Random Insanity at Toys R Us

~~Leo656~~ · 11-10-2003, 10:37 PM

So a couple weekends ago I decide to go to Toys R Us as I do every weekend to hunt and scavenge for new toys. But to my surprise, horror, and even dismay, this was to be no ordinary trip to Toys R Us. I made sure to document the trip for posterity, and I present it to you here.

First, me as I am about to enter the establishement in search of the latest WWE Ruthless Aggression figures, particularly the new Shawn Michaels. Note the new, black leather trenchcoat.

Little did I know what was waiting for me as soon as I entered the Holiest Of All Toy Establishments...

AN ARMY OF STUFFED LIONS!!! Hundreds upon hundreds of Simbas and Nalas, staring off into space with the same vacant expression. Taken aback, but unsure of how to proceed, I attempted to reach out in friendship to one of these strange creatures...

Big Mistake! Simba was not nearly as friendly in real life as I had anticipated, in fact he was rather ferocious! After a bit of a struggle I was able to pry myself away from his plush jaws of death and continue my search. It wasn't long before I was sidetracked, as something peculiar caught my eye...

"Fun Balls"? "Ball Bag"? Was this Toys R Us or the Pleasure Chest?

Moving on, I was again distracted by the sight of a pogo stick in the near distance. Enraptured with thoughts of recapturing my childhood, I mounted the device and anticipated the joys that would soon come with bouncing through the establishment with all the zest and spirit of Tom Cruise in "Legend"...

You can see how well THAT turned out...

Finally, I got back to the task at hand and entered the action figures section. The first thing I encountered was the TMNT section...

Same stuff as usual... except for one thing...

Much of a Leo fan as I am, it didn't look like it would fit. So I put it back on the rack of discounted Halloween costumes and continued my search.

Imagine my delight when I was greeted by the dozens upon dozens of He-Man variants...

Alas, nothing I didn't already own. So I took a step to the right and focused my attention on The Holy Grail, the WWE Section....

Ah, dozens and dozens of plastic replications of Ric Flair, Booker T, Kevin Nash, and the Chris Benoit figures from two years ago that nobody wants. The elusive Ruthless Aggression figures were in fact in stock, but sadly the coveted Shawn Michaels figures were not.

Dejected, I wandered aimlessly through the store, hoping to find something, anything worth purchasing so that the trip wouldn't be a complete waste of time. Amazingly, I was pulled from my thoughts when I was attacked... you heard me, I was ATTACKED during my shopping trip at Toys R Us...

"Tiggers are Wonderful Things", indeed... At this point I made a mental note to avoid all Disney-related felines for the duration of my shopping...

As I was leaving the store, disheartened by my lack of success, I witnessed something that enraged me beyond the point of reason. And being a man of action, I immediately took it upon myself to rectify this situation...

My initial offensive stance was somehow not enough to get this joker to back down. Words were exchanged (well, he didn't really say much... probably crying his eyes out behind that stupid mask in anticipation of the damage he would soon receive), and I put an end to this travesty the only way it COULD be done...

WITH A LITTLE SWEET CHIN MUSIC!!!!

So that's how it went. For the record, I ended up getting the Shawn Michaels figure off Ebay, so all is right with the world. But now whenever I go to Toys R Us the people with the red vests all start whispering into their walkie talkies as soon as I walk in, and it seems like there's always one right nearby until I leave. Wierd.

~~Reznorite420~~ · 11-10-2003, 10:51 PM

Who would've thought that a guy who looks like he could kick Triple H's ass actually shops at Toys 'R' Us on a regular basis?

Ummmm, ME, that's who!

Nothing you didn't already own? Part of me is wondering how much of each paycheck is devoted to toys...

*Kid Icarus* · 11-10-2003, 10:53 PM

Quote:

You look like Lars from Metallica in that pic.

It's errie really...

Does your Toys 'R Us have enough TMNT figs? Holy gravy and buttered toast Batman!

. It looks like they're selling pretty well though, so thats good. Those costumes are really pretty friggin cool... My nephew went as Donnie (gotta brainwash 'em when they're young

). He didn't get any weapons though... he likes hitting people

.

~~Reznorite420~~ · 11-10-2003, 10:55 PM

Oh yeah, after looking at that pic of the TMNT section, I have this to say:

Not even all of the retail stores that carry TMNT toys in both San Antonio and what I've seen in Dallas COMBINED even closely amount to HALF of what's shown in that pic!

*buys a plane ticket for Joisey*

**GK Punk** · 11-10-2003, 11:04 PM

Heh I knew there was a reason we get along well, my friend.
This thread is whuppin' my ass!

Blaze DTGG · 11-10-2003, 11:05 PM

Holy Manacured Mullets Batman..... thats a lot of TMNT toys.. i wish our TMNT section was that fully stocked.

neway.. loved the pics.. laughed my butt off.. and yeah.. those simbas are EVERYWHERE!!!

Blaze DTGG

*Kid Icarus* · 11-10-2003, 11:06 PM

My dogs name is Simba.

