What ever happened to Dawn of the Ninja?

[oldmanwinters]

Man, this thread is somethin' else.

[Leo656]

Originally Posted by Coola Yagami

lmao concerned citizen.

It's not my place to "out" everyone who sends me an unsolicited FB link, guv'nah.

Originally Posted by oldmanwinters

Man, this thread is somethin' else.

I'm convinced that the sheer will of schadenfreude is the ONLY thing that even keeps this place alive anymore. Just the sheer mass of "Everything Is Terrible, Always, and by the way You're Stupid" that comes pulsing out of absolutely everyone, always. It's grand.

[oldmanwinters]

Originally Posted by Andrew NDB

Also amusing... after leaving Luke when he blew his life savings on "Dawn of the Ninja," his "hot wife" became the CEO of a retirement/401K/money managing company. I wonder what the inspiration was?

https://www.faithteope.com/

Hey, good for her.

That website gives me a weird double entendre vibe...

Spoiler:

[Leo656]

Wow, that whole middle section about "surviving financial abuse" reframes this entire conversation in a very dark manner.

Y e a h, I think it's all about as clear as it can be without her putting a flashing neon header on her page that says "MY EX BLEW ALL OUR MONEY ON A PIPE DREAM COMIC ABOUT GODDAMN NINJA TURTLES, DEAR GOD LADIES DON'T DATE TMNT FANS FOR YOUR OWN SURVIVAL THESE PEOPLE ARE NUTS OMFG YOU GUYS"

Which, y'know, to her credit... yeah. Too bad for her she had to find out the hard way, though. Hopefully she didn't have to chew the whole leg off to get out of the snare.

It's like I've been saying here for YEARS now: Anyone who loves TMNT that much, to the degree that guy's professed to... run. Don't walk, f*cking RUN. As a brand, it doesn't deserve half of the devotion it gets from the "normal" fans, let alone the full-blown fanatics. "TMNT is my faaaaaaaavorite thing and oh by the way I'm gonna make a movie about it one day!" That's like, yeah... they could say "I have a human head in my freezer" and it wouldn't be as much of a red flag as them saying "TMNT is my favorite thing evar." The human head thing could just as well be for some kind of science experiment or amateur taxidermy project, but there's simply no excuse for loving TMNT that much.

At least the universe seems to have landed all the players in this fiasco on their feet, relatively speaking. So, there's that.

EDIT: But yeah the "Use Me" thing is also pretty WTF.

And like I said, the blonde doesn't quite suit her.

[frank_one]

"Use me", sitting on her throne with leather pants.

Well, I would "use" her, that's for sure. I guess these kind of toys get expensive pretty fast, though.

[oldmanwinters]

Originally Posted by Leo656

EDIT: But yeah the "Use Me" thing is also pretty WTF.

The page even has a "Stalk Me" section.

Originally Posted by Leo656

I think it's all about as clear as it can be without her putting a flashing neon header on her page that says "MY EX BLEW ALL OUR MONEY ON A PIPE DREAM COMIC . . .

That is almost t-shirt worthy.

[Leo656]

How very professional.

I'm now convinced this "retirement money business" thing is just a tax dodge and she's really a high-price call girl. Otherwise whaaaat the actual f*ck is with that sh*t.

You can't just actually put "Use Me/Stalk Me" on a f*cking legitimate business page and actually provide a real service, right? Am I nuts? Like this is definitely a covert sex/porn thing, it HAS to be... right? I mean for one thing, look at her. The only 6- or 7-figure business a chick who looks like that runs is selling her used panties online. "Generally speaking".

This rabbit hole is getting deeper and more complex all the time. Definitely wasn't expecting all that when I clicked for a chuckle over coffee.

EDIT: "Let's split it wide open"? Uhhhh YEAH she's definitely NOT selling "retirement advice".......

Christ almighty, is that what "planning for retirement" has come to nowadays? Imagine being like 70 and your biggest sway in hiring a financial planner is "I went with the chick who had a ton of sexual innuendos on her website, that seemed like a solid way to go." Imagine being the WIFE of said 70-year old and having to go with him to meet this chick to discuss where your 401K is gonna land.

But yeah, nah, she HAS to be a hooker or a cam girl or SOME thing, with a presentation like THAT. What the actual f*ck?!

[AquaParade]

TMNT is way cooler than He-Man or My Little Pony, to be fair.

But it clearly has the strangest hardcore-fans, for sure. Also, many of them somehow became, like, "brand ambassadors" or something, which was just our luck.

Probably set the franchise back, if anything.

[Prowler]

I have never even heard of this.

...and now I'm wondering why I have even opened this thread.

The TMNT fandom is comparatively small next to many others, but it sure does have a lot of drama.

[oldmanwinters]

Originally Posted by Leo656

How very professional.

I'm now convinced this "retirement money business" thing is just a tax dodge and she's really a high-price call girl.

Well, there's a children's book coming out soon, so...
That gives her a 1-up on the DotN project?

