Top 5 delusions in the TMNT universe

[onyx]

5. If Raph sticks his sai into any machine, it lets out sparks and breaks down.

We've seen it countless times, in both the old toon and the new one. It doesn't matter what it is - a generator, a vehicle, a computer... The sai seem to be the ultimate machine enemy. Instructions - just jab with the sai anywhere on the machine and it will stop working. Guaranteed. Bonus - lots of sparks.

4. The turtles are sweating.

And not only that, it seems to be mostly (if not always) Don. They aren't supposed to do that, are they?

3. No matter how compicated it is, Don can always fix\make it.

Don appears to have some super-mind-powers that we're unaware of. He's not just your regular geek who can write a mIRC script or, god forbid, a whole website platform. Besides his excellent skills in programming, he's also a brilliant ingeneer, a mechanic, a scientist and a pilot. And that is with close to no financial resources... I keep wondering where he gets all the parts and tools needed He knows everything about computers, TV, electricity, hellicopters, robots, submarines, rockets, alien technology he never saw, future technology that isn't even invented in his time and so on, and so on. And on top of that, he had time to become a ninja. Go figure.

2. Wearing a hat and clothes or some stupid mask will let you walk unrecognized in the streets despite the fact that you're a mutant turtle.

Come on, they are short, they looks fat because of the shells, they are all green, they have 3 fingers and 2 toes. Clothes can't hide that. Any normal person would instantly notice that they aren't human. But yet they walk in the streets and even talk to people. Sometimes even without masks on their green faces. Not that a rubber mask would make them more human, but a turtle face smiling at you on the street is simply ridiculous.

1. The turtles are telepathic and are always where the action is.

You name it - anywhere in New York and even all around Europe (in the old toon), in the future, the past or in space - whereever a villain plots his plans, the turtles are there. Yes, they do read minds. Yes, it's scary.

That's my top 5, I'm looking forward to seeing yours This thread is meant simply for fun, so please, let it be like that instead of trying to explain things in a realistic way. Let's just laugh a bit

[iris]

These are not delusions, sugar. These are FACTS.

[gobo]

iris sure knows how to have fun...
*to iris* Don't hit me in front of everyone please.

[Dragnskull]

the tmnt actually have 3 toes the extended heel is actually a toe

[Masked Ninja]

I don't mind the sweating, because they couldn't pull off those crazy ninja moves and be cold-blooded at the same time. That's some mutagen!

How about "Swords can easily slice through staves and wooden weapon hafts - except when they can't." Sometimes they'll play it realistic (the blade nicks or maybe gets stuck a little into the wood) and sometimes that thing will snap like it's made of straw.

Correlary of the sai delusion - "While the sai is causing the machine to spark alarmingly and short out, Raph never suffers electrical shock if he happens to be holding the sai at the time."

"Bad guys are always horrible shots. The Turtles can often stand still and have an entire strategic discussion, while lasers and bullets harmlessly pepper the ground around them. Meanwhile, when the TMNT or their allies get their hands on a gun, they often have enough skill to hit whatever they're aiming at, first shot."

Which is why the children's cartoon niche can get slightly annoying, even when the maturity factor gets pushed as far as they'll let it for Saturday morning TV.

[gobo]

Originally Posted by Masked Ninja

"Bad guys are always horrible shots. The Turtles can often stand still and have an entire strategic discussion, while lasers and bullets harmlessly pepper the ground around them.

You might want to rething your first statement there. Ever considered how hard it is to get shots so close without hitting the target? That's impeccable marksmanship! Besides, the bad guys knew better than to let harm come to the stars of the show. They knew that the tv execs would never go for The Bebop & Rocksteady Hour or The Iron Fist of Shredder. Us fans might have loved 'em, but we don't get to greenlight the spin-offs.

[ThemanthatwouldbeRaphael]

I'm sorry, reading those just makes me laugh. It's too funny.

Here's a delusion.

Leonardo can seem to slice and mask or clothing off someone without even leaving a slight scratch. That just kind wierds me out. Especially in Prodigal Son when he cut Karai's helmet completley off despit only salshing the front of it.

