The New Café

[TheCanadiandrome]

Originally Posted by mysterycolor

hey everyone, i know i have been MIA recently but i am super busy getting ready for baby i am now 25 weeks and we are having a little girl! I hope you are all well. xoxo

thoughts, prayers, much love and respect and peace! all the best

[Machias Banshee]

Yay, Drome Baby!

Congratulations!!

[Katie]

Originally Posted by Lethal Lullaby

I need some real advice about this.
How do I explained to my boyfriend that he kind of needs to give me space once in a while? (...)
So any help would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.

Has he ever been diagnosed as beingh autistic himself? Some of those things you discuss sound slightly on the spectrumand if he has siblings on the spectrum its not too far fetched that he'd also be on.

Otherwise sounds like there are a lot of mental issues there. Not sure of age, but emotional swings signal early signs of a lot of mental health issues like bipolar disorder and schizophrenia. Might want to encourage psychiatric help.

If none of that is an option, you really need to get out. Staying with someone because you don't want to hurt them isn't good for anyone. He needs to get help and if he can't or won't you need to protect yourself and get out.

Trust me. I dated a guy who was schizophrenic and undiagnosed. I loved him and he was a nice guy, but he refused help and was going deeper into paranoia. I hate to think what it would be like if I stayed in that relationship. I'd likely be dead with how he was. Not even kidding.

[Hamato Yoshi]

35 yrs ago today : Deer Hunter cleans house at the Oscars and a new star was born , Chris Walken......

[Lethal Lullaby]

Originally Posted by Katie

Has he ever been diagnosed as beingh autistic himself? Some of those things you discuss sound slightly on the spectrumand if he has siblings on the spectrum its not too far fetched that he'd also be on.

Otherwise sounds like there are a lot of mental issues there. Not sure of age, but emotional swings signal early signs of a lot of mental health issues like bipolar disorder and schizophrenia. Might want to encourage psychiatric help.

If none of that is an option, you really need to get out. Staying with someone because you don't want to hurt them isn't good for anyone. He needs to get help and if he can't or won't you need to protect yourself and get out.

Trust me. I dated a guy who was schizophrenic and undiagnosed. I loved him and he was a nice guy, but he refused help and was going deeper into paranoia. I hate to think what it would be like if I stayed in that relationship. I'd likely be dead with how he was. Not even kidding.

Originally Posted by BubblyShell22

Well, my advice would be just to try and talk to him gently about it. Let him know that you realize he's having problems with his family, but that you deserve your space, too. Ask him if he can find something else to do besides come over all of the time. If he gets upset about what you say, then just apologize and explain that you're being honest with him. Sometimes it helps to be honest. My BF knows that I'm the type to want my own space which is why he respects that and why we don't see each other all of the time. Yeah, it's unconventional, but it works for us and has worked for ten years. So I'm not about to change anything. Just talk to your BF and let him know how you feel. Honesty is the best policy.

Thanks.. I might try to tell him, but idk... He tends to really get offensive. The other day he told me that he feels like I don't listen to him and he says that he listens to me and that kind of pissed me off. I don't really talk to him much. He usually does most of the talking. And I told him that sometimes when he's talking he gets repetitive and I just stop listening. Not to mention that I'm not so great at paying attention (Even when I'm reading something my mind will start to wander as I'm reading the words and I would have to reread, because I didn't understand it.) And when he gets mad or upset about something it takes so much to freaking (sorry) make him happy again. He got upset one time about our friend. He thought that she was going to take me from him, because she likes to cuddle to me a lot and she's bi (kind of on the lesbian side) So I told him that she's not going to do that and not to worry about it... But he still seemed bothered. And I realized something. Before with my past boyfriends whenever I saw them it actually brought a smile to my face, but now with him I feel like most of the time I gotta force the smile. I also noticed (so has my mom and brother) that when we're talking, or when HE'S talking, when I try to say something he talks over me or interupts me so I don't really get a chance to finish what I'm saying... And I don't really know anymore. I don't see our relationship working out in the long run... I don't want to end it, because I don't want to hurt him and I feel like he's going to try off himself over it. It's just all so stressful... It's starting to hurt my head. (sorry to vent like this...)

Edit: I mean I really try to listen to him, but most of the time he's talking to me about something he's either complaining about someone, or it sounds to me like bragging about his talents. Oh and he then tried to say he has nothing to look forward to in life when he knows how to sew really well, he knows a lot (more then I do), he can draw pretty good, he can write (that's what he told me) etc..
I also noticed that I tend to forgive too easily... Like with one of my ex's i had a grudge against him, but now we're cool with each other, and I've had other relationships/ friends where it's happened

[BubblyShell22]

I understand you don't want to hurt him, LL, but if you don't see the relationship lasting, why torture yourself with it? If you don't see yourself having a future with him, it's time to end it, especially if he's treating you this way and you don't feel the same way as you did before when you first started dating him. Continuing to go down this road will be worse for you, and you deserve better. Maybe the best thing you can do is just end it with him and take some time for yourself. Not everyone has to be in a relationship, and it's better for you to be with someone who's going to treat you right and make you feel like you love them rather than being with someone who pretty much just treats you like sh*t and makes you feel that you aren't happy to be around them.

This is just my advice. Take with it what you will.

[Whatswiththeheadbands?]

Oh man, 21 posts in a day, including a giant conversation with tmntmikey23.

I think i need a break from this site for a while.