[Leo656]

Originally Posted by AquaParade

TMNT is way cooler than He-Man or My Little Pony, to be fair.

Who puts these absolute f*cking lies in your head, man, that's what I'd love to know. TMNT isn't even acceptable as a PREMISE, let alone A Thing People Worship. C'mon already with diiiiiisssss.

[Coola Yagami]

Originally Posted by Leo656

It's not my place to "out" everyone who sends me an unsolicited FB link, guv'nah.

No, no, I get that. I just find the term 'concerned citizen' to be humorous lol.

[Leo656]

Originally Posted by oldmanwinters

Well, there's a children's book coming out soon, so...
That gives her a 1-up on the DotN project?

As an addendum to the above:

"When buying my kids' children's books, I like to be sure and buy from the author who has a ton of sexual innuendos all over her website."

I mean, whatever, she appears to be doing okay. I just have a TON of f*cking questions, is all.

Originally Posted by Coola Yagami

No, no, I get that. I just find the term 'concerned citizen' to be humorous lol.

They apparently REALLY wanted me to see what she looks like these days after I publicly wondered about it.

Ain't mad, would smash. Except for the fact that anyone who drops 87 sexual innuendos into a business page about retirement planning 110% has The Herps.

[Coola Yagami]

Originally Posted by Leo656

Christ almighty, is that what "planning for retirement" has come to nowadays? Imagine being like 70 and your biggest sway in hiring a financial planner is "I went with the chick who had a ton of sexual innuendos on her website, that seemed like a solid way to go." Imagine being the WIFE of said 70-year old and having to go with him to meet this chick.

"Alright so let's discuss some options to you get a thick retirement package. Times might be hard, but trust me I can handle hard. If you decide to use me, I promise both of you will be satisfied with the results. I've been known to help retirees reach their peak, as long as they can afford my services of course".

[Andrew NDB]

You know, I can't really find any evidence that any of this financial stuff is real with her. There could be something weird going on.

[Leo656]

So we got a guy who blew his whole wad on an absolute madman's dream, and his ex-wife who pretends to be a financial planner but is secretly a sex worker hiding behind a white-collar facade.

...Still probably would've done better stuff with the TMNT brand than Viacom has. But then so would a blindfolded, three-legged alpaca with an old Ichabod Marker jammed up its ass. So, y'know.

[Jester]

My wife and I recently watched a documentary about the lady who created Barney the dinosaur and it revealed that her son kind of went nuts having to be Barney's older brother and that the guy that plays Barney studied the Tantra and is now a tantric sex guru. All that to say movies about the crazy background of something like this seem to be making the rounds so maybe just maybe he'll actually make a movie about the failed production of his stupid Ninja Turtle movie / comic

[AquaParade]

Originally Posted by Leo656

Who puts these absolute f*cking lies in your head, man, that's what I'd love to know. TMNT isn't even acceptable as a PREMISE, let alone A Thing People Worship. C'mon already with diiiiiisssss.

Well the premise of all three are no more ridiculous than an acid trip, but the turtles being born into a cycle of revenge, and being the only type of their kind, is awesome.

Decorate it with gritty New York streets, ninjas, mutants, science-fiction and you have something awesome.

And the meta of it is cool too - two artists meet, create something on their own, make it happen, and reap the rewards, while maintaining control for longer than most.

Whereas He-Man was just made to make toys and could have apparently just as well ended up as a Spaceman or a soldier. Where's the passion?
And that feeds into the fiction - it's based in a need to sell toys. That just doesn't produce as great of results, which is why the franchise is largely dormant, I suppose.

TMNT is an awesome property. Don't blame it for the unmentionable fans and the strange things they do.

[oldmanwinters]

If y'all don't wanna wait for the book to drop, you can subscribe to the newsletter: The Naked Professional

[Leo656]

Originally Posted by Andrew NDB

You know, I can't really find any evidence that any of this financial stuff is real with her. There could be something weird going on.

CLEARLY a hooker, upon investigation. Like, at first I didn't see it but the more layers you peel back, yeah, this is absolute code. Even the body text starts to read very "iffy" the more you re-read it.

Maybe the "financial planning" gimmick is a giant knife-twisting rib on her ex? Like "You blew all our money and so now I have to slut around for cash, but it's okay, I'm doing much better now," and the whole veil of "financial planning" is just a giant middle finger to the guy for "driving her to this". "I wouldn't have to be a prostitute if my ex didn't blow our nest egg on nonsense!" Y'know? It actually all makes sense, in that regard.

But yeah if this whole business of hers is legit I think that actually makes it even worse and less ethical than if she's actually a hooker. Like I think luring people into letting you handle their life savings by being all "tee-hee cheeky double entendres and suggestive poses" would actually be even worse, honestly. Like if she's just a hooker with a classy, "don't get caught cheating on your wife with me" website... that's clever. If she's actually selling financial planning and relying on desperate, lonely old guys' boners to earn clients, well... that's actually pretty skeevy.

What the f*ck did I get into with this sh*t, man.