The New Café - Page 165

*XERO* · 06-11-2009, 11:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheCure

Then keep it simple! If you see yourself doing it, just stand back for a moment and think...

"What would the dictionary say?"

BAM, problem solved.

Thank you for the advice.

*The Stryker* · 06-12-2009, 08:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Benvenuto

Well, if you care to know, IMO it means that everything is not bound by the rules of tradition.

If a person robs a store, you'd be quick to label that person a thief. But what if that person had a car, and as he/she is robbing the store, someone ends up stealing his/her car?

Does that now make that person a victim, even after the robbery he/she committed?

What the hell are you even talking about anymore?

*XERO* · 06-12-2009, 03:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stryker

What the hell are you even talking about anymore?

Nothing, I suppose. I had an honest opinion, and it got us nowhere but here, thanks to my over-complicating things again, like Cure mentioned.

More proof that I'm slowly going insane, but that's how it is, I guess. Being simple is a lot more difficult with me now, unless I get lucky.

But, anyway, for what it's worth, my apologies. I clearly distorted this thread.

Ginny · 06-24-2009, 08:13 PM

I am really in need of some advice. I recently was talking with my friend about her new man and she made the statement that he had more in common with me than with her. I told her that I was absolutly not interested that;

#1 I'm a confirmed bachelorette but when I do go on a "casual" date
#2 I won't date a guy who is younger than me.

Well, she is a bit older than me and she freaked out on me for saying that. She kept yelling, "What's wrong with dating a younger guy? Are you saying something is wrong with me?" She was just freaking out! And it was then that I stuck my foot in my mouth so far I choked on my knee. I responded by telling her to stop taking her issues out on me just because I don't consider my entire existence a failure because I don't have a man in my life like she does, and I told her that I don't give a flying f*** what she does because I'd never think so little of myself that I'd date a jerk like him. (Met him over dinner, and he was EXTREMELY rude to the waitress, told me all I needed.)

Needless to say, my friend is not speaking to me. I know I should apologize, but I can't help but feel she owes me one as well. Am I wrong about that? To tell the truth, I've kind of enjoyed the peace with us not speaking. Ever since they started dating, she's been after me to "go find someone special to spend your life with." (Grief, I want to gag, I hate sappy sh*t!)

So maybe I have two questions when all is said and done. Am I wrong in thinking she owes me an apology too? And is there something wrong with me that I don't care that I'm single and prefer to remain single?

*Mecha Cow* · 06-25-2009, 07:04 AM

While her behavior wasn't entirely rational, it's pretty hard to side with you on this matter, to be honest. I wouldn't hold my breath for an apology from her.

I don't know how old you are, but why do you want to stay single? Harsh comments like yours don't just come out of nowhere. Are you sure you're not the one taking something out on your friend?

*Anarchistguy* · 06-25-2009, 07:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mecha Cow

While her behavior wasn't entirely rational, it's pretty hard to side with you on this matter, to be honest. I wouldn't hold my breath for an apology from her.

I don't know how old you are, but why do you want to stay single? Harsh comments like yours don't just come out of nowhere. Are you sure you're not the one taking something out on your friend?

I agree with that statement. I don't think she'll apologize anytime soon. but I also agree with some of what Ginny said. Just because you're single, that doesn't make you a loser, failure or some other inane crap. Some people like being single better than being with the wrong person or just aren't ready to be in a relationship.

I have to admit, though, you got pretty defensive with your friend. Is that a sign? That's a question to which only you has the answer.

Ginny · 06-25-2009, 09:49 AM

Thank you for your replies Mecha and Anarchistguy. I think I lost it so completely because it had been building up for so long. I feel sometimes like I'm under a barrage from her and another one of my friends. Is it really that hard to believe a girl likes being single? Why can't they just be happy that I'm happy and stop trying to push this stuff on me? If I hear, "Oh, we need to find you someone!" one more time I'm going to take a long leap off of a high cliff.

