[Fanfic] TMNT Movie Script

[ZariusTwo]

Originally Posted by BubblyShell22

Wow. Awesome poster. Thanks for sharing it, Zarius.

Thank Blossom for making it. I'll definatly be using it as the image for the novelization on FF.Net, and, permission withstanding, the cover for the script on Deviantart

[Blossombrooks]

Originally Posted by ZariusTwo

Thank Blossom for making it. I'll definatly be using it as the image for the novelization on FF.Net, and, permission withstanding, the cover for the script on Deviantart

No problem Zarius, and of course you can use it however you want

[BubblyShell22]

Thanks for making an awesome cover, BB. It's great.

[ZariusTwo]

New sample

Spoiler:

(Donatello and Baxter observe the manufacturing of the mousers)

DONATELLO:
Remarkable, the mousers operate on that level of frequency? That's the type perfected by the sonar of bats.

BAXTER:
Oh it's much, MUCH sharper than that, watch how quickly the mouser maneuvers through this brick maze towards the exit

(Baxter eyes up the mouser, he pulls out a stop watch, he places the mouser in the maze and activates his watch, the two keen minds look on as the mouser chews through the brick walls and towards the end of the maze)

DONATELLO:
It just chewed its way out

BAXTER:
Just look at the time it took to accomplish that

(Baxter stops his watch, Donatello reads the time)

DONATELLO:
Fifteen.eight seconds. Incredible

BAXTER:
Average time for an average task. That's why we always aim big.

DONATELLO:
And how long does it take a building to come down with things like this working away at it?

BAXTER:
You watch the news don't you?

DONATELLO:
Whenever I can...brothers permitting

BAXTER:
They know us to be sixty-minute mysteries...we always try to aim a little shorter though. Our work on "The Portal" took us a record setting forty-two minutes. Come Monday, we'll be aiming for thirty.

DONATELLO:
Half the time? Meh, not a bad score

BAXTER:
And you can do better?

DONATELLO:
I only repaired the mouser unit we tracked in fifteen.

BAXTER:
Fifteen.

DONATELLO:
Fifteen.

BAXTER:
Minutes?

DONATELLO:
...And thirty-eight seconds. Someone was timing me.

BAXTER:
Really? Interesting...I could do with a quick hand on one of my units...you wouldn't mind taking one back to whence you came and toy with it a little?

DONATELLO:
With permission, I'd love to toy with it a lot. I barely scratched the surface of how it worked the last time, with more minutes I could even hasten its productivity, and give you the means to get your demolition jobs done in even more of a record time

BAXTER:
You're green, not human, your type are all color coordinated like gay pride for ninjitsu... and impossible is written all over you...but...to some frightening degree I think I can trust you on this. You've got a deal

DONATELLO:
I do? Awesome. Thank you so much Mr. Stockman, I really feel we can help each other.

BAXTER:
Come, I'll arrange the handover of the unit personally

(the two walk past the testing of a large container. A scientist, partially shielded by a blast wall, uses a hook to press down on a button and the water content in the container begins to drain, triggering a countdown on a grey capsule visible within it)

DONATELLO:
What is that anyway?

BAXTER:
A dive bomb. A new type of explosive held in check by tight levels of water pressure. When the container is drained, it triggers an optional countdown procedure

DONATELLO:
And that ticks away to...what?

BAXTER;
Well what do you THINK bombs are for?

DONATELLO:
Don't know. Never seen one in action.

(The container drains, the timer hits "zero", and the capsule ignites, triggering a small explosion that rips the container apart)

BAXTER:
A mind of science and no concept of war....I envy you with every passing second Mr. 'Tello

DONATELLO:
..Dona...

BAXTER:
... is for girls. I'll call you Mr. 'Tello. Trust me, you'll do fine with Italian

[BubblyShell22]

Oooh, nice conversation between Baxter and Donnie here. You have a few mistakes I noticed: It's just chewed it's way out should be It just chewed its way out, and it's productivity should be its productivity. Other than that, nicely done. I'll be eagerly awaiting an update.

[ZariusTwo]

Whoops. Thanks, it's been corrected now

I caught another mistake, "sixty-men mysteries" should have been "sixty-minute mysteries".

[ZariusTwo]

Working on more pages of this this week, though I sometimes think I'm going overlength (189 pages so far)

[Refractive Reflections]

Originally Posted by ZariusTwo

Working on more pages of this this week, though I sometimes think I'm going overlength (189 pages so far)

LOL, my mind has questioned that about my own fannovel many times. But when I reread the content I wrote, I can see it was worth it for what I'm trying to accomplish.

Is this still going to be a script? Or are you making it into a story? Since you have 189 pages now.

If you have any questions ZariusTwo that I could help you with, feel free to PM me about it and I'll try my best to help.

[ZariusTwo]

Originally Posted by JLS

Is this still going to be a script? Or are you making it into a story? Since you have 189 pages now.

It's going to be both a script AND a novel actually, much like how the audio scripts started out. I'm looking forward to doing the latter more.

Here's a quick sample

Spoiler:

INT: WAREHOUSE

(Conduit is working at the main computer hub, looking over a large map of what appears to be the sewer network. He notices a small blip)

CONDUIT:
Saki, we've got something.

