What is your Battle Cry?

[Dinogrrl]

Okay, found this on another board and found it hilarious:

http://bdmonkeys.net/~chaz/battle.php

It generates a really gross battle cry based on your user name, or any name really. It can turn up some seriously sick but hilarious ones too. Here are two of mine:


Prowling along the wasteland, brandishing gilded boxing gloves, cometh Dinogrrl! And she gives a low howl:

"I'm going to smash you until you are no longer smashable!!!"


Hark! Who is that, prowling across the freeway! It is Downundergrrl, hands clutching a jeweled meat hammer! She cries apocalyptically:

"I'm seriously going to pulverize you in such an inhumane manner, your blood will flow counter-clockwise!!!"


A warning to people though - it can turn up some adult themed battle cries as well, so I leave it to people as to whether they want to post those or not, given forum rules. But hey, discover the inner barbarian and have some gory fun.

[Taloniss]

Real Name: "I'm going to hump you in such an inhumane manner, your pets won't recognize you!!"

User Name: "I'm going to reduce you to ash, and sell you as spice!!!"

I'm not sure which one I like better...

[Bowser_Koopa]

i'm satisfied U_U

"As sure as predators devour prey, I swear that on this night, you shall dine in hell!!!"

[Storm Wolf]

hmmm....interesting...I did a few of my common board/chat room names...and even my real name.

Running through the tundra, swinging a burning branch, cometh Tiger Powers! And she gives a mighty howl:

"Blood and souls for my dark lord! The enemy is as grass before my mighty tempest!!"


Lo! Who is that, skulking on the wasteland! It is Toxic Wolf, hands clutching buzzsaw hand extensions! And with a spectacular howl, her voice cometh:

"By Odin's mighty spear, I shall traumatize the entire planet!!"

Lo! Who is that, skulking amidst the terrain! It is Storm Wolf, hands clutching two hardened pitas! She bellows ominously:

"In the name of malice, I sow darkness and discord until there is no more hope!!"

Real Name:"I'm going to bruise you until you **** molton lava!!!"


why do i kinda get that lo down feelin....like i am a villan of some sort?

[Brodie]

Username: Skulking across the steppes, wielding a meaty axe, cometh Brodie! And he gives a mighty bellow:

"I'm going to flog you until you're a Dungeons & Dragons statistic!!"


Realname: "I'm going to bruise you beyond mortal comprehension, then make toast!"

[Bowser_Koopa]

under Leonardo:

"I'm seriously going to pummel you so badly, you will wake up from the Matrix!!!"

thats weird under buzz lightyear i got:

"I'm going to smash you until you are no longer smashable!!"

i was expecting something like: "to infinity and beyond!"

[Storm Wolf]

I had to do Raphael....

"I'm going to forcibly reverse your gender!!!"

heh heh...

[Voltron]

"I'm going to smack you like it's my job"

[PizzaPower]

Prowling on the cliffs, swinging a reflective halberd, cometh PizzaPower! And he gives a cruel howl:

"I'm going to forcibly reverse your gender!"

[Leo656]

Interesting....

My real name: "Vengeance and goo flow from my veins! You are made of meat and I am very hungry!"

My user name: "I'm going to forcibly reverse your gender!"

My AIM name: "I'm going to bludgeon you until the sun burns out!!"

My nickname ("The Franchise"): "For the love of beatings, I bring annihilation and cheap beer!"

My high school nickname ("Heavy Metal"): "I'm going to punch you for such a long time, your screams will reanimate the dead!!!"

And two just for the hell of it...
Hulk Hogan: "As sure as predators devour prey, I carve into flesh until my loins find satisfaction!!!"

Kevin Nash: "I'm going to beat you like a first grade teacher!!"

Good stuff... amazingly accurate

[Tetsu Deinonychus]

Using Tetsu Deinonychus:

Skulking out of the candy store, swinging a sharpened screwdriver, cometh Tetsu Deinonychus! And he gives a bloodthirsty bellow:

"Brace yourself, oh human speck of dust! I shall make bloody music with your nation's populace!!!"


Using Zero Deinonychus:

Lo! Who is that, rampaging out of the hotel lobby! It is Zero Deinonychus, hands clutching an oversized scalpel! He cries vengefully:

"As sure as predators devour prey, I bring darkness and mayhem with God on my side!"


Using X3:

Yea, verily: Who is that, rampaging amidst the fields! It is X3, hands clutching a piece of chainlink fence! And with a bloodthirsty roar, his voice cometh:

"Hail the blood-letting! I plunder until everything has croaked!!"

D00D Th3z3 R t3h Rokxxxx!

[Kali]

I used my name, then my name with two different "last names" I use on different message boards. I like the first and last ones best.

Running amidst the fields, attacking with a bladed baseball bat, cometh Kali! And she gives a mighty cry:
"For the love of carnage and discord, I carve into flesh like a river of pure piranha!"

Running on the tundra, clutching a bladed baseball bat, cometh Kali Gargoyle! And she gives a cruel howl:
"I'm going to punch you for such a long time, your blood will flow counter-clockwise!"