I'm 34, and I'm happy on my own. Period. I don't like restrictions on my time and activities. If someday I meet a man I mesh with, great, but I'm not going out looking for someone. I'm happy, why can't that just be enough?

I should add that prior to this confrontation, I have been subjected to "Oh, he'll never stay with me. Oh, I'm so ugly, what does he see in me? Do you think he'll get tired of dating someone my age? (she's 35, he's 30)" so there you go.

*Anarchistguy* · 06-25-2009, 09:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ginny

Thank you for your replies Mecha and Anarchistguy. I think I lost it so completely because it had been building up for so long. I feel sometimes like I'm under a barrage from her and another one of my friends. Is it really that hard to believe a girl likes being single? Why can't they just be happy that I'm happy and stop trying to push this stuff on me? If I hear, "Oh, we need to find you someone!" one more time I'm going to take a long leap off of a high cliff.

Woah! Woah!! Woah!!! Why would YOU jump off a cliff for being told that? Why not impose yourself and tell them to f*** off?

Quote:

If someday I meet a man I mesh with, great, but I'm not going out looking for someone.

I wish more singles had that train of thought instead of rushing towards assholes/bitches in order to satisfy their lack of affection.

Ginny · 06-25-2009, 10:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anarchistguy

Woah! Woah!! Woah!!! Why would YOU jump off a cliff for being told that? Why not impose yourself and tell them to f*** off?.

Good point.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anarchistguy

I wish more singles had that train of thought instead of rushing towards assholes/bitches in order to satisfy their lack of affection.

So do I. It is sad what some people will endure to have someone in their life.

I realize now that what I said didn't even fit the situation. I think the volcano just finally erupted. I'm going to apologize to her.

*BubblyShell22* · 06-25-2009, 05:47 PM

I say apologize to her but tell her to back off on the relationship thing. If you're happy being single, tell her you wish to remain so. Most of the time, love comes along when you're not looking for it. You become friends and wait to see what happens. If you mesh well and get along well, things may turn out okay. This happened with me. I wasn't looking for a relationship and just planned on being friends with the guy. It turns out we have a lot in common, including the fact that we're both visually impaired. So, it just blossomed from friendship into a relationship.

Peanut · 06-25-2009, 06:03 PM

You're like the female version of Jughead!

SassyGal · 06-25-2009, 09:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ginny

I am really in need of some advice. I recently was talking with my friend about her new man and she made the statement that he had more in common with me than with her. I told her that I was absolutly not interested that;

#1 I'm a confirmed bachelorette but when I do go on a "casual" date
#2 I won't date a guy who is younger than me.

Well, she is a bit older than me and she freaked out on me for saying that. She kept yelling, "What's wrong with dating a younger guy? Are you saying something is wrong with me?" She was just freaking out! And it was then that I stuck my foot in my mouth so far I choked on my knee. I responded by telling her to stop taking her issues out on me just because I don't consider my entire existence a failure because I don't have a man in my life like she does, and I told her that I don't give a flying f*** what she does because I'd never think so little of myself that I'd date a jerk like him. (Met him over dinner, and he was EXTREMELY rude to the waitress, told me all I needed.)

Needless to say, my friend is not speaking to me. I know I should apologize, but I can't help but feel she owes me one as well. Am I wrong about that? To tell the truth, I've kind of enjoyed the peace with us not speaking. Ever since they started dating, she's been after me to "go find someone special to spend your life with." (Grief, I want to gag, I hate sappy sh*t!)

You know what, I had a friend that just would not shut up about her ridiculous excuse for a relationship, but I tried to be a good friend and be supportive of the struggles of dating a guy almost ten years older than her. I finally told her it was time to stop torturing herself and the fact that she had to trick him into being with her by doing some fairly insane stuff, meant he just wasn't worth it. She stopped speaking to me and I sure as hell don't miss the late night calls filled with crying that came along with being the friend of a self-centered brat who engages in some very stalker-ish behaviors. It was all about her and she even stopped saying hello when she called, just launching into her tales of woe and stupidity.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ginny

So maybe I have two questions when all is said and done. Am I wrong in thinking she owes me an apology too? And is there something wrong with me that I don't care that I'm single and prefer to remain single?