(Saki walks over to the computer hub)

SAKI:
Are you tracking it?

CONDUIT:
They're as good as ours

(Saki turns around and addresses his men)

SAKI:
Stir the beasts. Tonight we dine on Turtle soup.

And a slight tweeking of something I posted earlier in here (had to do some rewrites)

Spoiler:

INT: TRAINING ROOM,
TURTLES LAIR

(April is seen practicing martial arts, she is barefoot and dressed in loose purple jeans and a blue bikini, Her hair is tied back. Master Splinter walks in on her training just as she finishes. She wipes the sweat from her head and notices him. She turns around and smiles)

APRIL:
Hey

SPLINTER:
I see you have been inspired by my students

APRIL:
All in case I come under fire again. Girl can't be tied to the railroad tracks forever, we all can get bored of that routine. I feel I now know what I want, and that’s to get an army prepped, it’s time for revenge

SPLINTER:
Vengeance ages the youth in the heart, and embitters the grace in your spirit

APRIL:
Yeah, well the moment your home comes crashing down before your eyes, be sure those words are on the menu served with plenty of crow

(Splinter points to his head)

SPLINTER:
Home is here. It will be downed only by death

APRIL:
You don’t believe in some kind of afterlife? A better place?

SPLINTER:
Afterlife is an afterthought, best reserved when you understand all that there is about life, but life is an eternal question, forever changing even when you leave it behind.

(April smiles faintly, she doesn’t quite buy into what Splinter means, but she has come to an understanding of his ways and is at peace with his words)

APRIL:
I just…don’t get how you and the others can be so at peace with the world when so much pain has passed before your eyes. Don’t you want to show yourselves? Shout at the world and make them realize how special you are?

SPLINTER:
We are sons of a silent age. A part of history not yet ready to imprint itself on the official version.

APRIL:
What will it take for you to step away from the shadows?

SPLINTER:
Nature is delicate, ever testing itself, tempered by a division of beauty and chaos. For there to be a beginning, there must be a blend

APRIL:
That’s a tall order

SPLINTER:
Everything comes to order. In time.

[BubblyShell22]

Awesome samples. I really liked them a lot, especially the April and Splinter one even if I have seen it before. Nicely done. I'll be eagerly awaiting an update.

[ZariusTwo]

Yeah, I just restructured that one a bit. Sometimes I write out-of-sequence and I didnt exactly know where to place the scene when I came up with it a while back. I finally found a place in the script where I could include it.

[ZariusTwo]

New sample

Spoiler:

INT:
GRAVE'S LABORATORY

(Inside one of the facility's glass chambers, the man identified earlier as Graves is watching a rat make his way through a maze towards a stack of cheese. The rat looks at the cheese and refuses to eat it)

GRAVES:
Good...hunger strike, the desired reaction

(Leonardo walks in, flunked by a storm trooper guard)

LEONARDO:
I'm sorry...Graves is it? I asked around.

GRAVES:
Who wants to know?

LEONARDO:
I do...I need a question answered

(Graves looks at the trooper)

GRAVES:
I told you cowboys never to come in here

STOMRTROOPER:
Can't do that sir, I'm on orders

GRAVES:
Pal, everyone in either a suit or a lab coat gives you orders, and I'm giving you a straight one now. Get out.

STORMTROOPER:
Sir, I really don't think...

GRAVES:
...Yeah, well if you did think, you'd be able to process what Max said earlier. This thing belongs with all the other things, it's our job to learn from them.

STORMTROOPER:
...Yes sir, if you're sure...

LEONARDO:
It's ok, I mean no harm, I just need to know something.

(The trooper turns to leave)

STORMTROOPER:
I'll be outside

GRAVES:
So long as you're out.

(The trooper leaves)

LEONARDO:
Thank you. I tried shaking him earlier, but this place seems to have eyes everywhere, I couldn't evade him

GRAVES:
Don't sweat it, I specialize in process of elimination, people with guns go first, guns can shatter anything and these guys NEVER put them away, they're always pointing them, or worse, putting them to the side, itchy trigger fingers, understandable in a place like this but completely inappropriate in a place like this at the same time, get what I mean?

LEONARDO:
I think...

GRAVES:
Good answer. You THINK. Now, ask away so you can get out too

LEONARDO:
You were called "Rat King the Second" by one of the people here.

GRAVES:
Yeah

LEONARDO:
...This..I'm not sure why I'm so sure myself, but just as the mention of that other name set us off, something about this does the same.. Your people work closely with creatures of all kinds.

GRAVES:
Correct

LEONARDO:
And rats are your thing right?

GRAVES;
Yes, though truth be told I inherited the task from my mentor.

LEONARDO:
...Who was the first "Rat King"

GRAVES:
Answered your own question. Smarter move. Now you can get out much quicke

LEONARDO:
Please...what was his name?

[ZariusTwo]

New sample

Spoiler:

(Michelangelo and Maxwell join them, they are in the middle of their own conversation, talking about Mikey's favourite movie, "The Living Daylights")

MICHELANGELO:
...And then they take out the bridge just like that, BOOM. Those resistance fighters are the kind I want in my back pocket when the going gets tough

MAXWELL:
That's all well and good, but...when you think about it...you realize Bond was being helped by what would come to be known as theTaliban right?

