What Grinds Your Gears? :)

[ProactiveMan]

Originally Posted by pennydreadful

I'd definitely bow to Proactive's knowledge of the Great Western Bogan, as I've never had the opportunity to view the GWB in its native habitat

Much the same but their voices aren't quite so nasal. Problem we have is that thanks to the recent mining boom, half our bogans are cashed up*, so the number of SS utes** on the road practically doubles every year. Boom's over now so many of them will plant their utes on front lawns across the state and return to the TABs*** from where they were spawned.

My dad's a bogan. His backyard is home to no less than four car bodies, he gets both his hair and beard cut with he same No 2 shaver, he wears double pluggers**** everywhere; to the shops; in his shed; on the roof of his house (no joke), and before he quit, he chose his t-shirts based on whether or not he could fit a full size pack of Winnie Reds***** in his breast pocket. One of the first sentences my youngest sister could string together was 'Two Export bottles****** and a packet of Winfield Red thanks mate'.

* Rich
** Mid-size V8 pick-up
*** Betting shops
**** Thongs (Flip-flops)
***** Cigarettes
****** Crappy local beer

[Leo656]

Guys.

It's late (over here).

Shut the f*ck up and one of you throw a boomerang already so I can go the f*ck to bed.

[MsMarvelDuckie]

Originally Posted by ProactiveMan

Much the same but their voices aren't quite so nasal. Problem we have is that thanks to the recent mining boom, half our bogans are cashed up*, so the number of SS utes** on the road practically doubles every year. Boom's over now so many of them will plant their utes on front lawns across the state and return to the TABs*** from where they were spawned.

My dad's a bogan. His backyard is home to no less than four car bodies, he gets both his hair and beard cut with he same No 2 shaver, he wears double pluggers**** everywhere; to the shops; in his shed; on the roof of his house (no joke), and before he quit, he chose his t-shirts based on whether or not he could fit a full size pack of Winnie Reds***** in his breast pocket. One of the first sentences my youngest sister could string together was 'Two Export bottles****** and a packet of Winfield Red thanks mate'.

* Rich
** Mid-size V8 pick-up
*** Betting shops
**** Thongs (Flip-flops)
***** Cigarettes
****** Crappy local beer

OMG!! Aussies have Rednecks TOO??!! Gah, they're taking over the WORLD!!

[Powder]

A package from Japan was shipped to me June 6th & it has still not arrived. This isn't the norm & the wait is killing me. The seller is gonna work something out for me now, I think, but I still want the item. I don't care about the dough, I want my toy.

[BubblyShell22]

That sucks, Powder. I hope it gets there soon.

Duckie, so sorry about your Mikey head. I hope he wasn't too mad at you.

Gear grinder: Headache again, and it's not even raining! Seriously, what is up with this? Well, it is cool out, so maybe that's it.

[MsMarvelDuckie]

Well, he's still smiling, so either it happened so fast he never felt it, or he must have thought it was worth losing his head for the "view", LOL!!

[pennydreadful]

Originally Posted by ProactiveMan

Much the same but their voices aren't quite so nasal. Problem we have is that thanks to the recent mining boom, half our bogans are cashed up*, so the number of SS utes** on the road practically doubles every year. Boom's over now so many of them will plant their utes on front lawns across the state and return to the TABs*** from where they were spawned.

I find the complicated thing about explaining bogans to non-Aussies is pointing out the differences between the young bogans (usually paired up but at this stage, child-free), and the older bogans.

For example, the older Australian male bogan in my area is often seen in footy shorts (football shorts), and is prone to free-balling. This can be dangerous to the eyesight of any surrounding non-bogan. The remainder of the outfit (dependent on the weather) will often comprise of a Bondsie (wife-beater singlet) and a flanno (flannel shirt). Shoes are usually thongs (flip-flops) or steel-capped work boots. The older male Boganus Queenslandicus stretches as much time between haircuts as possible, so much so that you cannot actually classify it a hairstyle as such other than "mullet meets buzzcut that grew out three months ago and dear god don't you know that hair gel and shampoo are a thing?").

