More great news

~~Leo656~~ · 11-21-2003, 07:16 PM

Yesterday my landlord went for an eviction notice for me and my father. He's tired of my father's friends dealing drugs out of our place, so he's throwing us out. We have no money, so we can't get another place. My father will likely end up staying with the very friends who are the reason for us getting thrown out. I, on the other hand, am likely going to end up on the street. Again. With no money, no friends, and no family that cares, my options in this matter are extremely limited.

So yeah, within the near future, maybe within the next month or so, I'm going to likely stop posting, since being homeless I won't be able to get online very much. Just figured I'd give you a heads up.

Oh, I also can't promise that once I'm gone I'll ever, in fact, come back, because I'm pretty sure after I'm out on the street I'll end up snapping and finally killing myself. With no money, no family, no friends, and no place to live, I have absolutely zero reason to live at this point in time and I don't believe that will change anytime soon. I'm tired of living just to scrape by. I just turned 21, and I feel like I'm 50. I've had it. I'm done. I've accomplished all I'm ever going to regardless. I've been put through too much in my life in the short time I've lived it. I don't care about anyone or anything and honestly haven't for a long, long time. Everyone says "God has a plan for everyone," and if this was His plan, he can f*cking take it back, because I've had enough. I don't even know if God exists. All I know is that if He does, He better hope I don't make it to Heaven, because if I do, I'm going to spit right in His face for all the sh*t I've been through in my life.

There's nothing anyone can say that can change the way I feel, and whether or not I go through with it in the end depends entirely on me, and a bunch of faceless people on the internet won't change that, no matter how cool they are (and believe me, you are). I just don't have the strength anymore. I'm tired.

I just have nothing left to give.

*ZariusTwo* · 11-21-2003, 09:43 PM

OWCH

Sorry if that did'nt help, you have our support

*Storm Wolf* · 11-21-2003, 09:50 PM

WoW.....Leo thats kinda sad....but hey at least i can kinda get what your going threw....been there and i'm still to young to get away from my parents....and your right no one can change your mind.....except you that is....I'm pretty sure everyone here on the drome would support you like
ZariusTwo said...just know your not alone ok?

*JameO* · 11-21-2003, 10:02 PM

If you got a money problem I suggest selling all those things you own. I am wondering though. You seem to have money to buy toys and internet clothes and all the wrestling things and you have money problems? You have sold your stuff before if you were low on money. Life over luxury huh? Interesting that not too long ago you went on a shopping spree in Toys R Us but if you had a money problem why go in? Just a few questions I had.

*Raven* · 11-21-2003, 10:06 PM

leo thats terrible! that sucks.
I really wish I could help you, but i hope things turn out better for ya.

lhb412 · 11-21-2003, 10:15 PM

Well aren't you all high and mighty. Nothin' left to give eh'? Well you know what? There are plenty of people with problems just like yours and got throught it, there are many more who have been through worse scrapes and got through it. You must think you're some special case huh?

If you want to die then you're nothing but a weakling and a coward, someone who'ld rather weasel his way out by running the other way in a battle instead of stayin' for the long haul. You don't have to die, no one has to. You'll survive this.

I don't know what advice to give, no one is gonna give you a map you've got to walk your owm path. Their's help out there, and it's pretty much right in front of you so stop being an ass and go find it for yourself and stop letting forces you can't controll decide your life for you.

Your 21, your a man, those jerks don't have to bring you down anymore, Go and find something to do: work dammit! If you wallow around in self pity waiting to starve to death then you know what?; you die!; and you know what else?; it was you being stupid that did it to yourself. You'll find that if you work real hard, are nice to people, and basically do good; things have a way of getting better.

~~Reznorite420~~ · 11-21-2003, 11:05 PM

lhb412: Thanks to you, the sh*t is about to hit the fan...prepare to have yourself a fistula torn by Leo.

*Storm Wolf* · 11-21-2003, 11:12 PM

i didn't really see that as mean Rez.....I don't think he's trying to insult Leo...just give him a wake up call....sometimes it works....but i have to admit...it was a bit harsh.

~~Leo656~~ · 11-21-2003, 11:18 PM

That's the funny thing about money, is that when I CAN spend it and save it at the same time, nothing bad happens... THEN something bad will happen and I'll have to spend my savings paying a really big bill (like, say, 3000 bucks to the electric company... THANKS DAD YOU C***S*CKER), and then when we're broke is when we get sh*t like THIS happening. Believe me, I only splurge when I can afford to. If we'd gotten an eviction notice in, say, June, it would have sucked, but not AS bad because I was working 60+ hours a week and making good money, so we could afford to move. Right now we have 100 dollars for food and that's IT until next Friday when this week's pay (a whole 22 hours) comes in. So yeah, Old Man Winter can eat me.

