Star Wars spoof.

~~Jarrah White~~ · 04-03-2004, 04:22 PM

A Long Time Ago In A Galaxy Far, Far Away...

Well actually it was only thirty years ago, on America a guy called George Lucas decided to make a film called Star Wars. Then he made another one. Then another one. And then he just sat on his rich fat ass for fifteen years and did sweet f*** all. But all those Mansions don't pay for themselves so he's back with Episodes One, Two and...

Star Warz: Episode Three, The Clamer for Merchandise.

It is a time of galactic upset. The Imperial forces have flooded the market with crap Star Wars merchandise. This has pissed off the Rebal Forces no end.

Chapter 1

Deep in space, the Death Star floats, I giant Coka Cola billboard rotates in top. Deep within, a major battle rages on between the Storm Troopers and Rebal forces. A Storm Trooper's ray gun runs out of ammo, so he removes another from it's original packages. Meanwhile, R2-D2 and C-3PO run through out the fortress.

R2-D2: Beep, Beep, Bop, Beep, Beep.
C-3PO: No, R2, I am not running like a big girly droid!
R2-D2: Beep, Beep, Beep.
C-3PO: Same to you, little robotic terd.

The two make it to Princess Leia's cell.

C-3PO: Your royale highness, thank heavens your safe and well.
Princess Leia: Don't patronise me, RoboBoy. Just because you were built like a man and you think like a man does not mean you are a man. Your more like a cross between Elton John and a vaccum cleaner. Your made of tin and you suck.
C-3PO: Do you have to rescue her?
R2-D2: Beep, Bop, Bop, Bop, Bop, Beep.
C-3PO: Yes, I suppose she is in The Empire Strikes Back.
R2-D2: Ah, but she's not in The Phantom Menace, Liam Neeson plays the princess in that one.
Princess Leia: Are you quite finished, Tin Man and Dexter from perfect match?
R2-D2: Beep, Beep.
C-3PO: Princess there isn't just time, what have you found out about The Death Star?
Princess Leia: Well 3POQ or whatever your called, it's like a huge factory pumping out low quality Star Wars merchandise twenty-four hours a day. This for example is the R2-D2 action figure.

Leia holds up what appears to be an empty VB Beer can with half a tennis ball stuck to the top and two plastic eyeball keychains glued to either side.

C-3PO: Good lord.
Princess Leia: I don't suppose your interested in seeing yours...

Leia holds up C-3PO's action figure (Trust me, you don't wanna know what it looks like.)

C-3PO: Ahhh!

(More coming soon!)

*Taloniss* · 04-03-2004, 05:11 PM

Where are those mighty robots from Battlestar Galactica when you need them?

Splinter · 04-03-2004, 05:43 PM

You do realize that while he didn't do any more Star Wars films for many years, that he's responsible for many many other movies. That he either wrote or produced. And the money that the Star Wars saga made, was also used to create things that made making movies easier for other directors.

Industrial Light and Magic, the premiere effects company in Hollywood. Their track record is all thanks to Lucas that had the company started so he could do the effects for the first Star Wars film. Just look at how many other films have used the tools and work that Lucas pioneered. Not to mention their Computer Effects work in the late 80's and early 90's. The kind of effects WETA delievered for LOTR's may have been years off, if not for the early work by Lucasfilm.

THX Sound. Digital Cameras. Hunders of other things that all came about thanks to Lucas. So while you may think he just sat on his ass for 15 years, you would be very very wrong in that assumption. Without Lucas the film technology that we have today would not be possible. So, even if your being spoofy, just remember that Star Wars is not the only thing that Lucas is responsible for.

*That Matt Guy* · 04-04-2004, 05:47 AM

Lucas gave the world Howard the Duck.

**Barkworm** · 04-04-2004, 05:55 AM

Actually it was Marvel comics who gave birth to Howard.

*That Matt Guy* · 04-04-2004, 06:08 AM

Well, Lucas produced that mess. There's Howard on his hands too.

sensei#me · 04-09-2004, 06:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jarrah White

A Long Time Ago In A Galaxy Far, Far Away...

Well actually it was only thirty years ago, on America a guy called George Lucas decided to make a film called Star Wars. Then he made another one. Then another one. And then he just sat on his rich fat ass for fifteen years and did sweet f*** all. But all those Mansions don't pay for themselves so he's back with Episodes One, Two and...

Star Warz: Episode Three, The Clamer for Merchandise.

