I CAN'T OPEN MY EYES!! (Blonde moments)

[Ra]

Despite being a brunette I'm quite prone to having 'blonde moments'. You know, moments where you tend to do and say... very stupid things. To the point where you wonder if you were dropped on the head at some points in your life for you to do, think, or say things you normally wouldn't do, think, or say.

This morning I woke up, the sound of birds chirping in my ear, the sound of the wind blowing leaves by. So I try to open my eyes. To my shock and horror, the most simplest of tasks has been rendered impossible.

Exhorting more force, I try to open them again, this time they are only partly open. For some reason they are stuck together in the middle. THIS IS IT!! I was blind! How ironic! After a life of seeing I was now blind!!

After about ten or so seconds wondering WHY my eyes were suddenly not working like eyes should, I rub at them. To my confusion I am suddenly able to open my eyes. I look down to my fingers and see dried up sleep crust.

It was retarded. It defied ALL logic. How in the world did I forget about something as simple as sleep crust? It was... stupid. Even for me, and even though it only lasted for a few seconds, it was just plain stupid. You wouldn't even think someone would actually THINK that.

Anyways, Blonde stories. Let's hear them kids.

[Ninjinister]

In before a blonde complains about the title.

[Sage Ninja]

Originally Posted by Ra

Despite being a brunette I'm quite prone to having 'blonde moments'. You know, moments where you tend to do and say... very stupid things. To the point where you wonder if you were dropped on the head at some points in your life for you to do, think, or say things you normally wouldn't do, think, or say.

This morning I woke up, the sound of birds chirping in my ear, the sound of the wind blowing leaves by. So I try to open my eyes. To my shock and horror, the most simplest of tasks has been rendered impossible.

Exhorting more force, I try to open them again, this time they are only partly open. For some reason they are stuck together in the middle. THIS IS IT!! I was blind! How ironic! After a life of seeing I was now blind!!

After about ten or so seconds wondering WHY my eyes were suddenly not working like eyes should, I rub at them. To my confusion I am suddenly able to open my eyes. I look down to my fingers and see dried up sleep crust.

It was retarded. It defied ALL logic. How in the world did I forget about something as simple as sleep crust? It was... stupid. Even for me, and even though it only lasted for a few seconds, it was just plain stupid. You wouldn't even think someone would actually THINK that.

Anyways, Blonde stories. Let's hear them kids.

sounds like you have pink eye.

[Ra]

It isn't. Trust me.

[Mutated Turtle]

Originally Posted by Ra

Despite being a brunette I'm quite prone to having 'blonde moments'. You know, moments where you tend to do and say... very stupid things. To the point where you wonder if you were dropped on the head at some points in your life for you to do, think, or say things you normally wouldn't do, think, or say.

This morning I woke up, the sound of birds chirping in my ear, the sound of the wind blowing leaves by. So I try to open my eyes. To my shock and horror, the most simplest of tasks has been rendered impossible.

Exhorting more force, I try to open them again, this time they are only partly open. For some reason they are stuck together in the middle. THIS IS IT!! I was blind! How ironic! After a life of seeing I was now blind!!

After about ten or so seconds wondering WHY my eyes were suddenly not working like eyes should, I rub at them. To my confusion I am suddenly able to open my eyes. I look down to my fingers and see dried up sleep crust.

It was retarded. It defied ALL logic. How in the world did I forget about something as simple as sleep crust? It was... stupid. Even for me, and even though it only lasted for a few seconds, it was just plain stupid. You wouldn't even think someone would actually THINK that.

Anyways, Blonde stories. Let's hear them kids.

Was it Black eye?

[Ra]

... Last time I try making discussion...

[gobo]

I often ask people for help locating things that are right in front of me. Gone to return rental movies a few times and didn't realize 'til I got to the store that I left the movies at home.

Originally Posted by Ra

How in the world did I forget about something as simple as sleep crust?

First time I'm hearing of it... Only time I ever experienced such a thing, it was pink eye... about 25 years ago. Is this an 'arid climates' phenomenon perhaps?

[XERO]

I can relate on the eye crust', Ra. It's happened to me plenty of times.

You're not alone.

[Koi]

:l

I have tripped on air, manage to rip off skin on a flat wall, managed to trip on a wall, accidentally used yogurt instead of sour cream, run into glass doors, search for the doorknob on a door, stop randomly and just stand because I have no idea what I was going to do, trip on someone else's shoe laces, jumped on a bed fell off and bunked my head, accidentally drank hummingbird food (I thought it was my glass of water), misread ingredients and put 1 cup of salt in a lemon tart batch, walked into a wall, one time I forgot to breathe because I was thinking about it to much, I can't remember 3 + 4 sometimes for the life of me, choked on air, etc, etc, etc.

...I have my moments.

[gobo]

How is it that you're still alive?

[ToTheNines]

My sister's blonde and she didn't know what Mt. Rushmore was until like 8th grade. She also had no idea what a mime was for quite some time, and had no idea what the proper name for "speed bump" was until she was 15.

I'm thinking she's just more of a dumbf*ck than a blonde, but who knows?