Skulking over the cliffs, clutching a reflective halberd, cometh Kali Shedemon! And she gives a bloodthirsty roar:
"In the name of Thor the Mighty, no flesh shall be spared!!!"

[That Matt Guy]

Username: Running out of the tundra, attacking with a mighty sword, cometh Matthew138! And he gives a vengeful grunt "I'm going to flog you into a fine spicy powder!!!"


Real Name: Running on the plains, cutting down all who dare stand in the way using a jeweled meat hammer, cometh Matthew Shirley! And he gives a spectacular grunt "I'm going to flog you into the fourth dimension!!"


Adolf Hitler: Sprinting amidst the cliffs, clutching a bladed baseball bat, cometh Adolf Hitler! And he gives a mighty bellow "I'm going to beat you with such zeal, you'll reincarnate as an X-file!!!"

[DarkNinja]

Wow, how original:

Running over the wasteland, wielding a bladed baseball bat, cometh DarkNinja! And she gives a mighty bellow:

"I'm going to bludgeon you like a first grade teacher!"


I like it!

[Kid Icarus]

"I'm going to beat you backwards in time!"

[Meira-Bates]

ArashiPanduh: "I'm going to unleash oven cleaner in your pants!!!"

Pandakame: "For the love of carnage and discord, I slice through beating hearts like a river of pure piranha!!"

Littlepandalost: "As sure as predators devour prey, I shall paint the town a sanguine shade of doom!"

Arashi_Bara_Torari: "I'm going to pound you like a first grade teacher, and plug you into a power plant!"

Omajinai:"I'm going to brutalize you beyond your expiration date, then make toast!"

Real name: "I'm seriously going to cram objects into you from every conceivable angle!!"

[Stone Ill]

Username:
I'm seriously going to bruise you until you pee fire, and throw you out the airplane door!!

AIM Name:
Blood and souls for my dark lord! I shall make bloody music with your nation's populace!!!

First Name:
I'm going to flog you until you acquire caulrophobia, and add a notch to my bedpost!!

First/Last Name:
I'm going to spackle you with wasabi!!

First/Middle/Last Name:
In the name of Thor the Mighty, I plunder with reckless abandon!

Ash Williams:
I'm going to contort you until time and space have no meaning!!!

Casey Jones:
I'm going to hack into your brain, and type FORMAT C: !!!

[XERO]

Username: Yea, verily: Who is that, rampaging over the cliffs! It is Benvenuto, hands clutching a bladed baseball bat! And with a booming howl, his voice cometh:

"I'm going to punch you until your mom feels it in her womb!!"

Real name: "I'm going to hack into your brain, and type rm -rf!!!"

[Leo656]

--Rampaging across the cliffs, swinging a thorned whip, cometh W. Axl Rose! And he gives a low howl:

"I'm seriously going to beat you beyond capacity, and then some!"

--Who is that, stalking out of the terrain! It is Hollywood Hulk Hogan, hands clutching gilded boxing gloves! He roars vengefully:

"I'm going to pierce a hole in you the size of God!"

--Yea, verily: Who is that, running through the tundra! It is The Hulkster, hands clutching a studded crowbar! And with a cruel cry, his voice cometh:

"I'm going to brutalize you like a rabid gangsta bitch!!"

--Hark! Who is that, prowling along the tarmac! It is "Big Sexy" Kevin Nash, hands clutching a vorpal blade! And with a spectacular roar, his voice cometh:

"I'm going to defoul you so utterly, Jesus himself will forsake you!!!"


--Striding over the candy store, wielding gilded boxing gloves, cometh "Big Daddy Cool" Diesel! And he gives a gutteral bellow:

"I'm going to make you cry like the bitchiest bitch!!"


--Sprinting out of the freeway, brandishing an oversized scalpel, cometh Snake Plissken! And he gives a bloodthirsty bellow:

"You in some **** now, muhfuh! I shall traumatize the entire planet!!!"

My old AIM name
--Hark! Who is that, stalking on the mountains! It is AXLHulkster, hands clutching a studded crowbar! He cries thunderously:

"I'm going to bludgeon you with such zeal, the Earth will spin twice as fast!!!"



EDIT:
--Rampaging along the candy store, clutching a bladed baseball bat, cometh Jeff Jarrett! And he gives an ominous scream:

"Ares, God of War, be praised! I pilliage and burn like a klepto-pyro!"


--Prowling through the tundra, carrying gilded boxing gloves, cometh Chris Benoit! And he gives a mighty cry:

"I'm going to **** you until you're pissing ****, and roll you in creamy neugut!!!"


--Running along the tarmac, cutting down all who dare stand in the way using a bladed baseball bat, cometh "The Crippler" Chris Benoit! And he gives a low grunt:

"I'm going to spank you like a wrecking ball, and launch you into deep space!"


--Who is that, striding along the freeway! It is Kal-El, Last Son Of Krypton, hands clutching a vorpal blade! He grunts gutterally:

"Vengeance and goo flow from my veins! I pillage like the world's mightiest bad-ass!"

[XERO]

I had to do this one.

Prowling across the icy wasteland, clutching a sharpened screwdriver, cometh Michael Jackson! And he gives a gutteral bellow:

"I'm seriously going to brutalize you until you purr like a bitch-kitten!!"