Live Action Chip N Dale Rescue Rangers

[Shark_Blade]

Originally Posted by Leo656

What kind of "grown-up" says that kinda sh*t with a straight face? Jesus. Take another long vacation, please.

Maybe it’s time you take yours. You can help bathe sumac’s mom while you’re at it.

Originally Posted by LeotheLateBloomer

Well yes, flies are attracted to sh*t. Though you can relate.

So you admitted you’re a fly that’s attracted to sh*t. How perfect.

Dug yourself into a turd hole lol.

[superstaff]

Originally Posted by Shark_Blade

Maybe it’s time you take yours. You can help bathe sumac’s mom while you’re at it.

Originally Posted by Shark_Blade

So you admitted you’re a fly that’s attracted to sh*t. How perfect.

Dug yourself into a turd hole lol.

All this because...of a bad Chip and Dale movie.

[Leo656]

Originally Posted by Shark_Blade

Maybe it’s time you take yours. You can help bathe sumac’s mom while you’re at it.

I don't even think his mom's still alive, we've never talked about it. And while we seem to have reached some level of understanding in recent times, I doubt we're at the level of comfort where he'd let me see his mother naked.

And I'm going nowhere, Sally. I'm a worldwide legend, you irrelevant goof. I run this f*cking place.

I mean, I don't own it. That's Krang's deal, still, far as I know. But as far as plebes like you are concerned, I'm the goddamn Pope of Chili Town.

Now be a good girl and go f*ck your ass.

Originally Posted by superstaff

All this because...of a bad Chip and Dale movie.

Yep. It boggles the mind.

But then anyone who's been here a while knows that Sh*t Blade is the Patron Saint of Bad Opinions. Some people stumble upon bad opinions by accident but this one subscribes to them as a rule. It's uncanny. Whatever "taste" can be defined as, they've got the opposite.

[Shark_Blade]

Originally Posted by superstaff

All this because...of a bad Chip and Dale movie.

All this and you’re still not interesting. More like superboring.

Originally Posted by Leo656

I don't even think his mom's still alive, we've never talked about it. And while we seem to have reached some level of understanding in recent times, I doubt we're at the level of comfort where he'd let me see his mother naked.

And I'm going nowhere, Sally. I'm a worldwide legend, you irrelevant goof. I run this f*cking place.

I mean, I don't own it. That's Krang's deal, still, far as I know. But as far as plebes like you are concerned, I'm the goddamn Pope of Chili Town.

Now be a good girl and go f*ck your ass.

Yeah you’re a “legend” alright, beat that chest real hard like a gorilla!!! LMFAOO

[superstaff]

Originally Posted by Shark_Blade

All this and you’re still not interesting.

Right. I'm not interesting because I don't bleat out elementary school yard tier insults in all of my posts. My bad. I'll go polish up on my fan trash talking, and get back to you sometime.

[Leo656]

Originally Posted by Shark_Blade

Yeah you’re a “legend” alright, beat that chest real hard like a gorilla!!! LMFAOO

I'm not taking orders from a spastic with a f*cking Shadow the Hedgehog avatar.

That right there by itself might as well be a name tag that says "Hi, My Name Is Edgelord McDumbF*ck".

[Shark_Blade]

Originally Posted by superstaff

Right. I'm not interesting because I don't bleat out elementary school yard tier insults in all of my posts. My bad. I'll go polish up on my fan trash talking, and get back to you sometime.

Don’t hit yourself on the way out.

Originally Posted by Leo656

I'm not taking orders from a spastic with a f*cking Shadow the Hedgehog avatar.

That right there by itself might as well be a name tag that says "Hi, My Name Is Edgelord McDumbF*ck".

You’re stressing yourself too much. An avatar is an avatar.
Like yours of some chunky dude with long girly hair.

[Leo656]

That's Kevin F*cking Nash, aka Super-Shredder and probably your real Dad, you goof. Do you even Ninja Turtles, bro?