She owes you an apology too. Though you may just want to explain to her why you got angry. She may just need to hear that it can be hurtful to always have that condescending "we have to find you somebody" stuff thrown at you like that all the time. I have been there and it sucks.

And there ain't nothing wrong with preferring the single life. My sister loves being single! Show me one single girl who wants to get married and I will show you five married gals who miss the single life. I love being married, but damn! I enjoy it when RamBam takes his third week of vacation alone! It's a guaranteed week of Labyrinth appreciation, TMNT, and girl gossip nights!

Ginny · 06-26-2009, 11:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Peanut

You're like the female version of Jughead!

That is an awesome compliment, thank you!

I have to sig that!

Quote:

Originally Posted by SassyGal

You know what, I had a friend that just would not shut up about her ridiculous excuse for a relationship, but I tried to be a good friend and be supportive of the struggles of dating a guy almost ten years older than her. I finally told her it was time to stop torturing herself and the fact that she had to trick him into being with her by doing some fairly insane stuff, meant he just wasn't worth it. She stopped speaking to me and I sure as hell don't miss the late night calls filled with crying that came along with being the friend of a self-centered brat who engages in some very stalker-ish behaviors. It was all about her and she even stopped saying hello when she called, just launching into her tales of woe and stupidity.

Wow, I really feel for you! It is crazy the things some girls will do! I'm seeing my friend right now changing herself to fit into his life. I just don't see this progressing very well, and I'll be the one that will have to listen to her moan about being ugly and unloved.

Quote:

Originally Posted by SassyGal

She owes you an apology too. Though you may just want to explain to her why you got angry. She may just need to hear that it can be hurtful to always have that condescending "we have to find you somebody" stuff thrown at you like that all the time. I have been there and it sucks.

And there ain't nothing wrong with preferring the single life. My sister loves being single! Show me one single girl who wants to get married and I will show you five married gals who miss the single life. I love being married, but damn! I enjoy it when RamBam takes his third week of vacation alone! It's a guaranteed week of Labyrinth appreciation, TMNT, and girl gossip nights!

She'll say, "Oh you don't mean that." yet again. I'm going to email her tonight. I'm not allowed to call her because I get yelled at if she's on the phone with him and I call.

Regardless, I'm not going to miss a single moment of this life because all I can think of is what I don't have!

Sassy, I know what you mean. I'm the only single chick in the billing office, and I listen to my co-workers gripe about their husbands and how they have this, that, and the other to do when they get home. I always respond with the quote; "Yeah, good luck with that. I'm going home to do what I want, when I want, and how I want to do it."

SassyGal · 06-26-2009, 08:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ginny

Sassy, I know what you mean. I'm the only single chick in the billing office, and I listen to my co-workers gripe about their husbands and how they have this, that, and the other to do when they get home. I always respond with the quote; "Yeah, good luck with that. I'm going home to do what I want, when I want, and how I want to do it."

I am so jealous of you right now!

*Katie* · 06-30-2009, 07:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ginny

I am really in need of some advice. I recently was talking with my friend about her new man and she made the statement that he had more in common with me than with her. I told her that I was absolutly not interested that;

#1 I'm a confirmed bachelorette but when I do go on a "casual" date
#2 I won't date a guy who is younger than me.

Well, she is a bit older than me and she freaked out on me for saying that. She kept yelling, "What's wrong with dating a younger guy? Are you saying something is wrong with me?" She was just freaking out! And it was then that I stuck my foot in my mouth so far I choked on my knee. I responded by telling her to stop taking her issues out on me just because I don't consider my entire existence a failure because I don't have a man in my life like she does, and I told her that I don't give a flying f*** what she does because I'd never think so little of myself that I'd date a jerk like him. (Met him over dinner, and he was EXTREMELY rude to the waitress, told me all I needed.)

