Sexuality and gender identity discussion

[pennydreadful]

Thought that there should be a thread for this where like-minded folks can talk about themselves, their feelings and associated things to do with these topics in a friendly space.

This isn't meant to be a thread for bashing anyone, regardless of their sexuality or gender identity, so let's all keep it friendly.

Originally Posted by Netkeeper

Since identity was brought up I'd like to state for the record that my sexuality is more completely described as homosexual polyamorous, but seeing as I'm single at the moment and not particularly looking that part isn't too relevant. Not that I'd say no to a dude or two that'd be interested, if I think we'd be a good match. I'd give it a try. But homosexual doesn't always describe me too perfectly either, because I've considered a few non-binary trans people and one of my exes is non-binary and adorably androgynous.

My main hangups don't lie with gender, but with sexuality, honestly -- I've had bisexual guys approach me but I'd get real uncomfortable when it was obvious they preferred women, since it made me feel like they were only lusting after me because of my feminine appearance/mannerisms. I'm still actively trying to work on it, but I've had a ******** of issues about my body and masculinity, and hearing stuff like "oh are you a twink? You look and sound so girly" doesn't really help. I mean, I guess it's flattering that they find it cute? But I worry that they'd expect me to crossdress or something that'd make me incredibly uneasy. That's actually a large part of why I don't classify myself as "looking", because I don't want bi guys hitting on me in that way.[/SPOILER]

In response to your last post Net, I do understand how you feel - both gay and straight people a lot of the time fear that bi men and women are always going to leave them for the gender that they're not getting. Nobody ever wants to play with us.

I mean, I'm actually more attracted to butch and androgynous women than femmes, and again, due to my orientation, they're the type that are least likely to want anything to do with me. But that doesn't mean that I want them to be men, because again, gender-conforming cis-men are definitely not my preferred type. (I was surprised that I did end up with the partner that I did, because I had never pictured myself as being in a relationship with a man... I view it more as, I'd be with my partner regardless of their gender).

Whoops, I'd better wrap this up as I'm just about to go out for a family dinner - but yeah, I do understand how you feel Net but you may find a lovely guy who just happens to be bi.