[Buslady]

Originally Posted by Masked Ninja

I don't mind the sweating, because they couldn't pull off those crazy ninja moves and be cold-blooded at the same time. That's some mutagen!

Not to mention pull those moves off with bodies made of bone which shouldn't even be as flexible as it is. hehe...

Correlary of the sai delusion - "While the sai is causing the machine to spark alarmingly and short out, Raph never suffers electrical shock if he happens to be holding the sai at the time."

Answer for Raph: Leather insulation.


Turtles actually have 5 fingers, 4 toes..why the TMNT have only 2 toes (and a supposed opposite heel/toe which makes no sense to me) and two fingers and opposable digit, I'll never know.

[DrSpengler]

Over-analysis AHOY!

1: The turtles aren't covered in poop all the time. Not including the new toon, where they lived in a pretty sterile environment, in other fictions they *really* live in the sewer, they jetski in pools of human excrement, wade in it, slosh around in it. By all logic they should smell incredibly bad and gross the hell out of everyone they meet.

2: Michelangelo somehow gets new comic books every wednesday. I know, he probably goes to the shop "in disguise", which you already mentioned just shouldn't work.

3: THEY HAVE NO GENITALS.

4: Michelangelo can break just about any structure, including metal, with his nunchakus. It was mostly a problem in the old toon, but he knocked apart a few mousers in the new show with his wooden sticks on a chain.

5: Michelangelo talks like a surfer. Raphael talks like he's from Brooklyn. Don and Leo are dialect-free. They were all raised by a guy with a Japanese accent. What happened, here?

[Tora_Chan]

Originally Posted by DrSpengler

Over-analysis AHOY!

2: Michelangelo somehow gets new comic books every wednesday. I know, he probably goes to the shop "in disguise", which you already mentioned just shouldn't work.

5: Michelangelo talks like a surfer. Raphael talks like he's from Brooklyn. Don and Leo are dialect-free. They were all raised by a guy with a Japanese accent. What happened, here?

Too much TV?

For the other one, it's also strange that Mikey even has money to buy comics. Where do the TMNT get all the money for pizza from?

[Spawn Guy]

1: Splinter took the TMNT in when they were simply normal baby turtles and he was a normal every day sewer rat, apparently with the intention of cleaning them as opposed to eating them.

2: Mike seems the most lazy of the guys when it comes to training, yet has enough skill to wield a pair of weapons that could crack his skull open if he wasn't careful.

3: No matter how many Foot Solders, aliens, demons, robots or whatever kind of minions there are, the TMNT can use their weapons as handles and sweep the floor with them.

4: Splinter learned every single ninja style, how to teach them, the history of the man who owned him, and the name of the man who killed that man before being showered in an alien chemical that mutated him into an intelligent humanoid creature who could walk, talk, and raise four mutant turtles. And just for the hell of it...

5: ...he can speak English. And Japanese. When he's lived in an American sewer for most of his life.

[DrSpengler]

Originally Posted by Tora_Chan

Too much TV?

For the other one, it's also strange that Mikey even has money to buy comics. Where do the TMNT get all the money for pizza from?

It sorta reminds me of this one episode of the Tick, where the Tick and Arthur go visit the Sewer Urchin in his sewer lair. They walk in and there's this big chauldren full of money. Sewer Urchin says "You'd be surprised at what people throw away".

Either than or they just take the money from the thugs they beat up. That's what *I'd* do, anyhow.

[Spawn Guy]

I have this sudden urge to look up Tick episodes on YouTube. Thanks Doc!

[Sewer Bull]

Originally Posted by DrSpengler

It sorta reminds me of this one episode of the Tick, where the Tick and Arthur go visit the Sewer Urchin in his sewer lair. They walk in and there's this big chauldren full of money. Sewer Urchin says "You'd be surprised at what people throw away".

Ha! I remember that episode. One of the best Tick eps ever.

OK - here's my list.