It is a time of galactic upset. The Imperial forces have flooded the market with crap Star Wars merchandise. This has pissed off the Rebal Forces no end.

Chapter 1

Deep in space, the Death Star floats, I giant Coka Cola billboard rotates in top. Deep within, a major battle rages on between the Storm Troopers and Rebal forces. A Storm Trooper's ray gun runs out of ammo, so he removes another from it's original packages. Meanwhile, R2-D2 and C-3PO run through out the fortress.

R2-D2: Beep, Beep, Bop, Beep, Beep.
C-3PO: No, R2, I am not running like a big girly droid!
R2-D2: Beep, Beep, Beep.
C-3PO: Same to you, little robotic terd.

The two make it to Princess Leia's cell.

C-3PO: Your royale highness, thank heavens your safe and well.
Princess Leia: Don't patronise me, RoboBoy. Just because you were built like a man and you think like a man does not mean you are a man. Your more like a cross between Elton John and a vaccum cleaner. Your made of tin and you suck.
C-3PO: Do you have to rescue her?
R2-D2: Beep, Bop, Bop, Bop, Bop, Beep.
C-3PO: Yes, I suppose she is in The Empire Strikes Back.
R2-D2: Ah, but she's not in The Phantom Menace, Liam Neeson plays the princess in that one.
Princess Leia: Are you quite finished, Tin Man and Dexter from perfect match?
R2-D2: Beep, Beep.
C-3PO: Princess there isn't just time, what have you found out about The Death Star?
Princess Leia: Well 3POQ or whatever your called, it's like a huge factory pumping out low quality Star Wars merchandise twenty-four hours a day. This for example is the R2-D2 action figure.

Leia holds up what appears to be an empty VB Beer can with half a tennis ball stuck to the top and two plastic eyeball keychains glued to either side.

C-3PO: Good lord.
Princess Leia: I don't suppose your interested in seeing yours...

Leia holds up C-3PO's action figure (Trust me, you don't wanna know what it looks like.)

C-3PO: Ahhh!

(More coming soon!)

BLASPHEMER!!!!! the sith shall punish you.....

*Voltron* · 04-09-2004, 06:46 PM

Don't pay attention to him...maybe he'll go away.

**ThirdMarioBro** · 04-09-2004, 07:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Splinter

You do realize that while he didn't do any more Star Wars films for many years, that he's responsible for many many other movies. That he either wrote or produced. And the money that the Star Wars saga made, was also used to create things that made making movies easier for other directors.

Industrial Light and Magic, the premiere effects company in Hollywood. Their track record is all thanks to Lucas that had the company started so he could do the effects for the first Star Wars film. Just look at how many other films have used the tools and work that Lucas pioneered. Not to mention their Computer Effects work in the late 80's and early 90's. The kind of effects WETA delievered for LOTR's may have been years off, if not for the early work by Lucasfilm.

THX Sound. Digital Cameras. Hunders of other things that all came about thanks to Lucas. So while you may think he just sat on his ass for 15 years, you would be very very wrong in that assumption. Without Lucas the film technology that we have today would not be possible. So, even if your being spoofy, just remember that Star Wars is not the only thing that Lucas is responsible for.

and only a true fan would know that. Thank you.

Hyper Metal Sonic · 04-09-2004, 07:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Splinter

You do realize that while he didn't do any more Star Wars films for many years, that he's responsible for many many other movies. That he either wrote or produced. And the money that the Star Wars saga made, was also used to create things that made making movies easier for other directors.

Industrial Light and Magic, the premiere effects company in Hollywood. Their track record is all thanks to Lucas that had the company started so he could do the effects for the first Star Wars film. Just look at how many other films have used the tools and work that Lucas pioneered. Not to mention their Computer Effects work in the late 80's and early 90's. The kind of effects WETA delievered for LOTR's may have been years off, if not for the early work by Lucasfilm.

THX Sound. Digital Cameras. Hunders of other things that all came about thanks to Lucas. So while you may think he just sat on his ass for 15 years, you would be very very wrong in that assumption. Without Lucas the film technology that we have today would not be possible. So, even if your being spoofy, just remember that Star Wars is not the only thing that Lucas is responsible for.

Don't forget that he funded Lucasfilm Games (Which his "interactive entertainment" section of his empire.

), which turned into Lucasarts which gave us such classics as Dark Forces, Jedi Knight, Sam & Max, and more!

