So I lost my Dog Today

[Gin Rummy]

I was 10 years old in 2000 when Buck came into my life. It was April 1st. and all spring long my Family was searching the Animal Shelters of Bangor, Maine for a new pet. It had been years since our previous Dog's death, and my siblings and I were all very excited.

I remember when my Mother can into the living room to tell us that they could not get the Siberian Husky that we looked at a week earlier. We were all disapointed. "Does this mean we're not getting a Dog?"

With that my Father poked another Dog's head around the doorway. and the little furry face looked right at me. April Fools. (The best one ever played on me.)

Buck was a 2 year old Beagle who came with his own Backstory. He was born in Northern Maine, Breed to be a hunting Beagle. But he was brought out much to early, and was traumatized by the loudness of the gunfire. Thus making him worthless as a Hunter's dog.

Buck and I bonded quickly. Living on a Farm at the time, We lead a very active lifestyle together. At Dinner he'd beg for scraps, and at night he'd hop up in my Bed, and burn up the sheets with his little Space heater body.

Buck was with my Family through thick and thin. In 2003 my Father lost his job do to outsourcing. And we ended up losing our home. We spent the better part of a calender year living night to night in a single bed Motel room. It was Bad, but Buck was always by my side.

In 2005 things got better. My Family relocated back down to Boston for My Father's new work. & Buck came with us. Things were good again. and buck enjoyed running the roost at our new Apartment.

As the years rolled on Buck's health started to fail. Our Big Family began to shrink as my siblings left for University. But despite slowing down, and suffering from Deafness, as well as Arthritis, Buck Happy go Lucky persona never changed. not a bit.

Towards the end of 2012. Buck began to develop large tumors on his Rectum. The Clinics we took him to told us that though the tumors were benign, the mass was larger on the inside. and Was inoperable for a Dog his age. We were told to make him as comfortable as possible.

As 2013 rolled on my only hope for Buck would be that he would make it to see Christmas. When I was young, My Siblings and i relished the idea of the mountain of Christmas Presents as many children do. Obviously, This changed as we got older. For Everyone but Buck. He was still a Toddler in a Dog's body, It was always a thrill to watch as he opened up all of his gifts, Tearing into the wrapping paper, Pulling out bags of treats & Toys. Having a Blast! I was so happy for him, He made it! He saw Christmas! I still remember vividly. him laying amongst a pile of wrapping paper, Sleeping under the tree. With all his new Toys.

In January of 2014. His Tumor had swelled to nearly the size of a Peach. and Defecation had become a Symphony of Agonized Screams at 3 in the mourning! He was failing. My Family knew he was close to the end. We took him to more specialists, But they could do little more than offer medication to soothe his pain.

I new I owed my friend a better end. He was Suffering. and More tumors were developing. I just could not accept that i was going to lose him. The idea of euthanasia nauseated me. I could not willingly End his Life! He's my Best Friend! He relies on me to take care of him! I can't hurt him! I remember laying in bed, staring at the wall, Wishing he would Pass on in his sleep. But he never did, Every mourning a woke up to that weak little tail waggling. I was Stuck. He was in Pain.

On the Mourning of March 17, 2014. My older brother woke me up to tell me that Buck was bleeding. I come to find that the tumor had raptured. It looked bad. real bad. He was not in pain. But the reality hit me like a ton of bricks. This is it. There is no way in hell that this is not going to get infected. If he is not put down He will die 2 Months form now from a Massive Infection. The guilt was immense. How could I have let this happened. I allowed my friend to suffer like this for months because I couldn't act. I owed it to Buck to give him a peaceful end.

Buck the Beagle was euthanized at 12:00 noon that very same day.

My Heart is Broken. Buck was more than my Friend. I looked to him in my Adult life as the living embodiment of my Childhood. So many memories flood back when i think of him. He was always there, and Now he is not. The Pin is unmeasurable. But I'm happy that he is at Peace. He deserves it.

-

Thanks to anyone who reads my jumbled words here. I'm not much of a writer, more of a ranter. I made this more more me than anyone else. it's kind of therapeutic.

If anyone else has a story of losing a pet, feel free to post about it.

RIP Buck. from Andy.

[Gin Rummy]

[Type 97 Chi-ha]

My condolences. Losing a pet is far worse than some people realize.

[MisfitKraang]

I know how that feels its one of the worst feelings to lose a pet that grew so close to you and is more than a friend, My Mugsy died 3 years ago i felt the same way about him the way you do about buck I wish you the best

[Donatello19]

I am so, so sorry...I can't imagine how terrible you must feel. But hey...it's not all bad, you have to look at it this way: He's not suffering anymore. At least now he's not in pain...as terrible as it was for him to pass on, it's better than him suffering each and every day, isn't it? You'll always have him in your memories, dude...and again, I am so, so sorry...I hope you feel better soon.

[LeotheLateBloomer]

I am sorry for your loss. I would feel awful if my dog died. Losing a pet is one of the worst feelings in the world.

[TheCanadiandrome]

May condolences on your loss, I'm very sorry

[Candy Kappa]

I feel your pain, last summer I lost my pet turtle Macgyver from drowning. It still hurts like hell.

[Whatswiththeheadbands?]

I'm so sorry. I can so relate to that.

I love dogs of all kinds, and my dog is my best friend. Out of all of my family members, I do the most for my dog.

When you bond with your dog, they become more than just a pet. They become part of your life, and could never be replaced.

[Powder]

As the owner of an aging beagle, this brought me to tears. My little guy has some lumps they say are just fatty deposits but they grow in size & numbers as time goes on, which concerns me. I'm truly sorry for your loss, I can't imagine how it feels. I hope at least you can take comfort in knowing you brought them nothing but joy in their time with you, and that you did the right thing in the end. He looked like a very sweet friend.

[Walkabout]

Sorry to hear it, the worst part of having pets is losing them.

The last one (dog) I had pass away died in my arms, I cried like a baby.
She was a border collie and she got to 19 and a half (we got her at ...our dogs are very much part of the family and get very good lives so I just remember the good times.

[BubblyShell22]

My condolences for your loss, GR. It's never easy to lose someone you love. I felt that way when Toby died and even though he wasn't technically my dog (he was my sister's) I still felt like he was my dog because I took care of him a lot and bonded with him. But you'll always have memories of him, and he'll be reborn in another form, so you may just see him again sometime.

[Icebot]

Sorry for your loss. My pet dog Brandy passed away about 9 years ago. I've been missing her like crazy lately.

[zkarlette]

I'm really sorry for your loss. I lost my dog last year he was a King Charles cavalier spaniel and we had to put him down after his heart condition started to give him seizures and there was nothing more the doctor could do for him , he was nine years old, it was the hardest most horrible experience ever, he died in my arms,that dog meant so much to me an till this day I'm having a lot of trouble getting that image out of my head and coming to terms that he isn't here with us anymore specially since he used to follow me everywhere.