If I started selling stuff I wouldn't be able to accumulate the money needed to find a new place FAST enough. No apartments around here are less than 700 a month, and they all want at least one month security and one month rent up front. Not that I want to sell my stuff ANYway, but I would if it would make that much of a difference. I'd still be using the 7-11 dumpster for a toilet at night for a little while.

Now, as for lhb's thoughtful comments, I'll be more than willing to talk about this with you when you grow up and live in the real world and realize that bad things happen no matter how hard you work, how dedicated you are, and how much faith you have. The simple fact of the matter is that I simply have been through MORE bad stuff than most people are forced to endure, through no fault of my own, and in a relatively short lifetime. You have no idea what I've been through in my life, so for you to say stuff like that just makes you look completely naive. Not to mention I probably work ten times harder at my job than most people do, and it amounts to d*ck.

Not all people who think life sucks and want to kill themselves are "stupid" and "weak", kid. Some people just want to get the f*ck outta here. You'll learn that one day. Hopefully it'll be the day you go to work, get fired from your job because your boss has a hangover, come home, find out your house has been robbed, find your girlfriend in bed with your dad, go puke in the bathroom, look down to discover you have a weird growth on your genitals, go to the doctor, get checked out, find out you have a terminal disease, and come home to find that your girlfriend left and made sure to burn the house down on her way out.

Then... MAYBE then... you'll be able to say you've had things worse than me. Prick.

*JameO* · 11-21-2003, 11:29 PM

When money is low you can always just save a rainy day fund you know. So if something goes wrong you have something to fall back on. That is all I am saying.

*Storm Wolf* · 11-21-2003, 11:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Leo656

Not all people who think life sucks and want to kill themselves are "stupid" and "weak", kid. Some people just want to get the f*ck outta here. You'll learn that one day. Hopefully it'll be the day you go to work, get fired from your job because your boss has a hangover, come home, find out your house has been robbed, find your girlfriend in bed with your dad, go puke in the bathroom, look down to discover you have a weird growth on your genitals, go to the doctor, get checked out, find out you have a terminal disease, and come home to find that your girlfriend left and made sure to burn the house down on her way out.

Then... MAYBE then... you'll be able to say you've had things worse than me. Prick.

hmmm....that would be pretty depressing......

like i said dear....chill out there....just know others have had tha same problem...or something similar to it......from what i've heard everyone here likes you....so isn't there someone living close to that could help you out....I know you feel really low right now...but don't deprive the world of your prescence deary....that would be an awful waste!

I don't agree that killing is cowardly.....actually i think it takes guts....if things are really that bad that you can take your own life.....WoW

I've tried to kill myself a few times way back.....didn't have the balls to do it

malignant · 11-21-2003, 11:35 PM

wow..just wow...

how many suicide postings does this make just THIS month now?..let alone this year on this forum...

it almost scares me to be a TMNT fan..=x

~~Reznorite420~~ · 11-21-2003, 11:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tiger Powers

[I've tried to kill myself a few times way back.....didn't have the balls to do it

Perhaps because the fact that you're a female means you don't have any?

~~Leo656~~ · 11-21-2003, 11:43 PM

Tiger, I don't know if I actually COULD... just that I spend a lot of time wanting to.

And no, sadly, nobody around here can help me out. My closest relatives that I could stay with are in PA, which would require me leaving my job and trying to find a new one and they wouldn't even let me stay there for very long, because we've had this discussion.

Point blank, most of my family are these spoiled rich religious nuts who think nobody has any REAL problems because life was always easy for them. THEIR parents saved money their whole lives to buy their kids' cars and send their kids to college, so they assume that's the way the world always works. Well SOMEtimes parents spend their whole lives smoking crack and not giving a f*ck about their kids. SOMEtimes kids have to dip into their savings at 14 to pay off bill collectors. SOMEtimes, parents steal the entire 12 thousand dollars out of their 15 year old kid's bank account to buy cocaine. SOMETIMES GOD DOESN'T CARE AND LIFE AINT F*CKING PERFECT.... but try telling my family that.

