E3 2009 predictions/hopes.

[Ninjinister]

We got next to squat about info, going in, so here's what I predict:

-There will be a lot of games that have been out for months (perhaps as far back as February) that will still get pimped like they're still something new and fresh.
-Nintendo will unveil some sort of new hardware (could be something as minor as a controller or some add-on doodad), be very vague about what it does, only giving rudimentary tech demos, and everyone will go nuts for it. Sony will unveil their analogue to said device, show the full extent of it, and even some actual games that utilize it, and the entire occupancy of the expo will yawn collectively.
-Microsoft will reveal that they threw money at a company whose big game series is usually thought of being associated with Sony, until they finally agreed to release the next installment of said series on Xbox 360 as well. Microsoft's spokespeople will then act like any other company would if they had gotten the game exclusively.
-Reggie Fils-Aimé will make an ass out of himself, and people will cheer, pretend he's a badass, and write fanfictions of him making out with Chuck Norris.
-A bunch of low-rent companies will show prototypes of pie-in-the-sky consoles (most of which are just dedicated PCs with a plastic shell) and handhelds, all of which will be doomed to tank or never even see release.
-Nintendo's big game of the show will be Wii Run. Players use the balance board to jog in place. The late Fred Berry is an unlockable character to use in place of your Mii.
-Subsequently, Nintendo will reveal no solid news on any new Super Mario, Kirby, Metroid, Smash Bros., Zelda, Donkey Kong, or Pikmin games for the Wii, other than maybe another lame Mario sports title (Mario Curling!). Fans will whine about them not making "core" games for them, but still continue to jiggle Nintendo's collective balls in hopes of something next year.
-A bunch of RPG making legends will collaborate on a new intellectual property for the Xbox 360. Nobody will ever play it.
-Instead of dropping the price of the PlayStation 3, or maybe even introducing a new, slimmer, cheaper model, Sony will introduce yet another version of the PS3 that has more doodads and hard drive space, but no proper backwards compatibility and it costs $1000.
-Exactly 69 booth babes will be groped by sweaty nerds. 10% of those nerds will be female.
-Shigeru Miyamoto will do something endearing when he makes his entrance to the stage (undoubtedly to announce Wii Run). 700,000 people will use the one photograph that was taken of this event as their avatar on message boards, accompanied by the text "Long live Shiggy!"
-Lame versions of games everyone played three years ago will show up on iPhone and other mobile phones.
-A s***ton of new Rock Band and Guitar Hero games, as well as spin-offs and rip-offs.
-Desperate to milk every cent out of movie licensed games, developers will announce video game versions of the new Tyler Perry film, Piranha 3-D, Hairspray 2, Slumdog Millionaire, Beverly Hills Cop 4, The Life and Adventures of Santa Claus, and whatever the next thing Adam Sandler's going to be in is.
-Everyone actually saves their big announcements for the next PAX.

Now, as for what I hope will happen:
-A version of Metroid Prime Hunters for the Wii will be unveiled.
-More information about the next No More Heroes.
-A new Super Mario and Zelda game for the Wii, just to shut people up.
-Killer Instinct 3
-Sony and Microsoft will finally get their heads on straight and fix their backwards compatibility.
-Wii gets CD and DVD playback, legitimately.
-Some solid info about Virtual Handheld on DSi.
-As a 360 owner-to-be, something that will actually excite me coming onto the 360 (perhaps the aforementioned KI3?)
-A cheaper PS3 that isn't nerfed to Hell.
-Sony unveils a new model to the PSP, and it doesn't have the UMD drive removed.
-Something worth giving a crap about on WiiWare other than Mega Man 9 (which I already have), Contra ReBirth, and Squibs Arcade.
-Some truly epic new fighting games are revealed. Among them - Street Fighter IV on more than just the consoles known at this time, a new Mortal Kombat, Smash Bros. on DS, the return of Last Blade, and Darkstalkers HD remix.
-Sega reveals Streets of Rage 4 and it rocks. HARD.
-Ubisoft finally reveals Shredder and at least two more characters for Smash-Up.