My X, She Needs To Go Away

[Spitfire]

Okay so my X Mai and me broke up because she kept flirting with this guy named Brian. He slept at her house for a week and the whole time they were fooling around. She she was cheating on me. Her roommate Nancy was helping me. She was trying to give me advice so I could make our relationship work.

Well it didn't so I broke up with her, she was happy. Whatever...so then she starts in by telling people all these lies about me. She told everyone I raped her and some other crap too. Along with that shes trying to turn Nancy against me because she knows that we like each other*We have tons in common*. So she tells Nancy bad things about me everyday. Luckily she doesn't believe them because she knows me.

Nancy and her roommates are all sick of Mai and think she acts like a whore. The day after we broke up she went to Brian's house, took a shower with him, and we assume had sex with him too. The next day Nancy saw them hold hands and making out. So this just proves she was cheating on me, well I knew that the second Nancy told me Brain was massaging her boobs when they were laying together on her bed.*this was before we broke up*

The problem is Mai thinks what she was doing is okay...so that's why she calls me an asshole and tries to make me look bad. On top of that today she turned my cell phone off and told me I owed her 300 dollars for the phone bill. A phone plan I started a year ago for her and me. I bought the phones paid to activate them and my Mom paid the bill for 10 months. Then Mai decided my Mom was a deadbeat and wanted to pay it herself*Since it was in her name, I wasn't 18 when we started the plan* So the last 3 months she paid for it. Then she has the nerve to ask me for MY cell phone so she can give it to her Mom.

So she turns my phone off without telling me and I call her up to ask wtf her problem is and she starts in again with me. So I told her to F off and I hung up on her. Finally after the argument she keeps telling Nancy all these lies about me, no different then any other day. I don't get what the hell her problem is. We broke up why can't she just leave me alone then? I asked her if we can be friends and she said "I don't want to be friends with an asshole like you"

Now I know you have just only read my side of the story but I think you guys all know I would never rape someone I love*Or anyone for that matter* and I have no reason to lie about this stuff. It's like she wants me to be totally miserable and is trying to ruin any chance of me finding another girl.

Anyone here ever have anything like this happen to you? And what did you do about it? She lives with Nancy and when I go to visit Nancy I don't want her starting crap with me, she already said if she ever saw me again she would slap me across my face...

[ThirdMarioBro]

Gawd, apparently that woman Mai turned out to be a complete bitch. That's sickening. I feel for ya' man. Don't let her come between you and anybody else like Nancy. She's doing the typical "ex" thing. Break up, know it was her fault, then "try" to make everybody hate you so they don't think she's "as much" of a b*tch.

I'm sorry man.

[Ra]

Damn, that sure stinks I had an online conversation with her at one point (when she joined the Technodrome for awhile just so that should say "hi" to me, neather the less O_o), and she seemed nice enough. I even said how the two of you seemed to be so well together and she agreed. Where the hell is that girl I had that conversation with? Shmeh...

Woman are blood thirsty, Spitfire. When you pull the plug on the relationship, she turns into a monster. A crafty one at that. She will not attack you directly, since that is too scary and up front. Instead she will do all of this; spread lies about you and everything. There is even an online site called dontdatehimgirl.com where you can post everything about your ex-boyfriends and husbands so then girlfriends and ex-wives feel like they have justice servied to them in a nice ice cream bowl with cream.

Bottom line - she will act like this until she gets over herself. Besides, she was into another guy. She shouldn't really be doing this to you. It's both crule and rubbing salt into an open wound; painful. I hope all of this will clear up soon, Spit. You really diserve better

[Peanut]

Women are always like this. Whatever they do is right, whatever you do is wrong, even if they're at fault. And that's another crazy thing, if you're the one who ends it, they're always there to try and piss you off. B*tches! But what can you do? Let her play her childish games. Eventually they get tired and climb back into whatever crab infested crotch they crawled out of to rag on you.

[Barkworm]

Spit, I don't mean to be insensitive but after all you've told us about her this doesn't really surprise me that much. You should have got rid of her long ago.

[damnhooligan]

You don't legally owe her anything for the phones. The contract is in her name and hers alone. She's the only one responsible for it. Hell, she's used the cellphone for 13 months and has only had to pay 3 months worth of charges on it. That's a goddamn deal and a half. If she wants the money, tell her to take you to small claims court or TEXAS JUSTICE! YEEHAW!