Yeah, he's "chunky" alright.


You're just mad because me an' him are "good buddies" and he doesn't know you exist. That's okay, I'd be sad too.


Your f*cking ass hurts. Lie down before you fall down.

[superstaff]

Originally Posted by Leo656

That's Kevin F*cking Nash, aka Super-Shredder and probably your real Dad, you goof. Do you even Ninja Turtles, bro?

I know nearly nothing about wrestling.

But even I know that's Kevin Nash, aka Super Shredder, and not someone to mock like he did. Holy Christ, lol.

[Leo656]

How anyone could not recognize Bass F*cking Armstrong from "DOA: Dead or Alive" or The Russian from "The Punisher" is beyond me, unless that person is a complete and total lunchpail.

...or "Magic Mike" if you're a woman, or gay. I'm neither, so... I haven't seen Magic Mike. But he was in that, too!

It was an honor to share a locker room and dinner table with the man the few times I was so blessed. He said my wrestling was "good", he laughed at my dumb jokes, and he totally blew off Intermission and a bunch of Polaroid money to hang out in the back with me and tell me stories about getting food poisoning while making DOA and how Jamie Pressley is "pretty f*cking hot". He also told me how much he gets paid in residuals from the Super-Shredder gig and I nearly pissed my pants.

He also saved me and my tag partner from a beating from another 7-foot dude called Snitsky, but... y'know, that was scripted. All the other stuff was just because he likes me in real life, for whatever reason. Bless him.

[superstaff]

Originally Posted by Leo656

...or "Magic Mike" if you're a woman, or gay. I'm neither, so... I haven't seen Magic Mike. But he was in that, too!

Hey, now, I never saw Magic Mike! I did see DOA AND the 2004 Punisher, however.

And wow, you got to meet him! Daaaaaayum! That's super awesome!

[Leo656]

Several times! I literally got paid to hang out with the guy, multiple times. Not for a long time now, and he might not remember me if I ran into him tomorrow, but holy sh*t, those were great times. He is a F*cking Dude.

- So the first time, the boss calls a locker room meeting and warns us in advance, "Nobody bother him unless he wants to be bothered", because he's a Big F*cking Star with like thirty million bucks in the bank and we're a bunch of f*cking nobodies who are lucky to be on the same show and breathe the same air as him. So strictly "speak if you're spoken to." It's understood, that's the business. Some guys are divas, some aren't, you never know until they show up. He's one of the BIGGEST stars, so better safe than sorry.

Right in the middle of The Riot Act, the door swings open and The Man Himself walks in. He's HUGE. Like, he looks big, but he's way bigger standing next to you. Absolutely seven feet with his boots on. Broad-ass shoulders. Jacked to hell at 50-whatever. Everyone shuts up at once. He drops his gear bag, does that little smirk of his and says, "...So where's a guy go to get naked around here?"

And everyone cracks up, everybody relaxes all at once, and there's a collective sigh of relief because "Holy sh*t, this guy is A Dude."

- Same show, I'm in the bathroom fixing my hair and one of the guys who trained me is spiking his mohawk. We think we're the only guys in there, and we're making chitchat about some dumb sh*t I don't remember. Then when we pause, this deep bass baritone voice seems to come from everywhere at once: "Y'know what I don't get about this f*cking business? Why everybody likes to make casual conversation while we're in the f*cking sh*tter." Me and my buddy freeze, look over our shoulders and realize, "Holy sh*t, Big Kev is in the stall behind us dropping a deuce." Neither of us says anything, we're too in shock, and so he just waits a second and goes, "You guys know what I'm f*ckin' saying though, right? I mean it's weird!"

- Same show AGAIN, the promoter is giving Kev instructions for his run-in before intermission. Bad guys are beating someone up, hit Kev's music, he'll come in and beat everybody up, then do Polaroids for a half hour before they get back to the show proper, typical sh*t.