So that's why I'm going to most likely end up sleeping on a sidewalk somewhere for a while. I mean I can't say for certain that I WILL kill myself... I'm not PLANNING to or anything. I just seriously wouldn't be shocked if one day I just end up thinking about how the hell my life came to this point and then I'd end up doing it out of sheer frustration.

*Storm Wolf* · 11-21-2003, 11:43 PM

not really scary.....everyone thinks of suicide at one point in thier life.....i think people just feel comfortable expressing themselves here...they feel they have friends and that someone will understand what they are going through.......i don't think it's scary at all....but thats just me........

*The Defibrillator* · 11-21-2003, 11:48 PM

I can't even think of anything to say......

lhb412, shut up. Leo doesn't come here to get lectured.

*Kid Icarus* · 11-21-2003, 11:55 PM

Check your PM's Leo

*Storm Wolf* · 11-21-2003, 11:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Reznorite420

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tiger Powers

[I've tried to kill myself a few times way back.....didn't have the balls to do it

Perhaps because the fact that you're a female means you don't have any?

hmm....Rez...you have a very good point there

I'm not yet 17 Leo and my parents spent all our money on drugs as well so i feel ya on that one.....i have already had to sleep in a car for a while cause our house got repoed and sh!t....my parents still haven't learned either.....my father has been in prison most my life....and my mom sleeps her life away.....*shrugs* but everyday i wake up and put a smile on my face and tell myself life is good.........You know why Leo....welll.....frankly I can't tell you cause even i don't know.....it's just my way.......but many people think i have a wonderful life beacause of the happiness i seem to generate......life isn't always great...but i like to pretend it is....

~~Leo656~~ · 11-21-2003, 11:57 PM

((shrugs)) It's nothing I haven't heard before, nor was my reply anything I haven't *said* before. Some people just have no way of understanding other people without having lived what they've been through.

I mean I used to really look down on people that killed themselves too, until I realized that for some people there really is no light at the end of the tunnel for them, and they just don't want to live anymore. I mean, if a 60-year old homeless veteran is tired of living his sh*tty life, and he decides that killing himself is the only thing to do, well, why not? There is obviously no pot of gold at the end of HIS rainbow. Or someone who gets diagnosed with AIDS, decides to go home and blow his brains out rather than live and suffer a long, slow death... that's their choice.

I was always pro-choice about issues like abortion, feeling that a woman's right to have a baby or not was her own decision to make. As I grew older, I simply adapted that philosophy to include suicide as well. Just like a woman shouldn't be forced to carry, birth and raise a child that she may not want and may not be able to care for, a person shouldn't be forced to go on living and suffering just because life dealt them a lousy hand.

MTN889 · 11-22-2003, 12:05 AM

Do not leave leo, we all like you very much.

Im glad that my bright side has come, because recently me and 2 of my brothers are going to a prep school, so were out of money... and out bathroom wall collapsed and we duct taped it, our room window is broken, garage window is broken, 2 Broken TV's (we now have 1 TV), and me and my brothers sleep in the same room which is about the size of a cubical...

But recently, my mom got a job so that might all be fixed and i will live a good life once again!

No drugs have ever been involved in my life... thank god.

11-21-2003, 07:16 PM	#1
~~Leo656~~ Banned Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: nWo Country Posts: 27,703	More great news Yesterday my landlord went for an eviction notice for me and my father. He's tired of my father's friends dealing drugs out of our place, so he's throwing us out. We have no money, so we can't get another place. My father will likely end up staying with the very friends who are the reason for us getting thrown out. I, on the other hand, am likely going to end up on the street. Again. With no money, no friends, and no family that cares, my options in this matter are extremely limited. So yeah, within the near future, maybe within the next month or so, I'm going to likely stop posting, since being homeless I won't be able to get online very much. Just figured I'd give you a heads up. Oh, I also can't promise that once I'm gone I'll ever, in fact, come back, because I'm pretty sure after I'm out on the street I'll end up snapping and finally killing myself. With no money, no family, no friends, and no place to live, I have absolutely zero reason to live at this point in time and I don't believe that will change anytime soon. I'm tired of living just to scrape by. I just turned 21, and I feel like I'm 50. I've had it. I'm done. I've accomplished all I'm ever going to regardless. I've been put through too much in my life in the short time I've lived it. I don't care about anyone or anything and honestly haven't for a long, long time. Everyone says "God has a plan for everyone," and if this was His plan, he can fcking take it back, because I've had enough. I don't even know if God exists. All I know is that if He does, He better hope I don't make it to Heaven, because if I do, I'm going to spit right in His face for all the sht I've been through in my life. There's nothing anyone can say that can change the way I feel, and whether or not I go through with it in the end depends entirely on me, and a bunch of faceless people on the internet won't change that, no matter how cool they are (and believe me, you are). I just don't have the strength anymore. I'm tired. I just have nothing left to give.