[Katie]

Originally Posted by Lethal Lullaby

Thanks.. I might try to tell him, but idk... He tends to really get offensive. The other day he told me that he feels like I don't listen to him and he says that he listens to me and that kind of pissed me off. I don't really talk to him much. He usually does most of the talking. And I told him that sometimes when he's talking he gets repetitive and I just stop listening. Not to mention that I'm not so great at paying attention (Even when I'm reading something my mind will start to wander as I'm reading the words and I would have to reread, because I didn't understand it.) And when he gets mad or upset about something it takes so much to freaking (sorry) make him happy again. He got upset one time about our friend. He thought that she was going to take me from him, because she likes to cuddle to me a lot and she's bi (kind of on the lesbian side) So I told him that she's not going to do that and not to worry about it... But he still seemed bothered. And I realized something. Before with my past boyfriends whenever I saw them it actually brought a smile to my face, but now with him I feel like most of the time I gotta force the smile. I also noticed (so has my mom and brother) that when we're talking, or when HE'S talking, when I try to say something he talks over me or interupts me so I don't really get a chance to finish what I'm saying... And I don't really know anymore. I don't see our relationship working out in the long run... I don't want to end it, because I don't want to hurt him and I feel like he's going to try off himself over it. It's just all so stressful... It's starting to hurt my head. (sorry to vent like this...)

Edit: I mean I really try to listen to him, but most of the time he's talking to me about something he's either complaining about someone, or it sounds to me like bragging about his talents. Oh and he then tried to say he has nothing to look forward to in life when he knows how to sew really well, he knows a lot (more then I do), he can draw pretty good, he can write (that's what he told me) etc..
I also noticed that I tend to forgive too easily... Like with one of my ex's i had a grudge against him, but now we're cool with each other, and I've had other relationships/ friends where it's happened

Sounds like he's pretty controlling. Get out. Really. This relationship is toxic.

[snake]

Originally Posted by whatswiththeheadbands?

Oh man, 21 posts in a day, including a giant conversation with tmntmikey23.

I think i need a break from this site for a while.

Wasn't he banned?

[Candy Kappa]

I managed to find a pet store that could order a lid for my Fluval Fx5 and it wasn't a ludicrous price as I've seen online. Sadly though it won't be in the store until after Easter. Meaning the turtles will have to put up with the stink water a little longer.

[Lethal Lullaby]

Originally Posted by BubblyShell22

I understand you don't want to hurt him, LL, but if you don't see the relationship lasting, why torture yourself with it? If you don't see yourself having a future with him, it's time to end it, especially if he's treating you this way and you don't feel the same way as you did before when you first started dating him. Continuing to go down this road will be worse for you, and you deserve better. Maybe the best thing you can do is just end it with him and take some time for yourself. Not everyone has to be in a relationship, and it's better for you to be with someone who's going to treat you right and make you feel like you love them rather than being with someone who pretty much just treats you like sh*t and makes you feel that you aren't happy to be around them.

This is just my advice. Take with it what you will.

Originally Posted by Katie

Sounds like he's pretty controlling. Get out. Really. This relationship is toxic.

You know what? I do need to end this.

He's really starting to get on my nerves and I just don't like how he says that he isn't going to change the way he is just to make others happy and Everytime he says that I just want to punch him, but I know he's been through enough in his life that I don't. Seriously though..

And I don't get how he says that people need to keep their negative opinions to themselves or if they got something negative to say to say it to the person's face. Well how the heck? Especially after knowing that he has hurt himself many times before.

I mean he just talks so much s*** and I don't even know if he takes half of what he says seriously. I'm just about done with this. Edit: It's almost like he expects everyone else to change for him. Speaking of negative opinions, i find it 'interesgting' that he would question why some dude tried to punch him, when he had called that person, not to his face and, mind you, outloud, a f*****.

[TheCanadiandrome]

Originally Posted by snake

Wasn't he banned?

guess one can be unbanned

[BubblyShell22]

Yep, get out of that relationship, LL. You don't need someone like that in your life who keeps disrespecting not only you but other people. And if he tries to kill himself, then he needs to get help anyway.

[Whatswiththeheadbands?]

Originally Posted by snake

Wasn't he banned?

I thought he was as well, but i guess he has been pardoned.

[Whatswiththeheadbands?]

So i'm listening to some peaceful music on Spotify, then the advert comes on and i just hear blaring bagpipes, possibly the worst sound known to man.

I think i have a headache now because of that

[Katie]

Originally Posted by Lethal Lullaby

You know what? I do need to end this.

He's really starting to get on my nerves and I just don't like how he says that he isn't going to change the way he is just to make others happy and Everytime he says that I just want to punch him, but I know he's been through enough in his life that I don't. Seriously though..

And I don't get how he says that people need to keep their negative opinions to themselves or if they got something negative to say to say it to the person's face. Well how the heck? Especially after knowing that he has hurt himself many times before.

I mean he just talks so much s*** and I don't even know if he takes half of what he says seriously. I'm just about done with this. Edit: It's almost like he expects everyone else to change for him. Speaking of negative opinions, i find it 'interesgting' that he would question why some dude tried to punch him, when he had called that person, not to his face and, mind you, outloud, a f*****.

Good. And just remember someone who is controlling like that will say they will hurt themselves when you have the breakup talk. Just walk away. Its only another way of control....trying to guilt you into staying.

[Whatswiththeheadbands?]

So i'm planning a TMNT Fan Fiction based on the 2012 series.

It's my very first fan fiction ever, so i'm going to see how it goes.

[BubblyShell22]

Awesome. If you need help on that, feel free to PM me, Headbands. You can even share your idea in the TMNT Fan Works Discussion sub-forum if you want.

[Candy Kappa]

Soon I'll have a new lid for my aquarium filter, I'm getting beaten up by changing the tank trice in a week with just a bucket.

[TheBlueTurtle1]

Originally Posted by Candy Kappa

Soon I'll have a new lid for my aquarium filter, I'm getting beaten up by changing the tank trice in a week with just a bucket.

I have to do that with my fish pond in the garden, ehen it has not rained in a while goes very green and fills with pond weed