Distance yourself, immediately. Don't expect her to go away. Do it yourself. Stop going over to her place. If you want to hang out with her roomies or whatever, have them meet you somewhere else. Also, as tempting as it might be, don't try to exact your revenge on her for possible cheating on you. Just walk away and learn from your poor choices.

Also for the record, I totally saw this coming.

[Jo Dawn]

Originally Posted by damnhooligan

You don't legally owe her anything for the phones. The contract is in her name and hers alone. She's the only one responsible for it.

Exactly right.

Distance yourself, immediately. Don't expect her to go away. Do it yourself. Stop going over to her place. If you want to hang out with her roomies or whatever, have them meet you somewhere else.

Again, yes. Meet Nancy somewhere else.

Originally Posted by Ra

Woman are blood thirsty, Spitfire. When you pull the plug on the relationship, she turns into a monster...

Bottom line - she will act like this until she gets over herself. Besides, she was into another guy.

Well, I need to answer this one carefully, especially concerning my next quote answer...

But yeah. Hell hath NO fury like a woman scorned. And I agree with that... if it's deserved. But, like Ra said, she needs to get over herself. She seems to have that awful disease some women have called 'I'm all that'. I don't know where they get it, but I hope I never do. She didn't get what SHE wanted, even if it was her fault (maybe ESPECIALLY because it was her fault) and she's gonna take it out on you.

I'm sorry.

Originally Posted by Peanut

Women are always like this. Whatever they do is right, whatever you do is wrong, even if they're at fault.

Wow, I hope that was sarcasm, heh. While I agree with you that alot of women are like that, not all of us are. I'm a woman, and trust me... I think I'm wrong about 90% of the time. Unfortunately, I usually am. Anyone who knows anything about my... well, you know what. Nevermind, heh.

I'm sorry, Spit, really I am. I'm a woman, and I totally don't understand them most times. I hope things get better for you.

[Mecha Cow]

She wants attention, ignore her. If she wants to play her stupid little games, let her, don't let it get to you. It's tempting to get mad and yell at her, but that would just be giving her what she wants and make things worse. Cut her out of your life, eventually she will give up and look for validation elsewhere.

As for her telling lies about you, as long as they are lies I wouldn't worry. Her act will fall apart sooner or later. People who know you will judge you for who you truly are, and if not they are not worth bothering with anyway.

[Draconic]

If there is any justice or gratification that someone can draw from this, it's the fact that people like Mai (sadists) aren't ever truly happy. You on the other hand, are a happy person, temporarily unhappy. You'll get better, she might not.

This is only an opportunity for you to find someone who is better for you, and for you to be good for another girl who will appreciate you.

I pitty the man she is with now: How can he trust her, when she couldn't be trusted to be good to you? These relationships I'm afraid, are doomed to fail. On that note, they may deserve eachother.

-Draconic

[Duke]

Originally Posted by Draconic

People like Mai aren't ever truly happy. You on the other hand, are a happy person, temporarily unhappy. You'll get better, she might not.

That is such a true statement.

Honestly, I've been going through my own rough time lately. For a while, I questioned if I'd ever be happy again. I thought the happiness and joy that I once had was premanately replaced by misery and despair. Then I realized that deep down I'm still the same happy person, I've always been. I was just going through a period of unhappiness, but I'm still that happy person, who loves life. It just took me a while to realize that. My happiness wasn't stolen from me like I was thought, it just takes more of an effort now to choice for that happiness to shine through. So that is exactly what I'm choicing to do right now, focus on all the wonderful things in my life and not dwell on the negatives.

[Katie]

not every girl's like that thank goodness, just like every guy's not like that.

Myself, I'm more likely to be deeply depressed thinking I did something wrong or that I was not good enough somehow.

I also have to say I despise people who cheat on their gf /bf. I have not dated many people in my life, but I'll tell you, my first love cheated with me with my best friend. they married each other at the courthouse while I filled in at work for her because she was "sick" Took me 3 years to get over that. then came love #2


Love number 2 conveniently forgot to tell me he was engaged and was living with his fiance (he told me she was his cousin--I'm stupid, ok?) He only wanted...y'know....I didn't give it up, he cried and finally came clean. took me a year to get over that. then Love #3, or as I like to call him, the guy that ruined love for me.

#3 seemed too good to be true. said he loved me, made me happy....too bad he was doing that with about 8 other girls too. including the girl that lived accross the street from my parents. He broke up with me on Valentine's Day. I was crushed. I never wanted to date again. EVER. by this time I felt it was surely something wrong with me.