*Stone Ill* · 04-09-2004, 08:00 PM

Star Wars is a spoof in itself..

**ThirdMarioBro** · 04-09-2004, 10:27 PM

No it's not. It's one of the foundations of Sifi culture.

*Mars-Chan* · 04-09-2004, 10:30 PM

Amen, TMB.

Artoo-Detoo: *chirps*
Seethreepio: I am not a dork, Artoo! Stop calling me that!
Artoo: *chirps again*
Seethreepio: *turns away* Oh...buzz off.
*Artoo then proceeds to zap the crud out of him*

Heh...joke a guy friend and I do every time we call each other.

*Eye of Sarnath* · 04-09-2004, 11:24 PM

As a die-hard Star Wars fan, I must say this topic was born of ignorance.

愛 · 04-09-2004, 11:36 PM

Well, it is a spoof, so I'm not saying anything.

*TigerClaw* · 04-10-2004, 01:59 AM

Lets not forget, Lucas also made the Indiana Jones Trilogy with the help of Steven Spielberg

**Barkworm** · 04-10-2004, 02:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ThirdMarioBro

No it's not. It's one of the foundations of Sifi culture.

The first three movies were, but the new ones are... well they are just not good, or at least not as good as some people like to believe. Just remember the first reviews of Episode 2, when a lot people said that it was the best Star Wars movie ever. Sorry but that's ********.

Peanut · 04-10-2004, 03:13 AM

I enjoy the new ones but they don't even come close to the old ones. Honestly they don't even FEEL like Star Wars movies to me.

*That Matt Guy* · 04-10-2004, 05:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TigerClaw

Lets not forget, Lucas also made the Indiana Jones Trilogy with the help of Steven Spielberg

Lucas helped write the movies, but Spielberg directed them. It was a mutual effort by both.

**Barkworm** · 04-10-2004, 05:38 AM

BTW, has anyone already seen this (BIG SPOILER AHEAD):
http://cgi.theforce.net/theforce/ima...n_uk_paper.jpg
Looks promising!

04-03-2004, 04:22 PM	#1
~~Jarrah White~~ Banned Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Sydney, Australia Posts: 2,394	Star Wars spoof. A Long Time Ago In A Galaxy Far, Far Away... Well actually it was only thirty years ago, on America a guy called George Lucas decided to make a film called Star Wars. Then he made another one. Then another one. And then he just sat on his rich fat ass for fifteen years and did sweet f*** all. But all those Mansions don't pay for themselves so he's back with Episodes One, Two and... Star Warz: Episode Three, The Clamer for Merchandise. It is a time of galactic upset. The Imperial forces have flooded the market with crap Star Wars merchandise. This has pissed off the Rebal Forces no end. Chapter 1 Deep in space, the Death Star floats, I giant Coka Cola billboard rotates in top. Deep within, a major battle rages on between the Storm Troopers and Rebal forces. A Storm Trooper's ray gun runs out of ammo, so he removes another from it's original packages. Meanwhile, R2-D2 and C-3PO run through out the fortress. R2-D2: Beep, Beep, Bop, Beep, Beep. C-3PO: No, R2, I am not running like a big girly droid! R2-D2: Beep, Beep, Beep. C-3PO: Same to you, little robotic terd. The two make it to Princess Leia's cell. C-3PO: Your royale highness, thank heavens your safe and well. Princess Leia: Don't patronise me, RoboBoy. Just because you were built like a man and you think like a man does not mean you are a man. Your more like a cross between Elton John and a vaccum cleaner. Your made of tin and you suck. C-3PO: Do you have to rescue her? R2-D2: Beep, Bop, Bop, Bop, Bop, Beep. C-3PO: Yes, I suppose she is in The Empire Strikes Back. R2-D2: Ah, but she's not in The Phantom Menace, Liam Neeson plays the princess in that one. Princess Leia: Are you quite finished, Tin Man and Dexter from perfect match? R2-D2: Beep, Beep. C-3PO: Princess there isn't just time, what have you found out about The Death Star? Princess Leia: Well 3POQ or whatever your called, it's like a huge factory pumping out low quality Star Wars merchandise twenty-four hours a day. This for example is the R2-D2 action figure. Leia holds up what appears to be an empty VB Beer can with half a tennis ball stuck to the top and two plastic eyeball keychains glued to either side. C-3PO: Good lord. Princess Leia: I don't suppose your interested in seeing yours... Leia holds up C-3PO's action figure (Trust me, you don't wanna know what it looks like.) C-3PO: Ahhh! (More coming soon!)