**Kali** · 11-10-2003, 11:13 PM

*gasp* That creepy dude in the red spandex was at my Toys R Us, too! He's stalking TMNT fans!

Anyway, yes, that looks like the TMNT set up at my local TRU. Though I can't see, does that have the chairs and beds in that display? Cause they did at my TRU...

*keeps an eye on the creepy red guy*

~~Leo656~~ · 11-10-2003, 11:17 PM

Heh... how much a week goes to toys? Enough, or too much, depending on your definition. To date I own all the new He-Man stuff except the mini figs and the Samurai Battle Cat...

As for the TMNT stuff, I dunno why but any Toys R Us, K-Mart or Kaybee in the state of NJ is stocked to overflowing with TMNT stuff. Either they bought too much or the stuff just doesn't sell well out here (Heaven forbid). Conversely, the new He-Man stuff is pretty hard to come by. All any store has is dozens of the variant figures, and the newest figures are always almost impossible to find. It took me months to find Evil-Lyn and Whiplash, and even then it was at a toy show at Freehold Mall, I never even saw them on store shelves at all.

But yeah, I can go to the store and come home with a dozen Leo figures anytime I want. Who says Jersey sucks?

Oh, and the "Lars" comment... yeah, I got that a lot back in high school... I guess, a little bit... better Lars than DiCaprio

*Tetsu Deinonychus* · 11-10-2003, 11:17 PM

LOMFAO!

Leo, that post was worthy of Seanbaby, or Old Man Murray! You should have your own humor site like them!

~~Leo656~~ · 11-10-2003, 11:25 PM

Funny you should say that... heh...

*Duke* · 11-10-2003, 11:36 PM

Awesome post my friend.

*The Defibrillator* · 11-10-2003, 11:46 PM

5 out of 5 Laffy smilies!

Now that you're in different poses you don't really resemble DiCaprio.....what a shame.

*That Matt Guy* · 11-10-2003, 11:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Leo656

I was ATTACKED during my shopping trip at Toys R Us...

Yeah, that's right... it attacked you. Stuffed animal fetish maybe?

~~Leo656~~ · 11-11-2003, 12:08 AM

Just be glad it wasn't YOU getting pounced by Tigger... Meanwhile Eeyore was slightly off to the side with a bloodthirsty look in his eyes...

*Skeletoncrew* · 11-11-2003, 01:12 AM

Hey, at least you weren't attacked by Pooh. He has a tendancy to get stuck in awkward places.

**Barkworm** · 11-11-2003, 01:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Leo656

I was ATTACKED during my shopping trip at Toys R Us...

You're really lucky, you could have ended like Roy!

**Karpo_007** · 11-11-2003, 05:54 AM

That was funny

*That Matt Guy* · 11-11-2003, 06:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Leo656

Do you tuck your pant legs into your boots? Nice crimson ghost wrist bands btw.

~~Leo656~~ · 11-11-2003, 06:26 AM

Yes. Yes I do.

And I was hoping you'd notice that. The other wrist is Thundercats.

11-10-2003, 10:37 PM	#1
~~Leo656~~ Banned Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: nWo Country Posts: 27,703	Random Insanity at Toys R Us So a couple weekends ago I decide to go to Toys R Us as I do every weekend to hunt and scavenge for new toys. But to my surprise, horror, and even dismay, this was to be no ordinary trip to Toys R Us. I made sure to document the trip for posterity, and I present it to you here. First, me as I am about to enter the establishement in search of the latest WWE Ruthless Aggression figures, particularly the new Shawn Michaels. Note the new, black leather trenchcoat. Little did I know what was waiting for me as soon as I entered the Holiest Of All Toy Establishments... AN ARMY OF STUFFED LIONS!!! Hundreds upon hundreds of Simbas and Nalas, staring off into space with the same vacant expression. Taken aback, but unsure of how to proceed, I attempted to reach out in friendship to one of these strange creatures... Big Mistake! Simba was not nearly as friendly in real life as I had anticipated, in fact he was rather ferocious! After a bit of a struggle I was able to pry myself away from his plush jaws of death and continue my search. It wasn't long before I was sidetracked, as something peculiar caught my eye... "Fun Balls"? "Ball Bag"? Was this Toys R Us or the Pleasure Chest? Moving on, I was again distracted by the sight of a pogo stick in the near distance. Enraptured with thoughts of recapturing my childhood, I mounted the device and anticipated the joys that would soon come with bouncing through the establishment with all the zest and spirit of Tom Cruise in "Legend"... You can see how well THAT turned out... Finally, I got back to the task at hand and entered the action figures section. The first thing I encountered was the TMNT section... Same stuff as usual... except for one thing... Much of a Leo fan as I am, it didn't look like it would fit. So I put it back on the rack of discounted Halloween costumes and continued my search. Imagine my delight when I was greeted by the dozens upon dozens of He-Man variants... Alas, nothing I didn't already own. So I took a step to the right and focused my attention on The Holy Grail, the WWE Section.... Ah, dozens and dozens of plastic replications of Ric Flair, Booker T, Kevin Nash, and the Chris Benoit figures from two years ago that nobody wants. The elusive Ruthless Aggression figures were in fact in stock, but sadly the coveted Shawn Michaels figures were not. Dejected, I wandered aimlessly through the store, hoping to find something, anything worth purchasing so that the trip wouldn't be a complete waste of time. Amazingly, I was pulled from my thoughts when I was attacked... you heard me, I was ATTACKED during my shopping trip at Toys R Us... "Tiggers are Wonderful Things", indeed... At this point I made a mental note to avoid all Disney-related felines for the duration of my shopping... As I was leaving the store, disheartened by my lack of success, I witnessed something that enraged me beyond the point of reason. And being a man of action, I immediately took it upon myself to rectify this situation... My initial offensive stance was somehow not enough to get this joker to back down. Words were exchanged (well, he didn't really say much... probably crying his eyes out behind that stupid mask in anticipation of the damage he would soon receive), and I put an end to this travesty the only way it COULD be done... WITH A LITTLE SWEET CHIN MUSIC!!!! So that's how it went. For the record, I ended up getting the Shawn Michaels figure off Ebay, so all is right with the world. But now whenever I go to Toys R Us the people with the red vests all start whispering into their walkie talkies as soon as I walk in, and it seems like there's always one right nearby until I leave. Wierd.