The young male bogan, on the other hand, is a visually different beastie, though it will display similar social traits. Clothing choices can range from jeans to salmon pink shorts to boardies (board shorts), and in fact, often shift quickly depending on the latest trend (see appendix iv: "Ed Hardy tshirts"). Often reeks of Axe body spray. Is fond of pre-mixed Bundy rum in a can. Hairstyles can range from "whatever the guys on Jersey Shore had last season" to "buzz cut and a rats' tail". Appearance often varies greatly, for you see, the modern bogan is no longer defined by solely by social class or income (for example, a bogan can have a high-earning mining job, he can be a dole bludger - that is, on welfare - or gainfully employed in a job of moderate means). A bogan's designation as the creature known as "bogan" is based on a combination of factors, including the choices it makes - its taste in consumerism, if you will - and how it presents and conforms to certain social norms and expectations. Regardless of the bogan's income, they will spend it as quickly as they make it and as a result are often perpetually povvo/skint (aka, they rarely accrue much in the way of savings, due to their fondness for hotted-up cars, bad tattoos, going on the piss and supporting their ever-growing brood of mini-bogans/paying child support to their previous missus whilst busily nutting up a new batch with the current missus).

Male QBs are also easily identified by their shirtlessness in warmer temperatures, undeterred by any thoughts as to whether the rest of the world wants to see up-close-and-personal, their combo of Southern Cross tattoos, overly tanned skin (rendering them far more likely to get skin cancer) and snail trail (actually it's usually grotty enough that I think of it as a caterpillar trail). All male bogans will also sport a gut as a result of living on Maccas, energy drinks and booze; this growth will usually appear by the mid-20s and will continue to grow in size as the bogan advances in age.

Likes: Sports, cars, beer and women. In my area, is currently showing an increasing fondness for meth, to the point that they are now showing anti-meth ads in the cinema before the movie starts.

Spank material of choice: the wank rags from the local 7-11, which they will then share amongst each other as they can't take it home lest "the missus" find out and hits the roof. Needless to say, the bogan does not like to read, so they do not buy these mags for the articles.

Music of choice: for the older bogan, it will inevitably be Barnsey, Cold Chisel and Acca Dacca, mate! Side note to our overseas friends - if you listen to ACDC, we think you are lame. No, seriously - they're daggy. Just don't. Unless you're watching "Supernatural", in which case, an exception will be made.

Pet of choice: Staffie (Staffordshire Terrier); bogans are notorious for hating cats as they're "for sheilas, and farkin' kill the wildlife, eh." A bogan will buy a staffie, put a spiked collar on it and thinks it makes him an even manlier man than he already is. The appearance of hyper-masculinity is something which is very important to the bogan male, as this is how they determine their social status.

Final words of wisdom regarding the male BQ: Never enter a discussion about the merits of Holdens versus Commodores. You will regret it.

Female bogans are often (but not always) difficult to identify when young, but once they have begun procreating (which happens with monotonous and predictable frequency), they become instantly identifiable by their usual outfit of trackie dacks (trackpants) or pajama pants, paired with a camisole top showing the sagging milk teats, and of course, uggies (ugg boots). The female bogan is often even more aggressive than the male of the species and usually looks much older than its age. The call of a breeding female bogan to its young or current partner is a particularly shrill thing - once heard, you will never forget it. They are particularly fond of calling their male offspring names like "Lachlan" or "Jayden".

You will generally see them much less than the males, for once they begin to spawn, the female bogan does not usually work and will instead spend her days hiding inside the domicile, shouting at her children and haranguing her partner (and pretty much everyone else within earshot).

Originally Posted by MsMarvelDuckie

OMG!! Aussies have Rednecks TOO??!! Gah, they're taking over the WORLD!!

See, it's weird - because bogans are like, rednecks, but they don't live in the outback. They're suburban... kind of like chavs, but noisy and oafish, like rednecks. Genuine outback/country Aussies are usually quite fine, if a little rough around the edges. The bogan must be close to urban areas, so that it may congregate at local pubs and in the parking lots of McDonalds.

At the end of the day, you can make an attempt to explain the bogan, but it cannot truly be comprehended until you've seen it in the flesh.

Proactive, you and I really ought to run a sightseeing tour - it can be like going to Africa to look at lions and zebras, except in this case, we'll pile 'dromers in and go bogan-spotting.

[Mayhem]

Basically, bogan = chav here in the UK, with special focus on those in and around Liverpool and Newcastle by the descriptions given. Slightly different attire, although the string vest and/or wife beater attire is commonplace, you will often find them in either football shirt or tracksuit (top and bottoms), or in cold weather, topless. Male and sometimes female. Actually the women tend to be worse, especially after a few drinks.

[Leo656]

I. Love. Axe Body Spray. Bite me.

I don't own any Ed Hardy, but I do wear impossibly tight jeans matched with a studded belt and a Tap Out shirt, once in a while. But it's allowed. I occasionally get paid to punch people in the face. Only me and like three other guys can pull this sh*t off. But oh, man, I make this gaudy sh*t look like a hundred million dollaz.