People may not know this, but Kev is sometimes nicknamed "Big Lazy" (a play on his self-given "Big Sexy" moniker) because he likes to take things at a very leisurely pace, shall we say. One of the best bits of advice he ever gave me was, "If you break a sweat, you're doing this sh*t all wrong."

So anyway, the promoter says, "...An' then Kevin, you run down there and-..." And Kev throws his hand up like "WHOA, whoa, whoa... RUN?!" He looks at me, "You hear what this guy f*ckin' said? RUN, he says! HAH!" Looks at the promoter, gives him The Smirk... "How 'bout this, buddy... I'LL GET THERE."

- And then there was The Polaroid Incident, which was actually a total dick move but worked out in my favor. A year or so later, we were in Brick, at the Elks, and for that show he went out before it started to work the merch table, and apparently someone said something that pissed him off. It wasn't clear, he didn't bring it up all night, until it was time for intermission. He was his usual happy, jokey self, mostly hanging out with me for GOD only knows why, but I'm not gonna question it. So he's sitting next to me telling me some story, and his agent comes in to tell him it's time to go do Polaroids.

Kev thinks for a moment, shakes his head and calmly says, "Nah. I'm not feelin' it."

The agent thinks he's joking, kinda laughs, and says "Very funny. You're joking, right? C'mon, we gotta go do the pictures."

Kev shakes his head again. "Nah. Nah, these people are f*cking rude, and... I don't have to deal with it."

The guy turns white, and just stares at him. After a few seconds, Kev leans way back in his chair, puts his hands behind his head, turns to me and says, "....SO, like I was tellin' ya!" and picks up his story right where he left off, making it clear he ain't movin' for nobody. The agent sheepishly walked out and I guess told the promoter that they weren't gonna be doing Polaroids.

Which was a dick move, don't get me wrong. Everyone there paid to see him, specifically, and the intermission bit is usually huge. And he just blew it off over some idiot's smart remark, because he'd rather sit in the back and tell me about his SAG card and how he still gets paid residuals to this day for a day and a half on the Ninja Turtles movie because he renegotiated his deal with Turner in '98. Classy.
----------

So yeah, he's my dude. Love him to death. Only guy I EVER met who says "f*ck" more than I do, which is impressive and horrifying all at once.

I've got other stories but those are the best ones. I don't remember what we talked about at dinner the one time, I just remember how I ended up sitting next to him because basically everybody else thought it would be "offsides" and I'm just like "F*ck it, empty chair." So we shot the sh*t all night but I don't remember much of that conversation, specifically. I just remember my wife and I walking with him back to his rental, a big-ass pickup truck, and him laughing about how much he loved having so much legroom for a change.

Most people pay money and don't get those kinda moments with him. I, on the other hand, actually got paid to be there. Sometimes, life is pretty f*cking awesome, not gonna lie.

[Shark_Blade]

Originally Posted by superstaff

I know nearly nothing about wrestling.

But even I know that's Kevin Nash, aka Super Shredder, and not someone to mock like he did. Holy Christ, lol.

Someone boring like you knows Kevin Nash? How astonishing.

Originally Posted by Leo656

That's Kevin F*cking Nash, aka Super-Shredder and probably your real Dad, you goof. Do you even Ninja Turtles, bro?

Yeah, he's "chunky" alright.
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BuJGkSSIAAA1ful.jpg:large

You're just mad because me an' him are "good buddies" and he doesn't know you exist. That's okay, I'd be sad too.
https://scontent.fewr1-6.fna.fbcdn.n...Fw&oe=62B3A2A4

Your f*cking ass hurts. Lie down before you fall down.

Let’s put it into perspective. It’s a meh movie compared to the first. Plus he’s wearing a mask, no wonder most people don’t know his face. And his acting is just a bunch of roar and wailing, hardly that memorable.