11-21-2003, 09:43 PM	#2
ZariusTwo Overlord Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Britain, DINO THUNDER...POWER UP! Posts: 22,513	OWCH Sorry if that did'nt help, you have our support __________________ Spider-Man: The Rescue Spider-Man: The Galloping Cat Spider-Man: Scarlet Mirror Doctor Who: Child of the Daleks

11-21-2003, 10:06 PM	#5
Raven follower of Jesus Join Date: Feb 2003 Posts: 6,212	leo thats terrible! that sucks. I really wish I could help you, but i hope things turn out better for ya. __________________ TMNT Future Despair Deviant Offical Ultimate Ninja Turtles Site!

11-21-2003, 10:15 PM	#6
lhb412 Foot Soldier Join Date: Jan 2003 Posts: 246	Well aren't you all high and mighty. Nothin' left to give eh'? Well you know what? There are plenty of people with problems just like yours and got throught it, there are many more who have been through worse scrapes and got through it. You must think you're some special case huh? If you want to die then you're nothing but a weakling and a coward, someone who'ld rather weasel his way out by running the other way in a battle instead of stayin' for the long haul. You don't have to die, no one has to. You'll survive this. I don't know what advice to give, no one is gonna give you a map you've got to walk your owm path. Their's help out there, and it's pretty much right in front of you so stop being an ass and go find it for yourself and stop letting forces you can't controll decide your life for you. Your 21, your a man, those jerks don't have to bring you down anymore, Go and find something to do: work dammit! If you wallow around in self pity waiting to starve to death then you know what?; you die!; and you know what else?; it was you being stupid that did it to yourself. You'll find that if you work real hard, are nice to people, and basically do good; things have a way of getting better. __________________ "Sorry I'm late. I was out saving your life, in the future!" - Space Ghost

11-21-2003, 11:35 PM	#12
malignant Hench Mutant Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Colorado Posts: 383	wow..just wow... how many suicide postings does this make just THIS month now?..let alone this year on this forum... it almost scares me to be a TMNT fan..=x __________________ Currently Playing - went back to playing Prince of Persia SOT (Xbox) Mario Kart (DS) Shredder

11-21-2003, 10:02 PM	#4
JameO Mad Scientist Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Ontario, Canada Posts: 1,753	If you got a money problem I suggest selling all those things you own. I am wondering though. You seem to have money to buy toys and internet clothes and all the wrestling things and you have money problems? You have sold your stuff before if you were low on money. Life over luxury huh? Interesting that not too long ago you went on a shopping spree in Toys R Us but if you had a money problem why go in? Just a few questions I had.

11-21-2003, 11:05 PM	#7
~~Reznorite420~~ Banned Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 3,851	lhb412: Thanks to you, the sh*t is about to hit the fan...prepare to have yourself a fistula torn by Leo.

11-21-2003, 11:18 PM	#9
~~Leo656~~ Banned Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: nWo Country Posts: 27,703	That's the funny thing about money, is that when I CAN spend it and save it at the same time, nothing bad happens... THEN something bad will happen and I'll have to spend my savings paying a really big bill (like, say, 3000 bucks to the electric company... THANKS DAD YOU C**SCKER), and then when we're broke is when we get sht like THIS happening. Believe me, I only splurge when I can afford to. If we'd gotten an eviction notice in, say, June, it would have sucked, but not AS bad because I was working 60+ hours a week and making good money, so we could afford to move. Right now we have 100 dollars for food and that's IT until next Friday when this week's pay (a whole 22 hours) comes in. So yeah, Old Man Winter can eat me. If I started selling stuff I wouldn't be able to accumulate the money needed to find a new place FAST enough. No apartments around here are less than 700 a month, and they all want at least one month security and one month rent up front. Not that I want to sell my stuff ANYway, but I would if it would make that much of a difference. I'd still be using the 7-11 dumpster for a toilet at night for a little while. Now, as for lhb's thoughtful comments, I'll be more than willing to talk about this with you when you grow up and live in the real world and realize that bad things happen no matter how hard you work, how dedicated you are, and how much faith you have. The simple fact of the matter is that I simply have been through MORE bad stuff than most people are forced to endure, through no fault of my own, and in a relatively short lifetime. You have no idea what I've been through in my life, so for you to say stuff like that just makes you look completely naive. Not to mention I probably work ten times harder at my job than most people do, and it amounts to dck. Not all people who think life sucks and want to kill themselves are "stupid" and "weak", kid. Some people just want to get the f*ck outta here. You'll learn that one day. Hopefully it'll be the day you go to work, get fired from your job because your boss has a hangover, come home, find out your house has been robbed, find your girlfriend in bed with your dad, go puke in the bathroom, look down to discover you have a weird growth on your genitals, go to the doctor, get checked out, find out you have a terminal disease, and come home to find that your girlfriend left and made sure to burn the house down on her way out. Then... MAYBE then... you'll be able to say you've had things worse than me. Prick.