[Netkeeper]

Yeah I don't think the problem is liking Axe body spray, but more, using way too much of it.

I use Axe too I like the smell

[Leo656]

EVERY wrestler carries Extra-Large cans of Axe.

Usually in their goddamn fanny pack which everyone teases me for not wearing but I outright refuse to. I'll keep my autograph markers and my contraband in my vest pocket like a gentleman, thank you.

[MsMarvelDuckie]

Interesting, penny- I see your Aussie variety is actually quite similar to ours. Allow me to elucidate....

The American Southern Redneck comes in several varieties, but the species I am most familiar with is the Redneckis Texensis, which comes in two basic types- the full "deep fried" country type, and the more recent "suburban" Redneck variety. Now, the main difference between the two is in the modes of transportation and the activities engaged in. The former typically tools around in oversized trucks, which are almost always jacked WAAY up and sport tires that are not only unnecessarily big, but usually not even practical. Said truck also is typically covered in mud or dust, and strewn with trash, clothes, and other items in the cab, while the bed is adorned with random tools and other implements, a tool-storage box, and at least a dozen empty beer cans. In the suburban Redneck, the transport is just as likely to be the "wifey's" SUV, though in either case, it might simply be an older small truck that is beat-up, rusted, and/or missing paint or dented and/or missing windows or has windows that won't go down, in addition to the aforementioned (lack of) cleanliness.

Both types tend to dress about the same, in faded and torn jeans with belts that sport oversized buckles (often from a rodeo or with southern symbols on them), boots, and the usual wife-beater or plain T-shirt with stains ranging from grease, to paint, to blood, which have had minimal effort applied in removal. Beer-guts and scruffy beards abound, and they wear their cowboy boots or work boots even in the hottest months. These creatures are almost always seen in small packs of from two to five. Country types will be easily recognized by their drawls and habit of spitting frequently, but the suburban ones can actually camouflage themselves to blend with local populations by appearing more "respectable", at least outwardly. However, they can still be recognized by their copious consumption of beer, enormous broods of young, and rabid obsession with rodeos, NASCAR, monster trucks, motocross and other sports that either involve participants going in circles for hours at a time or getting dirty- often both. Wrestling is another favorite sport, though most won't admit to it.

Both types are equally likely to work in oil fields or as truck drivers for oil and natural gas companies, beer companies, or rock-haulers, though many make their lives as machinists, in construction, or on farms and in home-improvement stores. Their preferred pet is some breed of large dogs, most often pit bulls, boxers, Aussie Shepherds, heelers, or retrievers, the last two mainly used for "huntin dawgs". It should also be noted that suburban Rednecks, while sometimes mistaken for the average suburbanite due to having nicer domiciles, will often be seen taking off on weekend trips to go camping, fishing, and hunting, with or without the family in tow. The female of both types will usually dress in attire much too tight, with big hair that is usually (but not always) dyed, and often are seen chewing gum or chatting on the phones that are never far from their ears.

The older ones typically listen to classic or "Southern" rock like Led Zepplin, Lynard Skynard, CCR, and ZZ Top, or any country. Younger ones primarily blare country or metal. The last difference is in frequency of mowing of lawns, as well as the number and age of vehicles in various states of repair on their property, presence or absence of clotheslines and/or broken-down swing-sets, and the general state of repair of the home. Obviously, suburban Rednecks will tend to keep them in better shape, mostly due to city ordinances being more heavily enforced.

[pennydreadful]

Yeah, but young BQs bathe in the stuff - that's the difference. You walk past a shirtless BQ lounging against his ute, a can of Monster in hand, with a fashionable trucker hat adorning his head, a Southern Cross or Ned Kelly tattoo on his chest, who reeks of Axe, you'll understand the part it plays.

Axe by itself is ok, but combine it with certain things and it becomes bogan.

[MsMarvelDuckie]

Ah, interesting. Ours are most often surrounded by the scent of Old Spice, Brut, or Stetson. And worn, never-washed ball caps or beat-up cowboy hats are equally often sported, as well. Tattoos, while sometimes seen, are usually either crosses, names of young or partners, and barbed-wire or tribal armbands. Skulls, half-naked girls, and bleeding hearts are also common motifs.

[pennydreadful]

Originally Posted by MsMarvelDuckie

Interesting, penny- I see your Aussie variety is actually quite similar to ours. Allow me to elucidate....

