Interview With Michael Bay: Talks About Problems With TMNT

[IndigoErth]

Saw this asked on another forum:

would the movie "the Bible" by Michael Bay be any good?

Now I'm not a theist of any sort, but were it true I have to admit the prospect of Bay pissing he/she/it off is kind of appealing.

[LeoRaph]

Yeah, the He-Man movie was fun. Surprisingly dark movie for a kid's franchise back in 87 but maaaaaaaaaan Frank Langella makes that for me.

[Leo656]

SKELETOR: Leave them alone. He-Man is my slave. As long as I let them live, he is bound by his word. Let them rot...... ((laughs)) .........Let them rot.

SKELETOR: Witness this moment, He-Man! This moment where the powers of Greyskull will become MINE for eternity! Our life-long battle is ending at last in the only way it could! When the Great Eye opens... the people of Eternia will see you kneel before me, just before you DIE!
HE-MAN: I'll never kneel to YOU!
SKELETOR: YES, YOU WILL! YES, you will! Or I shall wreak unforgettable harm upon you!

SKELETOR: Do you hear?! The Alpha... and the Omega! DEATH and REBIRTH! And as you die... so will I be Reborn!

SKELETOR: NOW! I, Skeletor, am MASTER of the Universe! YES! Yes... I feel it, the power... FILLS me! YES, I feel the universe within me! I am... I am a part of the cosmos! Its energy flows... flows through me! Of what consequence are you now? This planet, these people, they are NOTHING to me! The universe is power - pure, unstoppable POWER! And I am that force! I am that POWER! ...KNEEL BEFORE YOUR MASTER! ...Fool! You are no longer my equal! I am MORE than man! More than LIFE! I... am... a... GOD! Now. You... will... KNEEEEEEEEL!!!

SKELETOR: YOU! You will no longer stand between me and my destiny!
HE-MAN: But I WILL! I told you, it's always been between US!
SKELETOR: I ache to smash you out of existence! To drive your cursed face from my memories FOREVER!
HE-MAN: ENOUGH TALK!
SKELETOR: YES! LET THIS BE OUR FINAL BATTLE!!!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I... can't readily recall movie villain dialogue that's honestly better than this. Frank Langella is a straight-up pimp.

[LeoRaph]

That's it, I gotta get the dvd after Christmas! Soooo many good moments, brings back a lot of memories.

Argh crap seems the local dvd store here doesn't have it at all have to ebay it instead...I don't know why I never bought it in the first place...

[Leo656]

It should come free in the mail to every household along with those little samples of Tide. Ought'a be a law.

[Commenter 42]

Originally Posted by IndigoErth

Saw this asked on another forum:

Now I'm not a theist of any sort, but were it true I have to admit the prospect of Bay pissing he/she/it off is kind of appealing.

Google Iron Sky Trailer, the second coming. I'd post it here but, well, you know...

[newhire13]

I've been saying that I feel like the movie that hit theaters was not the movie they originally made and this really supports that theory.

[Leo656]

And I'VE been saying they didn't have a real "script" to speak of, and... I kinda think more than ever that that's true, also. Or they DID have one and just ignored most of it, like the first Wolverine movie.

[TrickOrTreater]

Originally Posted by Leo656

And I'VE been saying they didn't have a real "script" to speak of, and... I kinda think more than ever that that's true, also. Or they DID have one and just ignored most of it, like the first Wolverine movie.

It's amazing how, on one end, you have a movie like Iron Man where they barely had any script at all and still managed to produce a fantastic movie that launched something almost unparalleled in cinema.

Then, you have this movie that not only goes through several complete scripts, most of them bad, and produces a, not so shockingly, bad movie.

Just fascinating to me.

[Leo656]

To be fair, as long as the suit looked cool, people were gonna be real, real forgiving about Iron Man, no matter what else happened. But yeah it's pretty good.

[pennydreadful]

Originally Posted by Leo656

Apparently, the other books were "Red Herrings", "Sky High", and "Buried Treasure", all written by Dave Morris, and there were other ones I didn't have. Son of a... now I gotta hunt them down.

I had "Red Herrings" as a wee kidlet! And also the Ninja Turtles joke book... which had the most godawful jokes known to mankind.

[Leo656]

I wonder if any of the jokes were re-used for the little joke books that came with various TMNT merchandise back in the day, specifically, as I recall, the dress-up kits.

Those jokes were even worse than the ones Bill Hicks stole from Denis Leary.

[Powder]

"Laugh Like a Drain Dudes!"

What in the turquoise f*ck does that mean?

[IndigoErth]

Drain? Is this 80s/90s humor I've forgotten?