You wanna be a fangirl of his, eh then by all means lol. You tried so hard trying to make me jealous that you got to meet him, take pic and self-declared you’re such good buddies (I’m sure he’s like whatever another rabid fangirl), like wtf desperate much? Like I don’t care, why would I? Nothing of value was lost at all lmao Just say you’re mad cause I don’t care at all even of his existence. TMNT has so much more than Kevin Nash, fact.

[Leo656]

He made more money off of that piece of sh*t movie than the rest of the cast combined for a day and a half of work because he has an awesome agent and knows how to renegotiate his residuals. "Fact".

We saved this sh*tty thread by making it a Nash Worship Thread and you, "sir", are not welcome. I suggest you spend the rest of the day trying to fish the broken-off anal beads out of your colon and reevaluating your life choices. Please do not send the cat in there; if the gerbil didn't get them out, the cat's not gonna be able to reach them either.

[Shark_Blade]

You could be having a sexual intercourse with him and I still don’t care.

What does that contribute to anything? Nothing.

[ZariusTwo]

Originally Posted by superstaff

Yeah, I don't get why these guys are being so immature and overly sensitive to criticism of this movie. Even the DCEU and MCU fanboys here aren't being so defensive over their fandoms, and they tend to be fanatical about those. I don't understand why this movie is being propped up like it's on par with other major film franchises.

I don't have an issue with anyone hating the movie, I took an issue with you people insulting anyone who did enjoy it.

Most of the arguing was because most of you got triggered over a cartoon mouse f*cking a fly. The Peter Pan thing? Very understandable, very valid points in disliking the film's tone and direction, but there was nothing wrong with Gadget and Zipper

[Leo656]

Originally Posted by Shark_Blade

You could be having a sexual intercourse with him and I still don’t care.

What does that contribute to anything? Nothing.

Your mother's rimjob techniques are infinitely more creative than your weaksauce attempts at insults and deflection, Sasha.

I didn't even know she KNEW the Kryptonian alphabet, let alone how to trace it with her tongue, but holy sh*t did I pop a gusher. At least she's good for somethin'; she sure as sh*t f*cked up making YOU.

Also, "Sexual intercourse". Talk like a grownup. I've always suspected you're like 15 years old at best and you've never even tried to disprove it. Children don't belong here.

[Leo656]

Originally Posted by ZariusTwo

there was nothing wrong with Gadget and Zipper

I... disagree.

And I insult Sh*t_Blade because he's a proven and unapologetic dildo, I don't care what movies he likes. Hopefully, you understand my position. You and I have always been cool. I question your passionate devotion to this movie, but that's whatever, I don't care. That guy, though? "No Sympy", in the words of Scotty Steiner.

I mean Right This Minute he's got the cat stuck in his ass after I TOLD him not to do that. WHAT am I supposed to do, Zar? I can only work with what these people give me for f*ck's sake.

[Shark_Blade]

Originally Posted by Leo656

Your mother's rimjob techniques are infinitely more creative than your weaksauce attempts at insults and deflection, Sasha.

I didn't even know she KNEW the Kryptonian alphabet, let alone how to trace it with her tongue, but holy sh*t did I pop a gusher. At least she's good for somethin'; she sure as sh*t f*cked up making YOU.

Also, "Sexual intercourse". Talk like a grownup. I've always suspected you're like 15 years old at best and you've never even tried to disprove it. Children don't belong here.

Your mother does rimjob? How wild. Well your mother also needs a bath after such ordeal. Her wrinkly and saggy underboobs need scrubbing, she told everyone they’re getting sticky and sweaty. You better get to it.

[Leo656]

Originally Posted by Shark_Blade

Your mother does rimjob? How wild. Well your mother also needs a bath after such ordeal. Her wrinkly and saggy underboobs need scrubbing, she told everyone they’re getting sticky and sweaty. You better get to it.

Considering that my mother died in 1997, I'm sure she's quite the mess by now, yes.

You f*cking idiot.