Got Any Jokes?? - Page 2

*The Stryker* · 02-07-2013, 11:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AT-Man

Pyramid Head: knock knock!
Nurse: Who's there?
Pyramid Head: Lettuce.
Nurse: Lettuce who?
Pyramid Head: Lettuce in.
Nurse: *opens the door* dohohohoho!
she was violently raped to death

Holy sh*t

NOTHING in this thread is funny but....what the hell is this even attempting to be?

*ToTheNines* · 02-07-2013, 11:42 AM

What does an angry pepper do?

He gets jalapeno face!

LH · 02-07-2013, 12:14 PM

Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?

....

To get to the bottom!

*Guitar_Raph* · 02-07-2013, 12:27 PM

CORNFIELD TIME

(Crow caws)

GRANDPA: Have you heard about the one about the rope?
JUNIOR: I don't think so?
GRANDPA: Skip it.

CHARLIE: I heard the the high school principal wore nothing!
MISTY: Maybe she wanted to get the boys attention!

BUCK: Roy, they came up with a new tonic made out of yeast & shoe polish.
ROY: Yeast & shoe polish? Who would buy that?
BUCK: For those who want to rise & shine!

MINNIE: What's a Colt 45?
LULU: A middle aged horse.

LAVERN: My friends tell me that you would look great on the cover of Vogue or Bazaar.
IDA LEE: Why thank you. Wish they could see that through my messy face.
LAVERN: They do. People tell me that they never seen anyone look more out of vogue or as bizarre as you do!
(Ida Lee hits Lavern with rolling pin)

SCARECROW: Has Guitar_Raph gone country? He's a hick @ heart.
(Crow caws @ him)

KATHY: That's all!

*snake* · 02-07-2013, 01:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 19thCenturyGhost

Um.

Here's my attemp at another one. (a simple

'BOO!' will do if you hate it. Thank you very much

oh and please don't come in here with a chainsaw and try cutting off my head.

)

Dude One: And what do you learn from "Cinnamon Toast Crunch"?
Other Guy:

That cannibalism is OKAY!
Dude One: *_*

(Okay that sucked.

Oh well. )

BOO

*snake* · 02-07-2013, 01:58 PM

This thread belongs in the disintegrator unit.

*AT-Man* · 02-07-2013, 02:10 PM

*AT-Man* · 02-07-2013, 02:17 PM

Another Nietzschean joke:

What is brown and lies dead in the gutter?
Rusty God.

**Jester** · 02-07-2013, 02:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AT-Man

Spoiler:

Ok...that was kinda funny.

Blossombrooks · 02-07-2013, 02:27 PM

I said to my husband 'Hand me that newspaper'
'Don't be silly,' he said, 'Here use my iPad'

That spider never knew what hit it....

*XERO* · 02-07-2013, 03:21 PM

How did the Grim Reaper die?

He touched himself.

*Lethal Lullaby* · 02-07-2013, 04:34 PM

Why?! Have I been cursed to be BORING? Could it be that I'll never be able tell anything funny? (Yes because you suck) I can't even make fun of myself without it failing! (Are you done yet?) NO- okay yeah I am.

Warning: possible bad joke, but I just gotta try again.

Knock knock.
Who's there?
The-
*slams the door shut*

*The Stryker* · 02-07-2013, 04:57 PM

Even your attempts at quirky self deprecation are awful.

*Voltron* · 02-07-2013, 08:03 PM

I have to agree with Stryker here, Ghost. You may be one of those people who're funny when they aren't trying to be.

I had a friend who only dated fat, white trash girls. He believed he could see ghosts and insisted he killed one with his car once. He rarely showered, was covered in cat hair, and failed out of remedial community college courses.

The moment he tried to make a joke, I stopped laughing at him.

**Jester** · 02-07-2013, 08:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Voltron

I have to agree with Stryker here, Ghost. You may be one of those people who're funny when they aren't trying to be.

I had a friend who only dated fat, white trash girls. He believed he could see ghosts and insisted he killed one with his car once. He rarely showered, was covered in cat hair, and failed out of remedial community college courses.

The moment he tried to make a joke, I stopped laughing at him.

Right....a "friend"....

*Voltron* · 02-07-2013, 08:31 PM

Listen, my friends laugh at me when I do stupid things or make poor life choices. It's what guys do. If I end up being a fat moron with an even fatter girlfriend, and the two of us form some sort of schizophrenic scooby-doo mystery inc. thing with my magic ghost killing car, I expect to be laughed at. In fact, it's the only humane thing to do.

The problem with the world today is that stupid people aren't laughed at and ridiculed enough.

Hell, if we were just a little crueler, we could fix Congress in a week-tops.

*Lethal Lullaby* · 02-07-2013, 08:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Stryker

Even your attempts at quirky self deprecation are awful.

I like your comments.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Voltron

I have to agree with Stryker here, Ghost. You may be one of those people who're funny when they aren't trying to be.

I had a friend who only dated fat, white trash girls. He believed he could see ghosts and insisted he killed one with his car once. He rarely showered, was covered in cat hair, and failed out of remedial community college courses.

The moment he tried to make a joke, I stopped laughing at him.

Okay. New plan. You guys do the joke telling.

EDIT: Of course. This says, "Got any Jokes??" Meaning that I shouldn't be telling the jokes, but you guys should be. (I think I'm one of the few that find AT-Man's jokes kinda amusing. Then again I like dark humor)

**Jester** · 02-07-2013, 08:44 PM

As the say, Voltron, "there shouldn't be a death penalty for stupidity, just take the warning labels off of everything and let nature take its course."