04-03-2004, 05:43 PM	#3
Splinter Radical Rat Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Splinter's Dojo Posts: 1,531	You do realize that while he didn't do any more Star Wars films for many years, that he's responsible for many many other movies. That he either wrote or produced. And the money that the Star Wars saga made, was also used to create things that made making movies easier for other directors. Industrial Light and Magic, the premiere effects company in Hollywood. Their track record is all thanks to Lucas that had the company started so he could do the effects for the first Star Wars film. Just look at how many other films have used the tools and work that Lucas pioneered. Not to mention their Computer Effects work in the late 80's and early 90's. The kind of effects WETA delievered for LOTR's may have been years off, if not for the early work by Lucasfilm. THX Sound. Digital Cameras. Hunders of other things that all came about thanks to Lucas. So while you may think he just sat on his ass for 15 years, you would be very very wrong in that assumption. Without Lucas the film technology that we have today would not be possible. So, even if your being spoofy, just remember that Star Wars is not the only thing that Lucas is responsible for. __________________ R.I.P. Master Splinter - Mirage Comics - May 1984 / June 2003 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - New Episode Guide

04-04-2004, 05:55 AM	#5
Barkworm Draconian leftist ruler Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Germany Posts: 6,757	Actually it was Marvel comics who gave birth to Howard. __________________ Make ****, not kill!

04-09-2004, 06:46 PM	#8
Voltron Handsomest Boy in School Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: The Realm of SJW Posts: 4,642	Don't pay attention to him...maybe he'll go away. __________________ I AM FOR ACTUAL! . . . and the White Savior. . . and the Right Hand of God. . .

04-09-2004, 10:27 PM	#12
ThirdMarioBro Tea Time! Join Date: Feb 2003 Posts: 8,905	No it's not. It's one of the foundations of Sifi culture. __________________

04-03-2004, 05:11 PM	#2
Taloniss Mad Scientist Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Toronto Posts: 1,819	Where are those mighty robots from Battlestar Galactica when you need them?

04-04-2004, 05:47 AM	#4
That Matt Guy Honey Bunches Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Lone Star State Posts: 5,840	Lucas gave the world Howard the Duck.

04-04-2004, 06:08 AM	#6
That Matt Guy Honey Bunches Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Lone Star State Posts: 5,840	Well, Lucas produced that mess. There's Howard on his hands too.

04-09-2004, 08:00 PM	#11
Stone Ill Mad Scientist Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Burlington, Ontario Posts: 2,397	Star Wars is a spoof in itself..

04-09-2004, 10:30 PM	#13
Mars-Chan I'LL BE THE HERO!!!! Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Practicing Alchemy in Risembool Posts: 6,297	Amen, TMB. Artoo-Detoo: chirps Seethreepio: I am not a dork, Artoo! Stop calling me that! Artoo: chirps again Seethreepio: turns away Oh...buzz off. Artoo then proceeds to zap the crud out of him Heh...joke a guy friend and I do every time we call each other. __________________ clings to award THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!!! cries in joy RED DAAAAAAAAAAAAWWN!!!! PROUD Member of the Risembool Rangers! (icon made by bakergirl69 on glitter-graphics)

04-09-2004, 11:24 PM	#14
Eye of Sarnath Mad Scientist Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: NY Posts: 1,590	As a die-hard Star Wars fan, I must say this topic was born of ignorance. __________________ "When I was real small I heard about this thing called the decline of civilization... and I decided that it was something I would like to become involved in." -George Carlin

04-09-2004, 11:36 PM	#15
愛 Super Moderator Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 7,449	Well, it is a spoof, so I'm not saying anything.

04-10-2004, 01:59 AM	#16
TigerClaw Mutant Tiger Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Hialeah, Florida, USA Posts: 14,165	Lets not forget, Lucas also made the Indiana Jones Trilogy with the help of Steven Spielberg

04-10-2004, 03:13 AM	#18
Peanut Second Gear Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: The New World Posts: 15,422	I enjoy the new ones but they don't even come close to the old ones. Honestly they don't even FEEL like Star Wars movies to me.

04-10-2004, 05:38 AM	#20
Barkworm Draconian leftist ruler Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Germany Posts: 6,757	BTW, has anyone already seen this (BIG SPOILER AHEAD): http://cgi.theforce.net/theforce/ima...n_uk_paper.jpg Looks promising! __________________ Make ****, not kill!