[Hannurdock]

Leatherhead scene from Sky High;

Spoiler:

SKY HIGH - Page 30

Splinter pressed back as Leatherhead's massive jaws gaped wide. It wasn't that he was afraid, but Leatherhead had appalling bad breath. "Who?" he asked.

"I am Leatherhead!" announced the crocodile-man in a gutteral voice.

"We fought him once before, master," explained Raphael. "He used to be a human, but he was changed into this form by a transmo ... by a transmat ... oh, by some weird gadget."

Leatherhead gave a great roar that rattled the wall of the pipe. "Turtles," he said. "I remember you. You are enemies of the Shredder."

"Yeah, that's right, buster," said Michaelangelo, leaning past Splinter, "and you don't much like the Shredder after he tried to trick you, as I recall. Well, he's right here and -"

"I know that!" growled Leatherhead. "He brought me along to help him, but he told me to hide down here in the sewer when I'm not needed. Now it looks like that was a lucky choice of hiding place, because it brought you five straight into my jaws."

Splinter barely flinched as Leatherhead's grinning snout pressed forward. "Your attitude hardly seems rational," he said calmly. "Why work for the Shredder if he tricked you before?"

"He's promised to turn me back into a human being," snapped Leatherhead.

"And you believed him?" said Raphael. "Boy, Leatherhead is hardly the word: you should be called Clothhead. You've got less brains in you than a leather satchel!"

"Yeah, you make Bebop and Rocksteady look like winners of Mastermind," put in Donatello.

"I know what you're trying to do," said Leatherhead with a huge cold grin. "You're trying to make me lose my temper so I do something dumb; but it won't work .... Hmmm, now I must say that I'd rather have turtle for starters and then rat to finish, but I guess I'll just have to take you as I find you."

"Let me past, master," pleaded Michaelangelo, anxious for his teacher's safety.

"I am in no danger, thank you, Michaelangelo," replied Splinter evenly, drawing a kusari-gama from his robe. This was no practice weapon, but the real thing. He brandished the shaft, which ended in a scythe-blade and allowed the iron ball to swing freely on its chain.

"Huh!" snorted Leatherhead. "What're you going to do with that, tunnel rat? It won't even pierce my hide."

Splinter just smiled, "Nor do I want it to. I get no pleasure from inflicting injury on dumb animals."

At this, Leatherhead gave a roar of rage. Suddenly Splinter jerked back his hand and the kusari-gama ball swung round to strike Leatherhead right on the snout. It did not seriously hurt him, but it caused his eyes to water with the pain.

"Crocodile tears?" said Splinter. "Maybe you're upset at the thought of what an ugly blighter you are."

This taunt was the last straw for Leatherhead. Bellowing ferociously, he opened him jaws and lunged forward, intending to bite Splinter in half. But the ninja master was as agile as he was wise, and he effortlessly dodged the clumsy attack of his tear-blinded opponent. Leatherhead's teeth snapped shut on thin air, and the next instant Splinter had wound the kusari-gama chain securely around his snout.

"That will hold him," Splinter told his pupils. "Crocodils have great strength when it comes to biting, but the muscles for opening the jaw are much weaker."

"Wow, master," said Michaelangelo, peering past him at the struggling saurian, "where'd you learn that? Is it part of your advanced ninja education?"

"No, Michaelangelo, I actually saw it in an old Tarzan film that was on TV last week."

[pennydreadful]

Originally Posted by Leo656

Those jokes were even worse than the ones Bill Hicks stole from Denis Leary.

Don't make me come over there, mister...

Originally Posted by Powder

"Laugh Like a Drain Dudes!"

What in the turquoise f*ck does that mean?

I never understood what it meant either!!!

[BubblyShell22]

Originally Posted by IndigoErth

Saw this asked on another forum:

Now I'm not a theist of any sort, but were it true I have to admit the prospect of Bay pissing he/she/it off is kind of appealing.

I'm not a theist either, but I'd love to see the backlash from the religious community if this was made.

[Candy Kappa]

Originally Posted by IndigoErth

Saw this asked on another forum:

Now I'm not a theist of any sort, but were it true I have to admit the prospect of Bay pissing he/she/it off is kind of appealing.

I donno. I can see Bay do some stories from the Old Testament/Torah, Imagine when Yhaweh murders 100.000.000 Ethiopians...

...But, with explosions!

Yeah, it wouldn't be a serious movie, but it could be fitting with the Bible action that's going with the Russel Crowe as Noah movie and now the all white Egyptian Exodus featuring Batman.

[Prowler]

Hardly surprising. The development of this movie was a flippin' mess from the beginning to the end. First the Turtles were gonna be aliens, then Shredder was gonna be white, etc.

[Xiewin]

So now it's bay fault that movie turned from a brooding action movie to a cheesy kiddie one?

ughh Michael Bay...