[Archon_Turtle]

Back when I drank...

I stumbled into the bathroom of my local coffee shop whilst drunk (a one toilet kinda thing). The door closes behind me, and the light is off. It is now pitch black.

So I say to myself, "Man...it's really dark in here...I don't want to pee in the dark. Crap...what am I going to do? It's really dark!"

Soooo I end up peeing in the dark, because NOT ONCE did it ever occur to me to...turn the ****ing light on.

[Koi]

Originally Posted by gobo

How is it that you're still alive?

I am just very lucky ^^;

[ooglafina]

Originally Posted by Arella

:l

I have tripped on air, manage to rip off skin on a flat wall, managed to trip on a wall, accidentally used yogurt instead of sour cream, run into glass doors, search for the doorknob on a door, stop randomly and just stand because I have no idea what I was going to do, trip on someone else's shoe laces, jumped on a bed fell off and bunked my head, accidentally drank hummingbird food (I thought it was my glass of water), misread ingredients and put 1 cup of salt in a lemon tart batch, walked into a wall, one time I forgot to breathe because I was thinking about it to much, I can't remember 3 + 4 sometimes for the life of me, choked on air, etc, etc, etc.

...I have my moments.

Is your real name Bella Swan?

[Koi]

Originally Posted by ooglafina

Is your real name Bella Swan?

;_; that has to be the worst thing I have ever been called.

lol

[Sage Ninja]

Originally Posted by Arella

:l

I have tripped on air, manage to rip off skin on a flat wall, managed to trip on a wall, accidentally used yogurt instead of sour cream, run into glass doors, search for the doorknob on a door, stop randomly and just stand because I have no idea what I was going to do, trip on someone else's shoe laces, jumped on a bed fell off and bunked my head, accidentally drank hummingbird food (I thought it was my glass of water), misread ingredients and put 1 cup of salt in a lemon tart batch, walked into a wall, one time I forgot to breathe because I was thinking about it to much, I can't remember 3 + 4 sometimes for the life of me, choked on air, etc, etc, etc.

...I have my moments.

I have my klutz moments. I can relate to the choking on air bit. It happened once when I was yawning. Thing was I was in class and the teacher just happened to look right at me when it happened and she was like "WTF...are you ok? How did you choke?"

I once called AAA, waited 20 minutes for them to show up because I thought I had locked my self out of my car. It just so happened I wasn't really locked out, the doors was just frozen shut because it was 10 degress out. All it took was a few mighty tugs from the AAA guy to get it opened.

What sucks is that I did try tugging on it. But i guess I wasn't strong enough to get the doors unstuck. I still felt like the biggest dumb ass on the planet though.

[Kali]

Originally Posted by Sage Ninja

I once called AAA, waited 20 minutes for them to show up because I thought I had locked my self out of my car. It just so happened I wasn't really locked out, the doors was just frozen shut because it was 10 degress out. All it took was a few mighty tugs from the AAA guy to get it opened.

What sucks is that I did try tugging on it. But i guess I wasn't strong enough to get the doors unstuck. I still felt like the biggest dumb ass on the planet though.

My mom's got you beat. She once called me because she locked her keys in the car. So I walk the spare keys up to her, and go to get in the car so she can drive us home, and the other door was unlocked the entire time.

I've got moments of my own, of course. Forgetting where I put things, forgetting really simple words, and, well, mostly forgetting things.

[ToTheNines]

Originally Posted by Archon_Turtle

Back when I drank...

I stumbled into the bathroom of my local coffee shop whilst drunk (a one toilet kinda thing). The door closes behind me, and the light is off. It is now pitch black.

So I say to myself, "Man...it's really dark in here...I don't want to pee in the dark. Crap...what am I going to do? It's really dark!"

Soooo I end up peeing in the dark, because NOT ONCE did it ever occur to me to...turn the ****ing light on.

Since we're telling drunken stories...

Just this weekend, some dumbass kid brought a fifth of vodka to a party my friend was having. Once someone opened it they started compaining that it was water, he didn't believe them so I chugged the whole thing to prove him wrong/embarrass him. I was already pretty drunk and didn't realize it was pool water (the kids dad did it when he found the bottle), chlorine and alcohol explode when mixed.... I'm sure the hot wing sauce didn't help either.

So I hurled a ton, but on the bright side I don't even remember it. I'm never drinking in excess again.

[SassyGal]

I picked up a shift at work for a Monday afternoon and when you pick a shift up @ my work, you have to go down to the scheduling area to initial the shift pick up and it has to be done no later than 12pm the day before the shift. So I went down there and pulled out the binder to sign for shift and I couldn't find it in the binder, so I ask one of the guys there where the heck my shift was. The guy said it's in the book and I said there's no tab for Monday so how can I sign for my shift? He kinda smiled and shook his head before telling that Monday doesn't have a tab because it's the first page. I felt so ridiculous!

Personally, I blame the recent change in hair colour for this blonde moment!

[Sage Ninja]

maybe this section should be renamed "Dumb things I've done" instead of Blonde moments.