Singles nation: Why so many Americans are unmarried

[tmnt transformer]

Originally Posted by BubblyShell22

You shouldn't be afraid of that. Not everybody gets married, and that's okay. And sometimes standards change.

I am for several reasons... first being that I don't want to be lonely.. I've never really had many friends. second being that some of my favorite heroes found someone, so why not me...

[Powder]

I could see myself settling down with that special person but I don't believe in marriage. If she wants a ring or some symbol of the bond, sure, I could do that, but we're not going through the church or the state or anything like that, & you're leaving with what you came with, in the event of conflict. Neither I nor my money will be bound to anyone. Kids? No way.

[BubblyShell22]

Originally Posted by tmnt transformer

I am for several reasons... first being that I don't want to be lonely.. I've never really had many friends. second being that some of my favorite heroes found someone, so why not me...

See, I'm the opposite. I don't mind being alone and while I'm happy to be in a relationship right now, I never thought of it as something I just HAD to do. Wanting to be in a relationship just because you don't want to be alone is a poor reason for wanting something like that. You should want a relationship for other reasons like having something in common with somebody or because you find somebody who really identifies with you. Being alone is not a bad thing, and I hate how people seem to think that being in a relationship will somehow cure their loneliness. My sister had this idea, too, and it really hasn't worked for her as she's married to a guy who doesn't really care about her. So, I say stop with the whole, "I don't want to be alone!" excuse because that's a poor way of wanting to be in a relationship.

Originally Posted by Powder

I could see myself settling down with that special person but I don't believe in marriage. If she wants a ring or some symbol of the bond, sure, I could do that, but we're not going through the church or the state or anything like that, & you're leaving with what you came with, in the event of conflict. Neither I nor my money will be bound to anyone. Kids? No way.

Yep, same here. You don't have to be married to be committed to someone you love. I don't need a piece of paper or some piece of jewelry to bind me to someone I care about. And the best part about not being married is that if the relationship goes astray, all you have to do is break up with them with no legal ramifications like you would in a divorce. So, that's one of the big reasons I don't want it.

And, Katie, I get what you're saying, but my mom and dad have been married for a long time, and he turned out to be the biggest jerk in the universe. I always tell my mom that she should have lived with him first so she would have known what she was getting into, and she agrees with me on that point. But both are Catholic and in that religion, you don't live together before marriage, so there you go. I think the problem for the most part is not only the rushing into it, but also the fact that people tend to not live together before marriage, and you need to do that to see if you'll fit in with the person for the rest of your life. That's the way I look at it.

[Jephael]

I definitely consider myself more of the swinging bachelor persuasion. Had I been born 30-40 years sooner and in a different part of the country, I probably would've been an Austin Powers style hipster.

To be honest I have considered marriage in the past, but most girls I'm lucky enough to know just like me as a friend or at best a friendly acquaintance. I'd be fine with that if not for a certain part of my anatomy.

[Prowler]

It's pretty natural for people 25 and under to not be interested in getting married. I think most people are like that. My mother at 19-20 also claimed she'd never get married(her parents didn't get along very well...) and have kids, and yet here I am

I suppose I could see myself living with someone else later in life, but I simply cannot picture myself as a father. Just doesn't sound right. I know one should never say never, but I really doubt I'll have descendants.

[Jephael]

Originally Posted by Prowler

I suppose I could see myself living with someone else later in life, but I simply cannot picture myself as a father. Just doesn't sound right. I know one should never say never, but I really doubt I'll have descendants.

Do you have any nieces or nephew's though? I got one of each, so as long as they're around I'm content knowing that part of my family bloodline lives on... even if they don't have the same last name as me.

[Prowler]

Originally Posted by Jephael

Do you have any nieces or nephew's though? I got one of each, so as long as they're around I'm content knowing that part of my family bloodline lives on... even if they don't have the same last name as me.

No, I don't. I have an older brother who is 32 and he's not married or engaged. I don't know if he has a gf, though. But I'd probably have known that by now if he was in a long term relationship. Can't picture him with a wife and kids, tbh.

If i had kids it would be for simply wanting them. I don't care about "furthering my bloodline" or there being kids bearing my last name.

[BubblyShell22]

I have two step-nephews thanks to my sis being married. I have no desire to have kids because I know my dad would have nothing to do with them, so what's the point? I'm perfectly content without that because I probably wouldn't have the patience for kids anyway. I mean, if I accidentally got pregnant, that's one thing, but I'd probably want to abort it anyway. I wouldn't do it though without consulting my BF because he'd be the father, though he is open minded about women having the right to choose and such. It's just a matter of principle with me, but I'd make sure that wouldn't happen by either going on birth control or getting my tubes tied.

[NameGoesHere1066]

Also, one must take in consideration the emancipation of the female sex since the 2nd half of the 20th century. Women are getting more independent and no longer need men to support them like they did back in the 40s-50s

it's kind of a shame that to attain this Marriage in this country has gone down hill. I know that most divorces are initiated my the wife in a marriage and it has put many young men sour on the whole idea of marriage. Although in the case of my parents it was initiated my my father. It was a divorce my mother did not want since she very much loved my Dad. But my parents got married out of high school and my father fell out of love with my mom and fell in love with another woman (did not help the situation at all that is was a white woman). I think my parents were just too young and did not know who they were yet...at least with my dad case. My parents grew up next door to each other and my mother once said (while a little drunk) that she loved him from the time she was a kid. She denies ever being weak like that while sober but that always stuck with me, that some could fall out of love with someone. My father is still very happy in his new marriage, and is married to this very day. My mother, though she has been in a relationships here and there never got serious with another person. I don't know if she is just bitter on the whole marriage thing now if there is some part of her that is still holding a candle for my dad, but she has never shown any interest in remarrying. it almost makes me resent my father, that he found so much happiness with another woman and has such a good marriage with her and his children from that marriage. And he is not not shy about it either, the few times he and my mom have been in family function and they happen to be together, he is not shy about holding hands and kissing his new wife right in front of my mom.

