations to evolve in folks, why should I or anyone judge?

My only exception to this is when someone's sexual attraction is to kids or those who are mentally unable to consent. Whatever else, as long as its consenting adults, I say go for it. God loves everyone. No one is going to Hell for loving someone who loves them back.

[Kanon]

What causes me anxiety:
- When my beloved Cat acts strange and I don´t know if he is ill or something else
- stage fright
- really big spiders
- Jelly fish (I can´t stand touching them!!!!!wobbling creatures of hell!)
- The fear when you made a decission and you think that it might have been the wrong one

[blindturtle02]

Originally Posted by Metalwolf

Roaches. Not that I have them, but that some lawbreaking doofus will bring them. I live in an apartment complex that is spread out over several buildings, and sometimes we get a family moving in that 'insists' on having extra people move in (even if it's breaking the lease, and it's most often done covertly.) Well, in one building one tenet family did that, and these extra people (turns out they were another family) brought roaches with them. Management has been having a heck of a time getting rid of these things, because as soon as they treat one apartment in that building, the roaches move to another one in that block. I don't know if they have finally gotten rid of them (I hope so) but it's just a pain that some people insist on breaking the rules, and then other people end up having to suffer for it.

Oh God, yes. I hate them. They make me very anxious
. Hope we don't have to see Cockroach Terminator again for a bit in TMNT btw. haha

Failure is another big one. Money too, of course.

[pennydreadful]

Spiders. Definitely spiders. I can't even look at photos of them without squealing. If I'm in a room and I see one, I have to demand someone come and kill it, and I refuse to leave the room/turn my back on it to go get help because what if I go back and I can't find it again and then at night it'll come creeping out to crawl on my face... YUG!

Also swimming in the ocean and being in swimming pools alone make me anxious... ever since childhood, I've had this ridonkulous fear that if I'm in a swimming pool alone and I turn my back, piranhas are going to swim out of the pool filter. I know it's absurd but damned if I can break the habit of nervously glancing back over my shoulder! And with the ocean, I get nervous because I can't see what's under me and oh god what if something touches my foot?!

[Metalwolf]

Originally Posted by blindturtle02

Oh God, yes. I hate them. They make me very anxious
. Hope we don't have to see Cockroach Terminator again for a bit in TMNT btw. haha

You'd hate Japan then, what I've read is that roaches can be very bad there at times, depending on the weather and where you live.

I'd be surprised if we did see him (her?) as I think it was likely a true one shot.
But yeah, it creeped me out also, just imagine having that thing mad at you! The only other time I've ever seen roaches featured in a big way was in Duke Nukem: Manhattan Project, where one of the levels had you go into the sewers and abandoned subways of New York and fight mutants that a mad scientist was creating. One of these mutant types were cockroaches. The worst things about these things was that there were egg cases everywhere, so you know they were at the point they were multiplying.

I think the other anxiety that I have (shared with Kanon) is my cat getting sick. Sometimes I worry about her accidentally ingesting a piece of plastic or rug fibers (she loves to pick at the rug for some reason when she's upset) and getting an intestinal blockage. I wish could pull up the rug, but since it's a rental, I can't do that.