Needless to say, my friend is not speaking to me. I know I should apologize, but I can't help but feel she owes me one as well. Am I wrong about that? To tell the truth, I've kind of enjoyed the peace with us not speaking. Ever since they started dating, she's been after me to "go find someone special to spend your life with." (Grief, I want to gag, I hate sappy sh*t!)

So maybe I have two questions when all is said and done. Am I wrong in thinking she owes me an apology too? And is there something wrong with me that I don't care that I'm single and prefer to remain single?

your girl has some serious insecurity issues. she was checking you to see if you would be competition to her and you broke her confidance evern more by saing what you did abut dating younger guys.

nothng wrong at all with being single. i had alot of those days where i was the only one in my group of friends who wasn't dating. no reason to have the hormone / i need a baby/ no one will ever love me alarm clock go off. love happens when it does.

now they are all married with babies and I'm dating. nothing like everyone's every conversation being about babies.

Katie: "so'd you see that new movie? it was really great and that one scene with...."

FriendX: "OMG little johnny did the CUTEST thing last night when he spit up his mashed carrots....OMG look I have 60 pictures!!!"

Katie: ....
But that movie was good! didn't you say you were going to go?

FriendX: Looooook. carrots in his hairrrrrrrr. adorable.

Katie: Ew. that's kinda gross.

FriendX: you think my baby is GROSS?!

Katie: that's not what I said...

FriendX: you just need to have a baby. you'll see.

Katie: Oh HELL no. no. I am SO not pushing one of those out of me. I'm not even married!

FriendX: you've got a boyfriend.

Katie: and? neither one of us is ready for that.

FriendX: sperm bank.

Katie: You think I'm that pathetic? No.

*Storm Wolf* · 07-02-2009, 12:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Katie

Katie: "so'd you see that new movie? it was really great and that one scene with...."

FriendX: "OMG little johnny did the CUTEST thing last night when he spit up his mashed carrots....OMG look I have 60 pictures!!!"

Katie: ....
But that movie was good! didn't you say you were going to go?

FriendX: Looooook. carrots in his hairrrrrrrr. adorable.

Katie: Ew. that's kinda gross.

FriendX: you think my baby is GROSS?!

Katie: that's not what I said...

FriendX: you just need to have a baby. you'll see.

Katie: Oh HELL no. no. I am SO not pushing one of those out of me. I'm not even married!

FriendX: you've got a boyfriend.

Katie: and? neither one of us is ready for that.

That sounds about right.... I mean MOST all the girls in my workplace have children and this seems to be the conversations we have. I guess I will understand the 60 pictures thing once I do have a baby, but why do they have to pressure me? It's not like me having a child will directly effect them in any way.
My convo last week:
Co-worker: So when are you going to have a baby?

Me: I dunno.... 2+ years....

Co-worker: You should have one now!

Me: uh....why? Children are time consuming....and expensive.... I'm not ready for that.

Co-worker: Babies are cheap! They don't cost much at all! Plus you get a big TAX return!

Me: (sarcastic) So when the baby gets too expensive...I can just flush it down the toilet or take it to the pound? i mean...when it's done being cute and gets to expensive to maintain I'm not sure if I'll want it.

This usually ends the conversation....Can't imagine why.

I don't think it's strange to want to be single at all. I mean what's the point of making yourself miserable if you don't have to be? I mean finding the right person who compliments your lifestyl and gives you freedom will change your single feeling....when that person/time comes along

Ginny · 07-06-2009, 12:17 PM

My usual response to the "When are you going to have a baby?" thing is, "If I have one of my own, you'll lose me as a babysitter." That usually shuts them up.