11-21-2003, 11:29 PM	#10
JameO Mad Scientist Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Ontario, Canada Posts: 1,753	When money is low you can always just save a rainy day fund you know. So if something goes wrong you have something to fall back on. That is all I am saying.

11-21-2003, 11:43 PM	#14
~~Leo656~~ Banned Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: nWo Country Posts: 27,703	Tiger, I don't know if I actually COULD... just that I spend a lot of time wanting to. And no, sadly, nobody around here can help me out. My closest relatives that I could stay with are in PA, which would require me leaving my job and trying to find a new one and they wouldn't even let me stay there for very long, because we've had this discussion. Point blank, most of my family are these spoiled rich religious nuts who think nobody has any REAL problems because life was always easy for them. THEIR parents saved money their whole lives to buy their kids' cars and send their kids to college, so they assume that's the way the world always works. Well SOMEtimes parents spend their whole lives smoking crack and not giving a fck about their kids. SOMEtimes kids have to dip into their savings at 14 to pay off bill collectors. SOMEtimes, parents steal the entire 12 thousand dollars out of their 15 year old kid's bank account to buy cocaine. SOMETIMES GOD DOESN'T CARE AND LIFE AINT FCKING PERFECT.... but try telling my family that. So that's why I'm going to most likely end up sleeping on a sidewalk somewhere for a while. I mean I can't say for certain that I WILL kill myself... I'm not PLANNING to or anything. I just seriously wouldn't be shocked if one day I just end up thinking about how the hell my life came to this point and then I'd end up doing it out of sheer frustration.

11-21-2003, 11:48 PM	#16
The Defibrillator Mad Scientist Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Dee Eff Dubble You Posts: 1,631	I can't even think of anything to say...... lhb412, shut up. Leo doesn't come here to get lectured. __________________ My newest signature.

11-21-2003, 11:55 PM	#17
Kid Icarus Foot Elite Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Angel Land Posts: 4,150	Check your PM's Leo

11-21-2003, 11:57 PM	#19
~~Leo656~~ Banned Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: nWo Country Posts: 27,703	((shrugs)) It's nothing I haven't heard before, nor was my reply anything I haven't said before. Some people just have no way of understanding other people without having lived what they've been through. I mean I used to really look down on people that killed themselves too, until I realized that for some people there really is no light at the end of the tunnel for them, and they just don't want to live anymore. I mean, if a 60-year old homeless veteran is tired of living his sh*tty life, and he decides that killing himself is the only thing to do, well, why not? There is obviously no pot of gold at the end of HIS rainbow. Or someone who gets diagnosed with AIDS, decides to go home and blow his brains out rather than live and suffer a long, slow death... that's their choice. I was always pro-choice about issues like abortion, feeling that a woman's right to have a baby or not was her own decision to make. As I grew older, I simply adapted that philosophy to include suicide as well. Just like a woman shouldn't be forced to carry, birth and raise a child that she may not want and may not be able to care for, a person shouldn't be forced to go on living and suffering just because life dealt them a lousy hand.

11-22-2003, 12:05 AM	#20
MTN889 Stone Warrior Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: I would tell you, but i fear an attack of AOL Trial CDs. Posts: 665	Do not leave leo, we all like you very much. Im glad that my bright side has come, because recently me and 2 of my brothers are going to a prep school, so were out of money... and out bathroom wall collapsed and we duct taped it, our room window is broken, garage window is broken, 2 Broken TV's (we now have 1 TV), and me and my brothers sleep in the same room which is about the size of a cubical... But recently, my mom got a job so that might all be fixed and i will live a good life once again! No drugs have ever been involved in my life... thank god.