The New Café

[Voltron]

When I stalk women, I at least have the courtesy to tell them what I've laced their gifts with.

[Storm Wolf]

Originally Posted by Katie

I learned something once that totally changed how I related to guys. Guys think in straight lines (ie, you say exactly what you mean most of the time) and girls think in circles (meaning we are always trying to interpret the "betwen the lines" meanings of what is said and done.)

You think "big deal...I just talked to you. Now I'm eating and hanging out with family. no big deal...nothing's changed." She thinks: "CRAP. I'm not there to remind him why he likes me so his feelings for me might be changing and that probably explains why family takes precedence...mush mush hormonal meltdown...."

Sound about right?

Oh lord can I really relate to that....especially of late!

I'm not usually an extremely emotional lady myself, but I'm a worrier and an constant interpreter. Lately, due to whatever is going on with me, I'm way oversensitive about every little thing!

I feel really lucky tho....Even tho KROW and I have are arguments and drama, he's very good about understanding the way that I think. I know that many of the arguments that we have are just me being totally nuts over something ridiculous. Truth is, I don't actually understand what I'm doing until after I've done it and feel like a complete ass for it.

Oh a lot of things contribute to this....like Katie said men are linear thinkers and girls just aren't. I spend hours just going over and over all the worries/stresses.....so much that I can't sleep well at night. I'm sure that just makes me a flat out b*tch the next day or so.

KROW is so laid back that I'm just sure men don't stress or worry....EVER! I think that bothers me, because if he's not worried... Something HAS to be wrong! (weather this is true or not is anyone's guess, but it's just the way I think sometimes.)

Peanut....if this isn't an everyday occurrence I'd say just try to shrug it off. If she's anything like me, she will get over her temporary insanity and realize that you put up with a lot of crap on her behalf and still are a good guy to her. I ALWAYS realize that about KROW in the end....weather he knows/realizes it.

[Raven]

Originally Posted by Voltron

When I stalk women, I at least have the courtesy to tell them what I've laced their gifts with.

Ive found that to also be the best method.....


Wait what?

[Mecha Cow]

So my friend's grandfather just died. I have no idea where he is or how to reach him. What the f*ck do I do? Should I even do anything?

[Cure]

Originally Posted by Mecha Cow

So my friend's grandfather just died. I have no idea where he is or how to reach him. What the f*ck do I do? Should I even do anything?

Well, how did you find out if it wasn't from your friend? If it was a mutual friend, ask them to help get in contact with your other friend.

[Mecha Cow]

I heard it from his roommate. Anyway, he went out on his own and came back eventually. He seemed fine though it's probably his way of coping. He knew his grandfather was going to die soon so it wasn't a huge shock, but still. I told him to let me know if he needs anything; I guess that's all I can do.

[Spitfire]

One of my best friends just died of liver cancer. With that said if I am on here please excuse me if I have a shorter fuse then usual.

[SassyGal]

I'm so sorry to hear that, Spitfire. My thoughts are with you.

[Evenstar227]

Originally Posted by Ra

Okay. My life is a little bit of a train wreck right now. I think I've messed up a friendship, for one, but I'm waiting for a bit before I whine about it.

But for now... I've recently had another stalker.

Yes. I've had one in the past (2007) that I managed to pick up from cosplaying, and now I've got another one in my class. You know the stereotype of the greasy fanboy who lacks even the most basic social skills? Well, take that and add a stalker element to it.

I've been going to TAFE for about a month now. My classes are great, I've adjusted from going to an all-girl's school to an all-male environment, and I'm really riding the wave with what I'm learning. Heck, in our recent weapons assignment, I've received full marks. Unfortunately, ever since week one, there has been this particular fellow who had been watching me from a far. I didn't really like it, but hey, I just naively shook the feeling off as paranoia... well, that changed when he first spoke to me.

Five minutes of talking later and it was clear that he was thinking I was more than just a stranger to him. He was trying to get close to me and keep on talking about whatever floated into his mind, clearly grasping to make this the longest conversation he ever had with anyone. Heck, he kept on droning on when class started. Managed to give him later by darting into the women's restroom, having a gut feeling that this wouldn't be the last time I saw this guy. He then started popping up EVERYWHERE. When I was eating, when I was going to the train, when I was trying to grab tickets for a movie, leaning over my shoulder eating while I was trying to play multiplayer on my DS... You know. The usual things stalkers do when they don't know where you live. Then the guy started touching my goddamn hair as if I was his girlfriend or something. That was definitely the final straw. I told him bluntly that I was uncomfortable and to back off. He backed off... for, what, just the rest of the day?