MICHELANGELO:
...What's a Taliban?

(Maxwell shakes his head. Michelangelo spots Donatello)


MICHELANGELO:
How we doing bro?

DONATELLO:
I've got some homework to do, and I'd like to get started as soon as possible. Let's gather everyone up and head on home

MICHELANGELO:
But this place is awesome

DONATELLO:
It'll still be here when we get back...that is, if we're allowed back

MAXWELL:
You're more than welcome. You're our living legacy, you can expect the best of care from us should you require it

DONATELLO:
We'll be back as soon as we can, come on Mike

(As Michelangelo and Donatello make their way out of the department, Michelangelo turns back and waves)

MICHELANGELO:
We'll keep in touch, you guys have got to make me something for Christmas

(Donatello drags him away)

DONATELLO:
Let's be humble about all this shall we?

MICHELANGELO:
Dude, let them spoil us, after all they're family

MAXWELL:
It's a promise son.

(After they leave, Maxwell turns to Baxter)

MAXWELL:
Speaking of promises Baxter...when are you getting my answering machine fixed? I sent it to the shop months ago

BAXTER:
Oh it's on the way Max, though you really should settle for a cell phone

MAXWELL:
I'm old fashioned.

BAXTER:
To a stubborn degree

Also...some exciting news on the way. More details later.

[BubblyShell22]

Awesome samples. I noticed one mistake in the first one though: You can get out much quicke should be You can get out much quicker or you can get out quicker. Other than that, good job. I'll be eagerly awaiting an update.

[Refractive Reflections]

The two above samples look good so far, but for me script samples are a little more difficult to interpret the scenery and emotional environment.

But anyways, in regards to the content it seems good and intriguing so far with getting a chance to know about the enigmatic Rat King's backstory. As for the second sample. Hmmm.... the Taliban....? Baxter....? This seems interesting. It appears this Maxwell character knows a lot.

By the way ZariusTwo, is this supposed to be in a particular universe? Or is it a combination of several universes? I saw the line, "Keep in mind that, as an experiment, and just for the sake of debate, I will be taking SLIGHT liberties, TMNT has always been about reinvention, so I won't be 100% faithful to the comics", so that's why I was asking.

[ZariusTwo]

Originally Posted by JLS

By the way ZariusTwo, is this supposed to be in a particular universe? Or is it a combination of several universes?

It's a completly new continuity. A bastard child blending of the comics and bits and bobs of the original 'toon, and a LOT of my own original ideas for the characters.

The Taliban thing doesnt have much to do with the plot, I was just making a wry comment about Mikey's favourite Bond movie looking a lot more ackward in the context of history, don't look too far into that.

If you're having difficulty with the visuals, don't worry, the novelization will be more up your street...and it's coming sooner than even I thought.

[Refractive Reflections]

Originally Posted by ZariusTwo

If you're having difficulty with the visuals, don't worry, the novelization will be more up your street...and it's coming sooner than even I thought.

Eh...it's not necessarily difficulty with the visuals, and I don't mind scripts in themselves, but sometimes (at least with other writers) it's hard to line up what the writer is trying to convey and what the reader is trying to interpret from the scene beyond just the dialogue. That's all...

[ZariusTwo]

Originally Posted by JLS

Eh...it's not necessarily difficulty with the visuals, and I don't mind scripts in themselves, but sometimes (at least with other writers) it's hard to line up what the writer is trying to convey and what the reader is trying to interpret from the scene beyond just the dialogue. That's all...

I completly understand, though are bits in the script that are a lot more detail freakish, which makes novelizing it a lot easier later down the line

[ZariusTwo]

New sample

Spoiler:

MICHELANGELO:
Alright Bat-Fink, this party dude is calling time on yours

WINGNUT:
...Where is the woman?

MICHELANGELO:
Wait. Hold everything...say that again

WINGNUT:
The woman, where is she...

MICHELANGELO;
No, no, say it EXACTLY the way you said it last time. For a minute there you sounded exactly like Nuclear Man..

(Wingnut looks at him funny)

MICHELANGEO:
You know...from Superman IV? I caught it on Netflix just a few hours ago. He was infatuated with this chick and he went out searching the city for her. He was all "where is the woman", and Superman was all "give it up, you'll never find her", and then he was all "If you do not tell me, I will hurt people" . He didnt hurt them though, he just lifted them really high in the air. That film was so lame

WINGNUT:
You're a joker.

MICHELANGELO:
I try my best

WINGUNT:
I led a whole pack of jokers.

MICHELANGELO:
Cool. What happened to 'em?

WINGUNT:
They died.

MICHELANGELO:
Woah...tough room for their jokes or something?

(Wingnut lunges at Michelangelo and swipes away at him with his talons, Mikey does his best to avoid them, but one talon hits the target, cutting Mikey across the chest)

MICHELANGELO:
Not funny. That is NOT funny.

[BubblyShell22]

Awesome sample. I love the last line the best. Not funny indeed.