In my rebound "I hate men" phase I met Trent. He was such a good guy. He made me feel likeI was worthy of Love...but things were not meant to be because he was killed a week after we got engaged. Three years and I still hadn't dated. things change.

I like a great guy. He is smart and amazing and just as perfect to me as they come....we have to be smart and take it slow, though. I think I tried to hard in the beginning and got afraid of loosing him. I don't want to mess things up. I'm not easy to love. I know it. I just have to wait and see what happens I just hope this guy thinks I am worth being with in the future like I think he is

[愛]

Asian girls are always drama queens. Just ignore her, and eventually she'll take her drama somewhere else.

[discordiatookie]

at least that chick Nancy sounds pretty cool, if anything sounds like you've made a good friend with her... just try to avoid going round her place if it means confrontation with your ex, meet up elsewhere with her! or if you start seeing Nancy (i dunno, it could happen!) spend all your time round at hers rubbing it in how good a guy you could've been for her... and kick that b*tch Brian's ass!!! ('less he's bigger than you, then, i dunno, just sheepishly avoid him )

Katie, i'm sorry to here about Trent, that must've been really hard on you... as for youe other exes, i hate guys like that, why get into a relationship if you're just gonna mess around all the time? least (hopefully) you've found somebody that'll treat you the way you deserve (did you meet him here? just doing some sherlockness from your sig...)

as for me, i'm engaged to a great girl called Karen (got down on one knee last xmas day - in front of her family!) we share a flat near the center of town (rented) and we are pretty goshdarned happy!!! sure we have our share of arguments, but hey! who doesnt... she doesnt mind my turtle obbsession - she's even gotta mention in a letters page in TMNT vol 4 (issue 15!!) she rocks!!

[Hannah]

Punch her in the ovaries.

[KROW]

I felt wary about her when you mentioned her sleepover a while ago.

DH's advice is very sound. Yet, I'll add a little something extra: When you go on about your life and these lies and accusations hit you, laugh -- laugh and shrug them off; even if they might get to you on a personal level. If you're slightly worried about your reputation and image (though I know you're not that kind of guy), laughing at ridiculous things like this helps you not only get over it and handle it better, but it gains you respect from your peers.

The same thing happened to me. My ex cheated on me, but I didn't break down in tears and sob for hours on end (not assuming you did -- just using this as an example). Oh, I felt like utter crap at first -- I'm only human -- but after thinking about the situation, I matured and kicked her out of my life and my house. Whenever the incident would be brought up later, I would scoff and say that I've washed my hands of it and that boat has sailed. It impressed my peers and helped me get through the rough edges.

Basically, what I'm saying is to pretend it doesn't bother you, even if it might.

[Draconic]

Originally Posted by Hannah

Punch her in the ovaries.

Or a headbutt would be sufficient. If you want to know how, look it up in the Alphabet of manliness, I think it's under A, for Asskicking.

[Katie]

Yup. Main thing to remember is that SHE was the one who did wrong, not you. Her behavior is just her way of feeling better about herself. She knows she was wrong.

Originally Posted by tookie

least (hopefully) you've found somebody that'll treat you the way you deserve (did you meet him here? just doing some sherlockness from your sig...)

He's a great guy...absolutely amazing in every way. Maybe I missed my chance, maybe not...only time knows. On the rest, my lips are sealed

[Spitfire]

A few updates, and thank ya all for the insight I DO read and take it to heart.

I have more then distanced myself from her. Not only will I never speak to her again on my own free will I will never see her again on my own free will.

Nancy is coming to my house*Many miles away from where Mai is* and staying the weekend. On top of that my Mom and me got a new phone plan completely Mai free. I have deleted every piece of her from my daily life, and my internet life as well. The only left are prom pictures that I would throw away if they weren't just a high school memory.

But yeah she's a whore and I can tell Nancy is allot different.

[damnhooligan]

Be mindful not to rush yourself into a new relationship, simply to fill the new void in your life. It's cool that you've found someone you like to hang out with and it's a good way to realize that not all girls are as high maintenance and manipulative as your last. But I suggest you take this time to chill, have fun and enjoy the single life.

And with that, I leave you to ponder the sagely words of a highly accomplished doctor and one of the greatest minds of our century.
Bitches ain't sh*t but hoes and tricks. Hoes and tricks, indeed.

[Peanut]

Originally Posted by damnhooligan

it's a good way to realize that not all girls are as high maintenance and manipulative as your last.

Oh, yes they are.