Being the smart young child I am, I told a few friends. If things got any worse, I was prepared to go to a teacher. I've made different routes to two different train stations in case he follows me, and I've been sure to try and leave class before or after he does. Lately he hasn't done anything much, which is good. I've also seen him hanging around a few other girls who I've befriended in my short time here.

If you are wondering how crazy this guy is, let me tell you a story that I put up on some other forums.



Long story short? I've got a stalker who is a psycho.

The cake story still makes me laugh though.

In a "oh god WTF" way...

Crikey, Ra, sounds like you've got a winner! Dunno if this is still an issue two weeks or so later, but it looks like your instincts are leading you well. I'd say something to a teacher even if it doesn't escalate any further; the next time he does something could be too late. Better safe than sorry! Hope it ceases to be a problem for you soon, and that life improves in general for you. Hang in there chica! You're made of tough stuff. You can do it.

I've got some exciting developments: I'm moving to Hawai'i! Ok, it's not 100% official yet, but it's about 90%. As long as I can take care of stuff such as getting out of my apartment lease, storing my car, etc etc etc. This comes at a good time (aside from the fact that I just renewed my lease >.<); things at work have been getting unbearable, and I've been feeling overwhelmed by all my afterwork activities (teaching dance class once a week, aerobics twice a week, just started a belly dance class once a week, volunteering a couple places once a month each, and singing at my church about every other weekend). I know I could've just said no to a few activities, but I did enjoy them and I knew I was helping out a lot. Hard to let people down.

So, I should know for sure if I'm going in the next two weeks or so. Wish me luck!!

[Mecha Cow]

I'm sorry to hear about your friend, Spitfire.

[ThirdMarioBro]

I'm so sorry about your friend Spit. I really am.

Originally Posted by Evenstar227

I'm moving to Hawai'i!

Enjoy the cost of living out there. Though seriously, I bet it's worth it.

[Evenstar227]

Originally Posted by ThirdMarioBro

Enjoy the cost of living out there. Though seriously, I bet it's worth it.

I'll be living with my brother rent-free, so that'll help. Otherwise I probably couldn't afford it...

[SassyGal]

Good luck with the move Evenstar!! I will cross my fingers for you!

[Spitfire]

Thank you guys I really appreciate it. His services are tomorrow at 1. It's gonna be weird I still don't believe it. Some part of me hopes it's just a sick joke they decided to play. Which wouldn't surprise me because he has two brothers who he was close to. One I talked to on the phone and he doesn't sound at all bothered by it and the other got married like 3 days after my friend died. The marriage wasn't planned either, totally spur of the moment. If there's any reason to cancel a wedding it's for that so I see that as rather cold.

Either way I have to face the facts at some point even if I'd wish something other wise.

[GK Punk]

I'm really sorry to hear that spit.

[Ra]

I'm very sorry to hear about your friend Spit. If you want to talk or anything, we're here for you.

[Ginny]

Spitfire, I'm sorry I didn't post my condolences before now, you have been in my prayers.

My mom is in the hospital, for the second time in less than a month. I should be used to this by now, my mom is a severe diabetic with a left leg below knee amputation, a permanent pacemaker, and she has been in cardiac arrest and on a ventilator 11 times in the past six years. Mom seems to go in about every six months or so, she actually calls it her "six month clean-up". I'm just so worried. My mom has always been so feisty and strong, and that is what has pulled her through the 11 times. Since her last stay and now with this one, she just seems so...weak I guess. Please keep my mom in your prayers.

Thank you!

UPDATE: Mom is feeling better and I'm hoping she'll get to go home early next week! I probably over-freaked worrying about her, but other than some random cousins, she's all the family I have.

UPDATE #2: I did not over-freak. Friday night my mom couldn't breathe. They moved her to ICU and put her on a BIPAP to force Oxygen into her lungs. I didn't think she was going to make it. She is still in ICU.