So, I apologized to my friend yesterday. I just wanted to make peace with her. Here's how the conversation went after the apology;

HER: "It's ok, I realize you are just jealous I met someone."

ME: "OMG! Are you kidding me? We've been friends for 10 years do you even know who I am?!"

HER: "Of course I know you. What did you do last night?" (July 4th)

ME: "I spent several hours solving 'The Lost Symbol' tweets, and then fell asleep reading 'Digital Fortress' for the millionth time."

HER: "Oh, that is so boring, we need to find you someone."

(At this point, I'm glad we're on the phone so she can't see me bashing myself in the head with a pillow)

ME: "Ok, you know what? To me, that wasn't boring. I happened to really enjoy it, just like I really enjoy my life! Now let's drop it!"

We didn't stay on much longer, but oh good grief, what do I have to do to convince her I am not looking to meet anyone? I admit, I spoke to harshly before, and what I said didn't fit what she even said, but YIKES!!!

*The Stryker* · 07-06-2009, 12:24 PM

It's like a Twilight convention in here.

Anyway. I have this meeting to go to tonight but my girlfriend's birthday is tonight as well! I need to go to both but I can't! Any solutions?

Note: To be in the meeting I need to wear a fancy hat and to be in the party I need a party hat.

愛 · 07-06-2009, 12:38 PM

You never told me you had a girlfriend. Is this one from fantasyland?

Anyway, tell her you gotta go do MANLY things and you'll be at the party later.

*Cipher* · 07-06-2009, 01:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stryker

Anyway. I have this meeting to go to tonight but my girlfriend's birthday is tonight as well! I need to go to both but I can't! Any solutions?

Time to pull what I call "The Sitcom." Create hilariously unbelievable excuses at both events to allow you to move between them. For example, at the party, you might say "Excuse me, I feel the need to urinate for forty-five minutes, what what." Use this time to change clothes and travel to the meeting, which you'll eventually leave by claiming you've left your toaster on, or feigning an urgent phonecall about a dying family member.

Repeat these steps until you are unavoidably required to be in both places at once, or you accidentally use the same excuse twice. "Didn't your grandmother just die an hour ago? How can she be sick again?" At this point you come clean and everyone laughs at the same time. Reprecussions will be minor and amusing.

Alternately: Body double.

Quote:

Note: To be in the meeting I need to wear a fancy hat and to be in the party I need a party hat.

Four words: Hat-under-another-hat.

06-24-2009, 08:13 PM	#3284
Ginny Hench Mutant Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Steubenville, Ohio Posts: 352	I am really in need of some advice. I recently was talking with my friend about her new man and she made the statement that he had more in common with me than with her. I told her that I was absolutly not interested that; #1 I'm a confirmed bachelorette but when I do go on a "casual" date #2 I won't date a guy who is younger than me. Well, she is a bit older than me and she freaked out on me for saying that. She kept yelling, "What's wrong with dating a younger guy? Are you saying something is wrong with me?" She was just freaking out! And it was then that I stuck my foot in my mouth so far I choked on my knee. I responded by telling her to stop taking her issues out on me just because I don't consider my entire existence a failure because I don't have a man in my life like she does, and I told her that I don't give a flying f*** what she does because I'd never think so little of myself that I'd date a jerk like him. (Met him over dinner, and he was EXTREMELY rude to the waitress, told me all I needed.) Needless to say, my friend is not speaking to me. I know I should apologize, but I can't help but feel she owes me one as well. Am I wrong about that? To tell the truth, I've kind of enjoyed the peace with us not speaking. Ever since they started dating, she's been after me to "go find someone special to spend your life with." (Grief, I want to gag, I hate sappy sht!) So maybe I have two questions when all is said and done. Am I wrong in thinking she owes me an apology too? And is there something wrong with me that I don't care that I'm single and prefer to remain single? __________________ "Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?"* Last edited by Ginny; 06-24-2009 at 08:22 PM.