*Guitar_Raph* · 02-07-2013, 09:14 PM

What did the electrician say to the physician when he couldn't pay the light bill?

Watt's up Doc!

*Lethal Lullaby* · 02-07-2013, 09:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jester

As the say, Voltron, "there shouldn't be a death penalty for stupidity, just take the warning labels off of everything and let nature take its course."

Haha

I agree.

02-07-2013, 12:27 PM	#24
Guitar_Raph Superhero musician Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Dallas, Texas Posts: 2,191	CORNFIELD TIME (Crow caws) GRANDPA: Have you heard about the one about the rope? JUNIOR: I don't think so? GRANDPA: Skip it. CHARLIE: I heard the the high school principal wore nothing! MISTY: Maybe she wanted to get the boys attention! BUCK: Roy, they came up with a new tonic made out of yeast & shoe polish. ROY: Yeast & shoe polish? Who would buy that? BUCK: For those who want to rise & shine! MINNIE: What's a Colt 45? LULU: A middle aged horse. LAVERN: My friends tell me that you would look great on the cover of Vogue or Bazaar. IDA LEE: Why thank you. Wish they could see that through my messy face. LAVERN: They do. People tell me that they never seen anyone look more out of vogue or as bizarre as you do! (Ida Lee hits Lavern with rolling pin) SCARECROW: Has Guitar_Raph gone country? He's a hick @ heart. (Crow caws @ him) KATHY: That's all! Last edited by Guitar_Raph; 02-07-2013 at 02:21 PM.

02-07-2013, 02:10 PM	#27
AT-Man I SEEN IT Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: FIN Posts: 2,206	__________________ Through the Golden Door

02-07-2013, 02:17 PM	#28
AT-Man I SEEN IT Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: FIN Posts: 2,206	Another Nietzschean joke: What is brown and lies dead in the gutter? Rusty God. __________________ Through the Golden Door

02-07-2013, 02:27 PM	#30
Blossombrooks Stone Warrior Join Date: Oct 2012 Location: 'hero' turtle land Posts: 946	I said to my husband 'Hand me that newspaper' 'Don't be silly,' he said, 'Here use my iPad' That spider never knew what hit it.... __________________ There's too much green to feel blue! http://blossombrooks.deviantart.com/

02-07-2013, 03:21 PM	#31
XERO Hybrid Theorist Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Alamo City Posts: 8,184	How did the Grim Reaper die? He touched himself. __________________ "Travel at the speed of light... then hit the nitro!"

02-07-2013, 11:42 AM	#22
ToTheNines Col. Stinkmeaner Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts: 19,230	What does an angry pepper do? He gets jalapeno face!

02-07-2013, 12:14 PM	#23
LH Leatherhead Join Date: Dec 2012 Posts: 1,705	Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? .... To get to the bottom!

02-07-2013, 01:58 PM	#26
snake Disgusting Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Outer Heaven Posts: 12,231	This thread belongs in the disintegrator unit.

02-07-2013, 04:34 PM	#32
Lethal Lullaby Foot Elite Join Date: Jan 2012 Posts: 4,816	Why?! Have I been cursed to be BORING? Could it be that I'll never be able tell anything funny? (Yes because you suck) I can't even make fun of myself without it failing! (Are you done yet?) NO- okay yeah I am. Warning: possible bad joke, but I just gotta try again. Knock knock. Who's there? The- slams the door shut Last edited by Lethal Lullaby; 02-07-2013 at 04:43 PM.

02-07-2013, 04:57 PM	#33
The Stryker Stupid Rich Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Room 237 Posts: 11,152	Even your attempts at quirky self deprecation are awful. __________________ @~<3 Mom~@

02-07-2013, 08:03 PM	#34
Voltron Handsomest Boy in School Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: The Realm of SJW Posts: 4,642	I have to agree with Stryker here, Ghost. You may be one of those people who're funny when they aren't trying to be. I had a friend who only dated fat, white trash girls. He believed he could see ghosts and insisted he killed one with his car once. He rarely showered, was covered in cat hair, and failed out of remedial community college courses. The moment he tried to make a joke, I stopped laughing at him. __________________ I AM FOR ACTUAL! . . . and the White Savior. . . and the Right Hand of God. . .

02-07-2013, 08:31 PM	#36
Voltron Handsomest Boy in School Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: The Realm of SJW Posts: 4,642	Listen, my friends laugh at me when I do stupid things or make poor life choices. It's what guys do. If I end up being a fat moron with an even fatter girlfriend, and the two of us form some sort of schizophrenic scooby-doo mystery inc. thing with my magic ghost killing car, I expect to be laughed at. In fact, it's the only humane thing to do. The problem with the world today is that stupid people aren't laughed at and ridiculed enough. Hell, if we were just a little crueler, we could fix Congress in a week-tops. __________________ I AM FOR ACTUAL! . . . and the White Savior. . . and the Right Hand of God. . .

02-07-2013, 08:44 PM	#38
Jester Rat-faced Dude-guy Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Arkansas Posts: 26,297	As the say, Voltron, "there shouldn't be a death penalty for stupidity, just take the warning labels off of everything and let nature take its course." __________________ "Clearly, you're Ninja Turtling incorrectly." - Leo656

02-07-2013, 09:14 PM	#39
Guitar_Raph Superhero musician Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Dallas, Texas Posts: 2,191	What did the electrician say to the physician when he couldn't pay the light bill? Watt's up Doc!