My dad's a big 'ol bucket of buttercream cake frosting and hearts with his current wife. And it seems genuine, it does not seem like he is putting on an act "for the cameras" or maliciously rubbing his happiness in my mother face. He just loves, loves, loves his wife...I almost wish my mom would hook up with another guy and marry just to show him she can still have a happy marriage like him with another man...but you know, you can't force people to do certain things. I do wish my dad would be a little more aware of my mom's feelings though. Considering he broke off his marriage to her ( a marriage my mother really wanted to hang on to) to marry another woman he said he fell in love with. While married to my mom. This has always gotten me. It did not bother my dad that he was already married to another woman who he had children with, to break up the family structure to pursue happiness with another woman and start a family with her. I know my dad most likely would have been miserable if he had stayed with my mom while longing for this woman but...I don't know...I guess in the end he chose not to live with out what he really wanted. I guess that is just how things go sometimes...

I still believe in marriage even though my parents marriage did not work out.

[Storm Eagle]

Originally Posted by Prowler

If i had kids it would be for simply wanting them. I don't care about "furthering my bloodline" or there being kids bearing my last name.

Same here. My interest in having kids was shot to hell several years ago (thanks to a job I worked once). I have people tell me that it's an obligation to reproduce, and carry on a legacy. I haven't done anything majorly special with my life, so there's really no legacy to pass down. People think I'll make a really good father, but if there's no interest, then I don't want to do it because there's the chance that I'll just regret it and become one of those parents who wishes he didn't have kids, and might even end up telling his kids that.

I think the closest to having kids I can see myself, is having those of the canine and feline variety, and I've already got one of the latter. So there.

[Prowler]

Originally Posted by Storm Eagle

Same here. My interest in having kids was shot to hell several years ago (thanks to a job I worked once). I have people tell me that it's an obligation to reproduce, and carry on a legacy. I haven't done anything majorly special with my life, so there's really no legacy to pass down. People think I'll make a really good father, but if there's no interest, then I don't want to do it because there's the chance that I'll just regret it and become one of those parents who wishes he didn't have kids, and might even end up telling his kids that.

I think the closest to having kids I can see myself, is having those of the canine and feline variety, and I've already got one of the latter. So there.

Well, to be fair, that's mostly a way of people feeling the duty to propagate the species. Humans are wired to continue propagation of the species, after all. The thing is, in developed nations, it's harder for people to have kids nowadays due to obvious factors. Ironically it's actually people in undeveloped nations that are having tons of kids. Rationally speaking, one should not have several kids if they can't even financially support themselves.

[sdp]

So...what you're trying to say is that....R.I.P. married couples?

I mean we gotta keep the theme of the Current Events section. Let's change the name of the topic.

[TheCanadiandrome]

I've seen too much bs in my family to ever wanna get married and I hate kids so that's the other reason I stay single lol

[Storm Eagle]

Originally Posted by Prowler

Well, to be fair, that's mostly a way of people feeling the duty to propagate the species. Humans are wired to continue propagation of the species, after all. The thing is, in developed nations, it's harder for people to have kids nowadays due to obvious factors. Ironically it's actually people in undeveloped nations that are having tons of kids. Rationally speaking, one should not have several kids if they can't even financially support themselves.

Too bad not everybody is mentally stable enough to be a parent. I can see why people think I'd make a good father, but I'm just not up to it. Anyway, even if I did want kids, I'd have to find a woman brave enough to help me make that happen anyway.

[snake]

I don't mind marriage, but f*ck kids.

[Storm Eagle]

Originally Posted by snake

I don't mind marriage, but f*ck kids.

That's me in a nutshell, although I wouldn't go as far as to say "f*ck kids".

[TheCanadiandrome]

I shouldn't say I hate kids, I do love my friends 3 kids and my little cousins but just hate the idea of ever having kids

[BubblyShell22]

Yeah, same here. It depends on the kid, but I don't really see myself as a mother and I don't really have the patience for kids. I can tolerate my BF's niece and nephew, but that's about it.

[ssjup81]

I like kids a lot, hence my job and jumping at the chance to work in a nursery school, despite the lower pay, but ever since I learned and saw where babies came from, which terrified me, I vowed never to physically have them. I still feel this way. Ever since I was about 11 or 12 I decided that if I have kids someday, I would adopt and I'd want them before the age of 30. So yeah... lol

As for marriage...I've never been interested. Felt that way since I was a kid too, despite my parents being happily married.

[CyberCubed]

I think the problem is a lot of people marry after only knowing someone for like 2 years or so. I would definitely be with someone at least 5-10 years before ever choosing to marry. You have to know if you can live together and tolerate each other for 5+ years before that.

Then again my parents got married at the age of 25...and they're still together today nearly 30 years later so go figure.