06-25-2009, 07:04 AM	#3285
Mecha Cow Gorgeous and modest too Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 3,699	While her behavior wasn't entirely rational, it's pretty hard to side with you on this matter, to be honest. I wouldn't hold my breath for an apology from her. I don't know how old you are, but why do you want to stay single? Harsh comments like yours don't just come out of nowhere. Are you sure you're not the one taking something out on your friend? __________________

06-25-2009, 09:49 AM	#3287
Ginny Hench Mutant Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Steubenville, Ohio Posts: 352	Thank you for your replies Mecha and Anarchistguy. I think I lost it so completely because it had been building up for so long. I feel sometimes like I'm under a barrage from her and another one of my friends. Is it really that hard to believe a girl likes being single? Why can't they just be happy that I'm happy and stop trying to push this stuff on me? If I hear, "Oh, we need to find you someone!" one more time I'm going to take a long leap off of a high cliff. I'm 34, and I'm happy on my own. Period. I don't like restrictions on my time and activities. If someday I meet a man I mesh with, great, but I'm not going out looking for someone. I'm happy, why can't that just be enough? I should add that prior to this confrontation, I have been subjected to "Oh, he'll never stay with me. Oh, I'm so ugly, what does he see in me? Do you think he'll get tired of dating someone my age? (she's 35, he's 30)" so there you go. __________________ "Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?" Last edited by Ginny; 06-25-2009 at 09:56 AM.

07-06-2009, 12:17 PM	#3297
Ginny Hench Mutant Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Steubenville, Ohio Posts: 352	My usual response to the "When are you going to have a baby?" thing is, "If I have one of my own, you'll lose me as a babysitter." That usually shuts them up. So, I apologized to my friend yesterday. I just wanted to make peace with her. Here's how the conversation went after the apology; HER: "It's ok, I realize you are just jealous I met someone." ME: "OMG! Are you kidding me? We've been friends for 10 years do you even know who I am?!" HER: "Of course I know you. What did you do last night?" (July 4th) ME: "I spent several hours solving 'The Lost Symbol' tweets, and then fell asleep reading 'Digital Fortress' for the millionth time." HER: "Oh, that is so boring, we need to find you someone." (At this point, I'm glad we're on the phone so she can't see me bashing myself in the head with a pillow) ME: "Ok, you know what? To me, that wasn't boring. I happened to really enjoy it, just like I really enjoy my life! Now let's drop it!" We didn't stay on much longer, but oh good grief, what do I have to do to convince her I am not looking to meet anyone? I admit, I spoke to harshly before, and what I said didn't fit what she even said, but YIKES!!! __________________ "Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?"

07-06-2009, 12:24 PM	#3298
The Stryker Stupid Rich Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Room 237 Posts: 11,152	It's like a Twilight convention in here. Anyway. I have this meeting to go to tonight but my girlfriend's birthday is tonight as well! I need to go to both but I can't! Any solutions? Note: To be in the meeting I need to wear a fancy hat and to be in the party I need a party hat. __________________ @~<3 Mom~@

06-25-2009, 05:47 PM	#3290
BubblyShell22 Leo-holic Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Indiana Posts: 16,912	I say apologize to her but tell her to back off on the relationship thing. If you're happy being single, tell her you wish to remain so. Most of the time, love comes along when you're not looking for it. You become friends and wait to see what happens. If you mesh well and get along well, things may turn out okay. This happened with me. I wasn't looking for a relationship and just planned on being friends with the guy. It turns out we have a lot in common, including the fact that we're both visually impaired. So, it just blossomed from friendship into a relationship.

06-25-2009, 06:03 PM	#3291
Peanut Second Gear Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: The New World Posts: 15,422	You're like the female version of Jughead!

07-06-2009, 12:38 PM	#3299
愛 Super Moderator Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 7,449	You never told me you had a girlfriend. Is this one from fantasyland? Anyway, tell her you gotta go do MANLY things and you'll be at the party later.