11-10-2003, 11:05 PM	#6
Blaze DTGG Stone Warrior Join Date: Sep 2003 Posts: 673	Holy Manacured Mullets Batman..... thats a lot of TMNT toys.. i wish our TMNT section was that fully stocked. neway.. loved the pics.. laughed my butt off.. and yeah.. those simbas are EVERYWHERE!!! Blaze DTGG __________________ "Life's a B*tch, and then you hit it on the nose with a rolled up newspaper for pissing on the carpet"

11-10-2003, 11:17 PM	#10
Tetsu Deinonychus The Iron Dinosaur Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Studio Snowlion HQ Posts: 3,021	LOMFAO! Leo, that post was worthy of Seanbaby, or Old Man Murray! You should have your own humor site like them! __________________ (Image hosting by Postimage.org) And here's a list of all my old wacky threads!

11-10-2003, 11:46 PM	#13
The Defibrillator Mad Scientist Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Dee Eff Dubble You Posts: 1,631	5 out of 5 Laffy smilies! Now that you're in different poses you don't really resemble DiCaprio.....what a shame. __________________ My newest signature.

11-11-2003, 01:12 AM	#16
Skeletoncrew Foot Elite Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Bearing in on your spicy brains Posts: 3,275	Hey, at least you weren't attacked by Pooh. He has a tendancy to get stuck in awkward places. __________________ Adult TMNT fan art and fiction contest Now accepting entries!

11-10-2003, 10:51 PM	#2
~~Reznorite420~~ Banned Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 3,851	Who would've thought that a guy who looks like he could kick Triple H's ass actually shops at Toys 'R' Us on a regular basis? Ummmm, ME, that's who! Nothing you didn't already own? Part of me is wondering how much of each paycheck is devoted to toys...

11-10-2003, 10:55 PM	#4
~~Reznorite420~~ Banned Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 3,851	Oh yeah, after looking at that pic of the TMNT section, I have this to say: Not even all of the retail stores that carry TMNT toys in both San Antonio and what I've seen in Dallas COMBINED even closely amount to HALF of what's shown in that pic! buys a plane ticket for Joisey

11-10-2003, 11:04 PM	#5
GK Punk I'm your Devil Join Date: Feb 2003 Posts: 12,439	Heh I knew there was a reason we get along well, my friend. This thread is whuppin' my ass!

11-10-2003, 11:06 PM	#7
Kid Icarus Foot Elite Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Angel Land Posts: 4,150	My dogs name is Simba.

11-10-2003, 11:13 PM	#8
Kali Inactive Moderator Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: California! Posts: 11,101	gasp That creepy dude in the red spandex was at my Toys R Us, too! He's stalking TMNT fans! Anyway, yes, that looks like the TMNT set up at my local TRU. Though I can't see, does that have the chairs and beds in that display? Cause they did at my TRU... keeps an eye on the creepy red guy

11-10-2003, 11:25 PM	#11
~~Leo656~~ Banned Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: nWo Country Posts: 27,703	Funny you should say that... heh...

11-10-2003, 11:36 PM	#12
Duke Mad Scientist Join Date: Dec 2002 Posts: 1,913	Awesome post my friend.

11-11-2003, 12:08 AM	#15
~~Leo656~~ Banned Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: nWo Country Posts: 27,703	Just be glad it wasn't YOU getting pounced by Tigger... Meanwhile Eeyore was slightly off to the side with a bloodthirsty look in his eyes...

11-11-2003, 05:54 AM	#18
Karpo_007 Inactive Moderator Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Finland Posts: 8,798	That was funny

11-11-2003, 06:26 AM	#20
~~Leo656~~ Banned Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: nWo Country Posts: 27,703	Yes. Yes I do. And I was hoping you'd notice that. The other wrist is Thundercats.