[Tinuvielsdreams]

I feel incredibly frustrated and a little hopeless
I haven't had a job in a few months months and I am sure I don't have to tell anyone how stressful that is. I know a lot of people are in my position.

I had 3 job offers finally about two weeks ago. 2 were temp jobs and one was a full time server position. For stability sake I accepted the server position.

Yesterday was my first day and I asked the owner if she wanted my ID and when I should do the paperwork. She tells me she isn't sure if she is keeping me yet.
I just wanted to scream honestly... She wants me to come in again tomorrow and keep shadowing this one server while she decides if I am going to be hired after all.

I don't know what I can do but I have to find a way to get her to really want to keep me tomorrow or I am going to jobless again.

[Machias Banshee]

Things will work out for you soon, Tin. I just got contacted by the job that I've been trying to get for about a Year, and I've finally gotten in. There was a lot of waiting, a lot of agonizing and frustration, depression, a few tears.... I even gave up and went onto a job I ended up hating.

It took me 11 months. But I got contacted today, and tomorrow I give my notice at the call center. It's going to take a while, hun, but you Will find something that you enjoy doing.

Anything good is worth waiting for, no matter how frustrating it can be at times...

[Storm Wolf]

Ginny I am sorry for the illness and tough times that you and your mother are going trough.


Ok....So in February 2008 I moved out into my own apartment (hooray!) I was so happy! It was on the third floor (blech) but I have two bedrooms and the whole top half of the house is mine...plus I am allowed pets. Which is a BIG plus. I wouldn't go ANYwhere without my Winter. Alls good and well....right?

No....otherwise I wouldn't be in here.

Well...last summer the older lady in apartment 1 decided it would be cool with me if she stole my debit card out of my mail box and took some money. She also thought it would be completely OK with me that after she took $200 that she could 'Share' my debit card with her drug dealer. How do I know this? Well she called the cops and fessed up to all of it!

I got my money back eventually, but now it's incredibly hard for me to keep anything in my bank account, partially due to what she did.
The only thing she got was a years probation! What a load! So now she goes around terrorizing the other girls and myself who live in the house.

She goes through our mail, steals our laundry supplies and smokes inside the building and laundry room (I've had to re-wash laundry due to this!) On top of it she is constantly telling the landlord that my dog is barking, howling and crying upstairs ( I know she isn't....she's a quite girl) I already had to "Re-home" Bomber due to her and I am NOT getting rid of Winter if she keeps this up.

Today I was sitting on the front step with my dog (unleashed) enjoying the beautiful weather (mind you I was in the front yard of MY dwelling) When she comes out on the porch (which makes me uncomfortable due to...well...you know) and stands there...waiting. Finally her friend shows up and she says, loudly "Watch out for that dog, it isn't on a leash. It's against the law to walk a dog without one, I don't know WHY she thinks she can!"

This really ticked me off to no end. My dog has done nothing. She's not got a mean bone in her entire body and loves everyone! She always sits quietly on the step and observes passer-bys. She is always very obedient when off lead. I ALWAYS leash my dog when I am not in my yard due to law and safety reasons. I wanted to turn and yell "So it's illegal to sit in my own front yard with my unleashed dog, but it's perfectly legal to use and sell drugs from your apartment....correct?"

Did I mention that apartments 2-5 have a locked back entrance? I have access to both the front and back doors....she only has the front. Why in the blue hell does she have a KEY to MY entrance in the back? She comes in at odd hours and bangs on our doors all strung out on...whatever...and accuses us of making noise! WTF?!

The landlord doesn't due a damn thing! In fact....he just put new flooring in her apartment...yet refuses to fix the leak in my kitchen ceiling!

I'm telling ya....this crap has got me on edge. I'm so paranoid when I got get my mail...I never go anywhere without my dog because I'm terrified that she will start a confrontation with me. Also...I know this sounds racist, but I swear I'm not...She's black...and I'm always afraid she will sick her son and his friends on me.

I've thought a lot lately about putting ferret poo in her mailbox or something. Just to be a real a**.

I want to move, but at the time cannot afford to, plus there just aren't very many places that accept pets. Does anyone know if there is anything I can do about this?

P.S. Sorry it's so long!