5. Don = teh uber technician. Onyx has already explained why, so I won't repeat after him.
4. Foot Clan. This organization is obnoxious. Either robots or human beings - they suck at fighting seriously... And they're always coming one by one to their opponents. Poor Shredder... having such moronic subordinates. But did he ever train them, at least ONCE? I highly doubt that.
3. A van and a blimp with their logo wandering around NYC - even at times they allegedly posed a serious threat to the community.
2. Pizza. And no, I'm not talking about the money for it. I mean the sole pizza as a dish. I mean... why do they even eat it? Why has Splinter allowed that? He's their goddamn Sensei, after all. Eating sushi all day long should be way healthier and cheaper.
1. Crappy trenchcoats and fedoras that don't cover anything at all. Well put by onyx.

[iris]

Originally Posted by gobo

iris sure knows how to have fun...
*to iris* Don't hit me in front of everyone please.

Well where would you like me to hit you then?

[DrSpengler]

One thing that irritates me about the new show, and to an extent, the old show, as well:

There is practically NO traffic in New York City. Have any of you ever *been* there? It's gridlocked day and night! Yet the TMNT are always prowling the streets which are completely empty.

[Anarky]

What always bothered me
How do the TMNT pee?
They do not have a dong
neither short nor long.
And they never wear clothes
no matter how hard the wind blows.
So face it, dude
They are nude!
So my question is this
How do the TMNT pi**?

...yes, I was feeling poetic.

[KROW]

How is it possible to spot delusions about a group of turtles mutated by an alien substance into large humanoids, who not only are able to learn martial arts skills, but travel through time, fight aliens, and have their fingers on the pulse of pop culture? It almost seems fruitless.

Originally Posted by DrSpengler

It sorta reminds me of this one episode of the Tick, where the Tick and Arthur go visit the Sewer Urchin in his sewer lair. They walk in and there's this big chauldren full of money. Sewer Urchin says "You'd be surprised at what people throw away".

Speaking of delusions and The Tick, I like how in certain episodes he's able to do almost anything like surf and pilot a biplane.

Like Tick would say, "Mysteries abound."

[Sewer Bull]

Originally Posted by KROW

How is it possible to spot delusions about a group of turtles mutated by an alien substance into large humanoids, who not only are able to learn martial arts skills, but travel through time, fight aliens, and have their fingers on the pulse of pop culture? It almost seems fruitless.

Damn you spoilsport you.

[Raph's Girl]

Money: The turtles secretly have jobs. In the new movie they earn money thru Michelangelo playing a clown at kiddie parties. There was also an ep where they got jobs very easily. Don had a job in a junk shop, Raph was a clown at kiddie parties, and Mike had a cooking show.....they did this WITHOUT discguises. WTF?

In the latest ep of TMNT Fast Forward Cody gives Leonardo a credit card thing "Here's money! You might need this!" And Leonardo looks at it and goes "Money???".... He looked like he was thinking "WTH am I supposed to do with this now???"

Sewers: They're actually cleaner than one might think. In Paris they even give tours of their sewer system. Seriously... I watched a thing on the learning channel the other day on the history of sewers!

Fact: Turtles eat rodents.
Fact: Turtles DO live in sewers (at least in Australia where they found an Aligator Snapping Turtle in the sewer, took him to the Sydney reptile park and named him Leonardo)

Sweating: The mutation changed their metabolism so that they can sweat...duh...

Fact: It's been scientifically proven that pizza is healthy for you and is known to prevent certain cancers.

Splinter: He knows Japanese cuz he was born in Japan. He wasn't a normal rat to begin with since he followed the movements of his sensei in his cage....he learned alot and apperantly learned it for years even tho rats only live for 2 - 3 years. In the original story Oroku Saki was a BOY of like 12 when his brother was killed by Yoshi and an adult when he became Shredder. Splinter must have been at least 10 or more. Again...not normal for a rat.

In the current toon Splinter was apperantly a wild rat, not domesticated, and already an adult (probably around 8 months) when he entered the lives of Yoshi and Teng Shen. Again... not normal! No wild rat would be friendly to a human! Wild Rats are mean even if you raise them up from kittens (that's what baby rats are called).