The American Southern Redneck comes in several varieties, but the species I am most familiar with is the Redneckis Texensis, which comes in two basic types- the full "deep fried" country type, and the more recent "suburban" Redneck variety. Now, the main difference between the two is in the modes of transportation and the activities engaged in. The former typically tools around in oversized trucks, which are almost always jacked WAAY up and sport tires that are not only unnecessarily big, but usually not even practical. Said truck also is typically covered in mud or dust, and strewn with trash, clothes, and other items in the cab, while the bed is adorned with random tools and other implements, a tool-storage box, and at least a dozen empty beer cans. In the suburban Redneck, the transport is just as likely to be the "wifey's" SUV, though in either case, it might simply be an older small truck that is beat-up, rusted, and/or missing paint or dented and/or missing windows or has windows that won't go down, in addition to the aforementioned (lack of) cleanliness.

This is fascinating, the small differences in white trash based on topography. Over here, the bogan's car is synonymous with his manhood. While it may be dirty if he's just taken it "muddin' or off-roadin'", he'll wash it as soon as he gets home - if it's dirty, how will the other drivers see the chrome testicles lovingly attached to the rear tow bar (must be displayed for maximum declaration of machismo), or the "F*ck Off, We're Full" anti-immigration stickers adorning the penismobile??

Spoiler:

They're inevitably full of takeaway food containers, but the outside will be kept pristine, and the bogan and his mates will gather around a vehicle and tinker with it for hours at a time, a tinnie in hand.

Much of the BQ's social and bonding behavior is based around car culture. On Thursday, Friday and Saturday nights, you can easily find the local BQ youth cruising up and down the main drag, racing each other in groups.

Car shows of some type are also popular - my knowledge on this particular subject goes no further as that would require going to a place full of bogans willingly, and going to car races/car shows, something I care not at all about.

Click the spoiler for full view of a bogan-mobile (I forgot to add, they seem to adore RM Williams as well, which is a country brand whose logo is a great big bulls' head):

Spoiler:

I'm also spotting definite similarities on tattoos. With the females, cheap flash-art with most of the color dropped out is a favorite, particularly the time-honored "tramp stamp".

[MsMarvelDuckie]

Ah, yes! Here the vehicle décor tends more toward stickers of the "piss on___" variety, Southern/Texas pride messages, logos of gun or ammo brands, hunting or fishing bumper stickers, country or classic rock bands, patriotic messages or symbols, and the like. And yes, they DO sometimes wash the vehicles, though I've noticed that they pay more attention to the ultra-chromed up wheels and step-sides than they do the body itself. Take-out food containers and the ubiquitous spit-cup are also commonly found inside. Car/truck culture is important here, as well, and those little balls you mentioned are frequent here, too- and it should be noted, they also often own at LEAST one or two ATV's, and will use them as often as possible.

Tattoos on the females seem to most often be butterflies, names of little-uns, roses (or other flowers) and crosses or angels.

[Cure]

It's funny how this group of people are the only ones it's cool to be prejudiced against.

I wonder how this conversation would go if the topic were people from Mexico.

[Netkeeper]

Originally Posted by MsMarvelDuckie

Their preferred pet is some breed of large dogs, most often pit bulls, boxers, Aussie Shepherds, heelers, or retrievers, the last two mainly used for "huntin dawgs".

It should also be noted that beagles and dachshunds are not uncommon, but are almost always overweight, and any dog they own is likely to be kept outside, possibly chained up, possibly allowed to wander around the neighbourhood. They don't know how to bathe their dogs.

[pennydreadful]

Ok, Texas Rednecks win the grossness awards just purely because of the "spit cup" factor. EEEEEWWWWWWW.

Thank god for small favors - tobacker-chewin' isn't a thing over here!

[MsMarvelDuckie]

Yeah, that's the WORST part. And Net's right about the dogs- you can usually tell a Redneck lair by how many (and if they're not fenced) and the size/type of dogs outside it.

Also: Cure- this has nothing to do with race or ethnicity- it's a certain cultural phenomenon that mostly occurs in the South- and it's not a GOOD one, either. Mostly because the general demeanor is one of backward chauvinism and uber-macho "good ol' boy" attitude. Trust me, if you've ever met one of these shotgun-toting, cud-chewing, backwater hicks, you'd wonder what kind of barn stall they were born in.

Edit: I will also note that I have personal experience with the suburban variety, and they are just as bad in their own way, in that they have the same attitudes regarding "women-folk", but hide it better. The step-dud is one of these....